((((barb))))) what a jewel, just like her mom and aunt. She lives on in our hearts and His.....

Barb ~ I'm holding you and your beautiful daughter in my heart.
Wow, what a family

In addition to her artistic talents Pam wrote beautifully....on learning of her dx with MS, she wrote this....



"And you thought pMS was bad....

It's been a week and a day since I was told the preliminary diagnosis.
M.S.
It sounds like some ironic payback for radical feminist ideals
But it's Multiple Sclerosis.
A name which still appears to be spelled wrong, no matter how many time I write it.

It's a label laced with doomfilled images of wheelchairs and dependency.
A pair of words that conjurs up loss and grief and so many fears I am unable
to name them all.

And yet after having devoured two rather comprehensive books on the subject; turning 35 years of my personal life perspective around,
and weighing my words with the dozen or so friends I've shared the news with..
I find that despite an understandable case of shell shock,
I'm actually in pretty good shape. Whatever that may mean from moment to moment.

No one who loves me enough to be honest will tell you that I am anything other than a control freak.
So it cannot be anything less than a humbling experience to now find myself linked inexorably with a disease that, if nothing else , is known for its unpredictable nature.

Right now I am numb from my chest down.
Though I have regained some feeling in my thighs.
My feet and fingers burn with the simple exertions of walking, standing and
writing.
Tomorrow I may be fine.
Tomorrow I may not be able to walk.

This is a test. This is only a test of your central nervous system.
If this were an actual emergency you would be instructed to...
What? Panic?

The M.S. and I are partners now. It may, if I am lucky enough to go into a long remission, become a silent partner. But it's here with me.
I feel the need to be introduced.
I crave some opportunity for influence with this interloper.
But this is where my journey really begins.

This is where I meet myself in the loss of control.
This is where the mystical quality we call strength solidifies into something
positive and I get to build my character some more. Oh goodie.
Is this also where I get to throw dishes?

Pamela Ogden Sparks Novenber 28, 1997

It's hard to describe her Twinkletoes because she was so much. The pictures Alffe posted tell a lot. She had an Associates degree in Illustration from the Art Institute of Pittsburgh. She served in the Marine Corps for 4 years. She had a love of animals and was a generous contributor to the Human Society. She started working at Herman Miller furniture company building furniture and progressed to the point where she was supervising two shifts of employees in the warehouse. No telling how far she would have gone had not the MS cut off her ability to work at all. She had a marvelous sense of humor and a fierce loyalty for her family and friends. Though it still makes me sad to think of her missing, more and more I can appreciate the miracle that she was and be grateful that I had her for 41 years.

Thank you all for your kind and caring comments - they will help me through the day.

Barbo,

Sending you big hugs !!!

I feel your pain.

Pam is now in a better place

What an amazing ability to write! So descriptive and honest!

Writer, Marine, Illustrator, and a marvelous human being. What a special lady. I'm missing her too.

She was blessed to have such a wonderful family. I will be thinking of her lovely smile today and praying the Lord to sent comfort to your hearts, Barbo and Alffe.

Barbo

Just one more thing.....I left out a lot - but Pam also wrote a science fiction novel. She was searching for a publisher when she died. One of them was interested. I have the book but wouldn't know how to go about editing it with a publisher.

They are remembering at The Bistro Barbo...go have a look.