That's my Lara! Strong in your decisions!
Good on you!!
xoxoo

I had to chuckle. Thanks Addy, the problem is I start out just fine but then I get sidetracked by *people* LOL

((Lara))

You have a right to stick to your decisions, they're your's. Perhaps you could relay back to these people to leave you alone.

In a case with my family, there was a reconciliation with another family and it has proved to be wonderful for my daughter. In fact, I instigated the reconciliation in the hopes that it would bring about peace of mind for my daughter. It's brought about stirring up memories for me that I am finding easier to deal with as time goes by. But, it's turned out to be a good a healing situation for my daughter.

So I've relived some of the pain from that other family, but the 'pain' and remembering was already there, just aging with me. I think the reconciliation, being good for my daughter, has helped me. But that's just my case.

Life is an ever-changing process and we need to take the paths that we are most comfortable with.

((((((((Lara)))))))))

I can understand your feelings and your decisions. I went through a some-what similar situation several years ago. For me, the family that was calling just would not go away despite my repeated requests, demands, and attempts to ignore.

I finally had to reach a "middle ground" with them... I told them that whatever it is that they wanted me to know that they could write it down, put it in a sealed envelope, and mail it to a 3rd party (I refused to give them my address). A trusted family member of mine still has the envelope. I never read it. I asked the trusted family member to read it to make sure there was nothing time sensitive in there (like a big inheritance check or something) and there was nothing time-sensitive, so the trusted person sealed it up and if/when I ever want to read it, I can... and the person who wrote it was able to also find peace by feeling as if they got to say what was necessary before they passed away.

It was a middle road comprimise that worked for me at that time... it allowed the family member to say whatever it is that they needed to say, and it allowed me the ability to refuse to hear it or read it... and at the same time it also ensures that whatever is in that letter did not disappear when the person passed away.

But I remember the way I felt before we reached this compromise of middle ground... I felt hounded and I felt like my life was being invaded by intruders. It was so hard. I wanted nothing to do with those people but I could not get them to go away and I needed them to go away so I could get on with my life (hence the middle ground compromise).

I never think about that letter at all. I never wonder about what is in it. Reading your post brought back the memory of the situation, but even now that I am thinking about it and talking about I do not want to read it and I do not care what it says... but I do not think about it with anger or sadness, as I type and think, it is no more life-altering than talking/thinking about an old pair of ugly jeans that I threw out in elementary school... it was just a thing that happened and it doesn't bring up any emotional feelings at all, and I never think about it unless someone else mentions it (sort-of like throwing out a pair of ugly jeans 25 years ago).

((((((((hugs)))))))

I know how hard this is, and I hope that they will respect your decision and leave you alone.

Take care,
Liz

Hi Doody and Liz.

Liz, that sounds like a really sensible approach... the compromise. I think if they continue calling my ex then I'd do something like that myself.

thanks.