In her book From A Healing Heart, the author, whose son Jody completed suicide shares the mystery of a single Black-eyed Susan that grows on her sons grave every year, out of season.

"Whether it was a sign from Jody or from God; perhaps a bird dropped a Black-eyed Susan seed on the fresh grave, it brought me relief. I felt that my son wasn't far away, and that his spirit would always be with me.

If nothing more, it helped to begin to think of Jody there, at the gravesite. He was dead, and I began to accept that. I started to realize that I would never again see his form as I had known it. But his spirit would be close and would guide me. I would not forget him and what we shared. He would always be special. What we gave to one another, what we had meant to each other, would not die or diminish with the passage of years, and it has not. Each year since Jody's death, a single Black-eyed Suman has grown on his grave.

It is a comfort and a joy. It is a remarkable phenomenon that now makes me smile rather than cry.

Jody was a kid who never forgot my birthday, and never outgrew giving his mom flowers. I choose to believe he still hasn't.

There are many mysteries in life and death that can't be explained, and I think shouldn't be, just accepted."

From A Healing Heart by Susan White-Bowden

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yep... this place is pretty special!

Nik-key... a yellow butterfly flew through my yard this morning... I'm quite sure he was on his way to see you as he flitted by rather quickly... but I knew his intent... he reminded me of you .... isn't that cool!?!!

You might all notice my atvar is a picture of what I think is a siamese cat sitting in the sunset. (The sunset reminds me of my life living by the ocean in Vancouver - friends and I would have cocktails on our 21'st floor roof in the evenings). One of my special friends: Maureen - always talked about this particular seagull that would sit on the roof railing as we talked... we all called the Seagull "Bud" - he was her long passed away partner. A few years ago, Maureen got a brain tumour and died... and darned if there isn't another seagull who has joined Bud! To this day, when I go to that rooftop - I toast with both Maureen and Bud.

Isn't a wonderful feeling to be reminded that our loved ones are with us forever.


These pics were taken in 2007.

When I was a very little child, my mother passed away and I couldn't find her anywhere. I went out into the garden and saw her there in all the flowers. I actually don't remember her face, but I do know that even when I go into the garden so many decades later, I see her in all the flowers. I have a special love for pansies with their little faces. I know she's always there... somewhere.

I will share a personal secret ...
when my Dad passed away ..I was a teen he was cremated . after when I was 16 my mom decided to move and she put the ashes around the garden at the house before she moved. I stayed and tryed to fininsh Highschool worked being maid and paid rent all that. anyways the "bring to my grave" secret is that after mom sperad the ashes of my Dad I went to the garden and took some of my Dads ashes. oh I know that may have been a very bad thing but I was a kid and gees I just dont know but there is no undoing what I did so many years ago. anywyas I took the ashes some of them and kept them in a cermic vase thing i made in school . when I moved to florida I spread them here at the beach and on the rocks where we as a family came on vacations every summer. Dad always sat on the bench 27th ave beach ramp here. and night as family we would walk the beach from 27th ave to the rocks a.k.a. the jetty. I spread the last of his ashes there at the end opf the jetty.
It has brought me so much peace. i have been able to bring my babies and now they arev18 and 14 all the time to the beach and jetty and i have so much comfort. It is like my Dad in a way has gotten to watch my 2 girls grow and he is always there . I wrote a poem about this if i can find it I will come back and add it.
I feel like when the sea shells wash up he is there and my dad is there feeding off the thing we write in the sand and in every sand castle we have built.
I think I have tears strolling down my face right now and it is hard too see the key board .
I feel bad taking my a bit Dads ashes... but I did
and i have not told anyone except my kids and hub...and even then I only told them that my dad ashes were put in those places..I never told that I took some from the garden.
It is a take to your grave thing for me. May God and my Dad understand and forgive me. PLEASE KEEP MY SECRET
PEACE
BMW

P.S. Nikki I did not mean to highjack your thread..I just read it and this came out. I am sorry. Your post made me remember and want to confess or share or something I dunno...it is one of those days. Please understand and forgive me for my post above. Your Dad is letting you know he is right there.

How lovely BMW....your dad would much rather be at the beach, watching the kids than in the garden. Thanks for sharing that and we won't tell a soul. *grin

Addy, loved seing the pictures.

Alffe Mom thanks for saying that it means SOOOO much.
having my Dad here at the beach and what you think both mean tons. I am glad you dont think it was very horrible what I did. thanks for that. Ya know I am not very church smart and well for all know I could be red flaged by the higher power up in the sky. and my Dad

PEACE
BMW

I use to catch butterflies when I was a teenager. I spent years catching them as a matter of fact.

It is very,very rare to have a butterfly crawl onto your hand,but it's happened for me before. That type of butterfly is called a tiger swallowtail. I love them. I love butterflies. The butterfly has long been a symbol of ressurrection.

When my mother died,cactus plants where blooming with flowers at my brother in laws house. These symbolic things are of great comfort. BF

In my mind yellow has always been for remembrance Nikki. When my FIL died I sent heaps and heaps of yellow roses. I hope he understood.

Goodness.......

I actually almost didn't write this thread. What a shame that would have been! I am sitting here with tears in my eyes, thank you all so much for sharing. It is so personal, but I just knew you guys would understand.

((Addy)) You got me to crying first, did you say Hi to Dad on his way to see me? And yes, very cool! Thank you for sharing your story and the pictures It is indeed a wonderful thing

((Lara)) so beautiful I planted what we call Johnny jump ups, they are perinial miniature panisies at Dad's grave. Now I will think of them having faces

((Steve)) I'm not sure I am up to catching them, but I am researching plants to attract them

((Koala)) so good to see you my dear friend I am very sure he understood!

((BMW)) Angel friend of mine I can't see where you did anything wrong! You must know your Dear Dad is not upset with you for taking a small piece of him with you. As for God, I think, if He can shed tears, he did that day watching you I think it was a very beautiful thing you did.

I have some of Dad's ashes. I bought a set of little keepsake urns to put them in. I plan to put some in his favorite places, I know he would like that

Here I was worried some of you might think I was a nut I just love you guys!

I wonder if one day you might put them in that special garden that you'd planned in his memory. Just a thought.

Thinking of you ....now and always.