I think I've been looking
In all the wrong places
All the half cracked smiles
And all the mindless faces

I think I'm gonna give up soon
Afterall
Never gonna make it to the moon

The stars are too far
The sun too hot
When I look at it now
I'm all that I've got

I know I've been saying
I'll make them all pay
You just watch me rise
I'll make it some day

To the stars that are too far
And the sun that's too hot
When I look at it now
I'm all that I've got
-----


I'm so sick of popping pills, guys. I'm so sick of the heartache. I'm so sick of me. I'm so sick of being a burden to people. You guys think I'm exaggerating, but NO ONE wants to be around me anymore. I've lost. I know everyone says I should take meds and go to the doctor. But that's not what this is about this time. I'm not crashing. I'm of sound mind. I've ruined so many of my relationships. I'm so destroyed. No one wants to be around me. I don't want to be around me.

I know, I'm sorry. Same old story.

Manda, We want you here.

Dear Manda, there is absolutely no reason to feel you need to say sorry for feeling the way you are feeling. Your feelings are real and your expressing them is important. Nothing to say sorry for Manda.

Your title thread reminded me of Bob Dylan's words from Knocking on Heaven's Door...

:That long black cloud is comin' down :

It does feel that way for you at the moment by the sound of it.

You will get through this you know. You just have to keep kicking that black cloud away.



P.S. I've just read a great post you made a week or so ago... here's a little reminder.

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/post523348-56.html

that is the exact line i've been repeating over and over in my head

Hug yourself! You're worth it Manda. If I were there I'd give you a hug.

(((Manda))), can you accept the fact that many here truly want you here with us? It's true, Manda!

Some years (or seasons) in life are much more difficult than others, for sure. Yet, they are not all the same, Manda. Life changes, circumstances change, feelings change...sometimes just as often as the weather patterns change.

I see great strength in you. I have great faith you will overcome...anything/everything that causes you to doubt yourself. You will overcome anything/everything that clouds your own sense of your true worth. Patience ((Dear Manda)).

I hope you will continue to allow us to love you, to accept you, to support you and more! You are worthy, Manda! And...will you accept us...accept our support for you...accept our faith in you...will you accept our acceptance of you? I hope so! I truly hope so, Manda!

I have tremendous hope for you and for your future!