I'm in a predicament. I don't have the extra money to help this friend out and she knows it. Even if I did I can't say that I'd give it to her (as bad as that sounds..,..I just don't think I'd ever see it again and I can't afford to do that right now).

She needs a car. Her's is very old and needs alot of work and she doesn't want to invest $$ in something that is just going to need additional work down the road. She went to a car dealership to see if she could purchase a new car but they told her that she needed a downpayment (at least $3K) and that her credit score was in the low 400's (). If she didn't have a downpayment then she needed a co-signer.

Here's where I enter the picture. She called me last night, in tears, because she feels like she's between a rock and a hard place. Albeit, she created this situation herself by overextending herself and not paying her bills on time (or at all).

I told her I'm on SSDI and barely making it myself. Yes, I have a good car but I won't let her make me feel guilty because of it. Plus, I don't have $3K to give her (and wouldn't if I did!). I can't co-sign.....I don't have a job. I wouldn't anyway because I couldn't afford to take on her car payment which, given her track record, I would eventually get.

We ended the call with her bawling and me feeling guilty....... I know, I shouldn't take on her problem as my own. I feel bad for her, though. Her own mother won't help her because she's been burned so many times before when bailing her out.

I told her that my DS just had to shell out over $700 to get his car fixed and it's not even 5 years old. He had to use every penny he had managed to save up (for a cruise) to get his car fixed. Made him mad but he had to do it.

Maybe this is the rock bottom she needs to hit before realizing that she has to take responsibility for herself. She's 39 years old! I think that's old enough to have learned a lesson by everything that has happened to her in her life.

She tried to call me this morning already but I didn't answer the phone. I've already told her that I'm not in a position to help her. I think I'm the only person who'll even listen to her any longer. She's burned so many bridges over the years. Funny thing is, we're not that close anymore and the only time I ever hear from her is when she needs something. I know I need to just cut the ties on this friendship because it's so one-sided but I don't want to be mean. I don't want to abandon her when she's obviously in a rough spot.

What I won't do.......loan her my car (Never!), loan her money (don't have it), or co-sign anything for her (couldn't anyway even if I wanted to). Nothing left but emotional support and I don't think she even wants that right now.

I think I'm just going to be unavailable to her...for now. Am I being mean-spirited? Does anyone have any suggestions for me?