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Old 09-20-2009, 01:21 AM   #31
Burntmarshmallow
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Lifesaver welcome to sos.
I am sorry for the pain you are livning with.
I am glad you found your way here.
I have t.n. and also have anesthesia dolorosa. I know about those kinds of pain. I also have delt with ptsd and heavy depression also attempting.
I am glad your seeing a pro .slowly but surely that helped me as did other things.
not for one second do i wish any of your illnesses were terminal .
ending your life would not make ANYTHING better for you or your family.you need those guts to keep on going !!! you can not imagen the guilt they would have to face and live with each day.
Your family may not understand but I want you to take that a step further... and think this... your family dose not understand how to act or what to do because your sick and living with pain. you didnt have to deal with dark feelings before you got sick.... it is a learning process for everyone. for you for them for the whole lot of us...
can I ask ,are you able to control the t.n. pain with meds or nerve blocks?? I have lots of info on t.n and neuralgia over all and will offer all the help I can give ... with t.n. and anything else.
please do not give up. you will find a new purpose and reason in life. we will help you. thats what this place is all about. helping ,listening, reaching and holding on, picking eachother up. its like a family of non judgemental, wise ,caring amazing people. and I am glad you right next to me cus it is possible I can help somehow. so hold on , do NOT be so hard on yourself. I know how I got so angry at my own body for "letting me down" . please dont give up . I know you can get threw this and find purpose and reason again. we will help you each in our own way help the best we can.
sending low pain positive thoughts and lots of strength to you lifesaver .
PEACE
BMW
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Old 12-07-2009, 11:03 PM   #32
bleusz
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Hey Lifesaver,

I read your post and it touched me greatly. I wonder too how your mother could say such a thing to you. So because she wont say I will, I am sorry.

I under the suicidal feelings and how you would wish one to be terminal or to have the guts to end it. I cant and wont compare my little neuropathy problem to what you are going through but I have felt the same way at times. That being said I can total understand why people kill themselves when they are sick.

Back in 1996 my father was battling a cancer that attacked his whole body, so at the end of February he decided to shoot himself in the chest. While my stepmom was outside feeding thebirds she heard the shot and came in and he was still alive. She sang to him he died in her arms. I was sworn to secrecy because my father was a well known business man and my brother thought if people found out it would shame our family. I on the other hand feel that he did what he had to do. It took me a long time to figure that out!

Why did I tell you this, I felt I needed to. Just know you have my prayers, support, and love from a new friend. If you need anything ask. Would I want you to kill yourself, no, but, I would totally understand it.

Sometimes you need to stop thinking of everyone else and just think of you!

F em if they dont understand!! (Me being angry for you)

Love,
bleusz
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Old 12-08-2009, 06:40 AM   #33
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I wonder how many of us simply forget to look up here at the introductions and miss people's posting. I do and I apoligize to Lifesaver and I thank bleuz for responding to her.

I wonder (yeah, wrong thread) how many of us think it would be a good idea to put this thread "downstairs".

Oh Lord....no polls please. *grin
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Last edited by Alffe; 12-08-2009 at 08:05 AM.
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Old 12-08-2009, 12:40 PM   #34
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I wonder if the green arrow will help the thread up here be better noticed

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Old 12-08-2009, 01:15 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by therealme View Post
i have tried to take my life twice now, and both times i was unsuccessful.
i can't say that i dont think about ending it, because i do...
i was told after my second attempt that Suicide was the cowards way out, and that hit a chord with me, as i thought everyone who knew what i had tried was classing me as a coward... now i think that you have to have a certain amount of bravery to take that final step..
You are not a coward - you are reaching out for help. We welcome you - post as often as you can.
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Old 12-08-2009, 01:23 PM   #36
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Originally Posted by Justice View Post
I'm not proud of how many times I've tried to end it,starting at age 5,but I probably have broken some type of record.And I don't like people who label others,when they don't know anything about why,or walked in thier shoe's.It's easier to call them crazy!I was actually pronounced as "Legally Insane" in this state by a Judge,back then because I'm a "Cutter"! However I've gone 7 years without cutting now! I stopped for my Dad,because of how much I love him! My 2nd to last cutting episode almost killed me,and they notified next of kin,my Dad! Obviously I had to get the blood transfusions,but I also had to learn how to walk again,which scared the hell out of me to.But my Dad was so terrified of coming so close to losing me,that it was the first time I heard him cry.That was all it took,and I slipped once after that,but then I remembered my Dad,and I stopped! I've been afraid since he passed away,because he was all that was stopping me,so now I look for any excuse not to,and now it's Nico,my little Prince! My Avatar is My "Prince Nico",how could anyone abandon someone that adorable? He's my new pride and joy,and I look back at all of my attempts,which I lost count after like 20,but I'm glad I survived....and I don't like to look at myself as a victim,but a survivor! Even though I am,and will still be paying dearly medically for some of the things I did.I except my consequences!
7 years ago is when I changed completely,I quit drinking,using drugs,and cutting,all at once.And I'm still going clean and sober,and cut free today!
even though my Mom tells me the family would be better off without me about every chance she gets.But she's just her same old self as when I was young,I just understand her better now.She's still playing the victim role!
You should be proud of yourself. Look at what you've been through and conquered in spite of your mom and all her baggage.
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Old 12-08-2009, 07:14 PM   #37
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Hello Lifesaver

quote 'Thanks for reading---hate to meat anyone under these circumstances, ever.
lifesaver--but some days I sink like a stone
.' end quote


Good job i can swim good then......when your stone is sinking i'll dive in and bring you back too the surface....you just need to shout out

David....
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:03 PM   #38
MikeyP
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I'm new to NeuroTalk and Survivors of Suicide. I was invited by Alffe (thanks!).

My brother, Ronnie, committed suicide on January 6, 2010. He was 38, a year younger than me. I miss him every day. Every day.

I haven't had the chance yet to read through the other introductions, but I think it's safe to say we all have something in common. I look forward to meeting many of you and sharing stories of our loved ones.

Mike
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Old 07-29-2010, 08:10 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeyP View Post
I'm new to NeuroTalk and Survivors of Suicide. I was invited by Alffe (thanks!).

My brother, Ronnie, committed suicide on January 6, 2010. He was 38, a year younger than me. I miss him every day. Every day.

I haven't had the chance yet to read through the other introductions, but I think it's safe to say we all have something in common. I look forward to meeting many of you and sharing stories of our loved ones.

Mike
I'm so glad you've joined us my friend, but I'm afraid you'll not be properly welcome up here... can you post this below too? *grin Although I could copy and paste you....
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Old 07-11-2011, 08:51 PM   #40
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Hey everyone,

I am Free Kittens and have just joined. I, primarily, am looking for/wanting to give info and support around the issue of depression and having attempted suicide.

I attempted only once, 3 years ago. I have multiple medical issues, lost my job, lost my house, lost my health and was at that point when you just don't see any choices or hope. I overdosed on every CNS depressent I could find in the house and hundreds of tylenol.

I am just now feeling safe enough to start looking at all this. I have been in crisis mode since the attempt. I lost my 3 oldest children as a result of my attempt. My youngest was sexually and physically abused by her father and his mother while I was in the hospital. I have been fighting since then to get my baby safe and just got custody of her, legally, 2 weeks ago. She had been placed with me for 1.5 years and in foster care before that.

Like most (everyone) here I have an awful story that is too long to type all in one post. I'm sure more of my story will come in time.

I'm looking forward to meeting everyone.

Wishing a Grand Day to all
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