Since Dad's burial last June I have a new love. Butterflies. Yellow ones in particular.

That day was so traumatic. First I helped to lay him in the ground, and then we had the public service. All through the day, when I thought surly my life was ending, there was this spectacular pale yellow butterfly dancing around the graveside.

At first, I was angry at that poor little butterfly, just as I was angry at the sun for shining, the world for turning. Every single time I broke down, that damn butterfly would wisp by. When the words being said were too much , when the pain was too much to bear, I took to watching that butterfly.

After the service, I left our favorite flowers with him, yellow roses.. and we went down to the local church for the "reception". It was more than I could take. I made my way back to his grave, I needed to be alone to say good-bye. As soon as I saw the stone I fell apart. I half walked half crawled to be beside him.

My husband found me there, sobbing, sprawled across the stone. When he was trying to help me up, I happened to look down.. and there on the roses, the butterfly was resting. Yellow roses, and a yellow butterfly. If not for the whispering movement of his wings, I wouldn't have seen him.

I sat there stunned, just starring at that butterfly. I sat back down, and placed my hand near the flowers. I inched closer and closer to him, he never made a hint at moving. As I put my finger beneath its belly, the butterfly sat on my hand. I sat there like that, in awe, for some time.

A quote came to me.... I can't remember when I first heard it, but I know it was my Dad who told it to me....

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over,
it turned into a butterfly."

It has been a year since that day, and I still can not find words to express the emotions that flew through me at that moment. I knew Dad was at peace. I knew he was there with me.

Every single time I have gone to his grave, I have seen a yellow butterfly. Not orange, purple, blue...but yellow. Crazy to think Dad came to me by way of a butterfly? Perhaps. But, it brings me peace.




I love you Daddy