AMA just reminded me of how great and warming memories can be. I have some really super memories of experiences of yore.

The good memories are not my problem, but sometimes, the bad memories crop up and can ruin my mood/day..

We all have a few bad experiences/memories and, of course, I think my embarrassing or bad moments, made time stand still. I'm sure noone I know, remembers them, but me..

How do you all deal with the bad memories? When one whafts into my mind, I usually shake my head and try to get it out, by thinking of something good, but it doesn't always work.

I'm still punishing myself for things I cannot change....I hate when that happens..

Hey there, SalPal. I am much the same way with those stupid negative events. They pop into your head without warning and bring a black cloud with them.

Do you have an uplifting song that you could program your brain to "default" to? Its hard to just quit thinking of something -- but helpful if you have something positive to replace it with.

Best wishes, my friend.


PS: If nothing else works, there's always chococlate. Won't make anything go away, but I find it very comforting, lol!

How funny, Sal, I just had one of my low jags so I wrote it all down and now I'm much better. I have thin notebooks for this purpose and I just throw them away when they're full. It's a sort of symbolic dismissal to me.

Plus, smacking DM makes a world of difference (or Lambchop if she's handier).

Sally, I'm famous for beating myself up over things that are done and gone. Probably nobody but me remembers them or if they do gives them a second thought. But I do.

The past is the past. Refuse to waste anymore of your present on things of the past that cannot be changed.

I need to take my own advice.

It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this.....keep em coming...Thanks...Whew..

I find myself deep into memories and really so far into them sometimes before I have had the option of deciding if it is good or bad. Maybe it's all this time on my hands since retirement. But I was always prone to this.

I count on my memories, both good and bad. And let them take me on their journey. Because even the bad, or sad ones have brought with them some good and precious times.

Sometimes the good memories end sad. And sometimes the sad memories end good. So I just take them for the ride usually.


It reminds me of Garth Brooks' song, The Dance.
"...I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance ..."

NOW FOR ALL THE STUPID THINGS I'VE DONE OR SAID... THERE IS JUST NO GOING BACK! JUST KEEP IN MIND EVERYONE SAYS AND DOES THINGS WE WOULD RATHER NOT THINK ABOUT. I HAVE BEEN TOLD, IT'S NOT THE MISTAKES YOU MAKE THAT COUNTS... WE ALL MAKE THEM EVERYDAY. BUT RATHER, IT'S HOW WE HANDLE THEM AFTER THEY HAVE HAPPENED.

Or, you could always plug your ears, shut your eyes, and sing "A hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall..."!!!!

I'm into good memories. The bad I "Use" the fact I have MS to forget. Remember only the good "adventures". Now, not so much my own.

I think as we get older we tend to reflect on the past more (probably because we have more of it than younger folks!).

If we concentrate on the good memories.....fun times we've had....I think (and hope) it will push the bad memories farther and farther to the back of our mind.

Whoo! I have some doozies in my background, and I have worked really , really hard to get my life up and on track. Sometimes I will be counting my blessings on what a wonderful life I have, and then....BAM! I remember how cruel someone was to me, or BAM! I remember that I was once cruel to someone else, or BAM! I remember some really hard struggles, or BAM! I remember giving up opportunities that would have gotten me far, just so I could remain stuck a while longer, or BAM! ...you get the idea.

I learned long ago not to fight such things. I have asked for forgiveness for my transgressions, and I am truly repentant about them. I feel horrible for some of the things I have done, or said. I truly am sorry for them. I have asked for, and feel I have been forgiven. Forgiveness, and forgetfulness are two different creatures. I have forgiven those who hurt me. I truly have turned them over to God. He shall be their judge and jury, and its not my place to be that person in their lives. I would have been better off had I never met them, but I cant go back and undo the past, I can only look forward and reshape my future.

I try hard to say a lil prayer for the situation, and simply let it walk through my mind. I dont try to hold it in my head, I dont try to ruminate on it, or rehash how I could have fixed it, or stopped it, or changed it. it is what it is, and there is nothing I can do to change it. I can change how I handle it NOW. I allow it to walk through, and get to the other side, and then I open the door and let it out. I dont want it to stop and talk to me. I just let it dance on by. then I distract myself. I sing a song, or read a book, or do a chore, or pick up the phone, or say a prayer, or talk to a friend, or clean a toilet. before you know it, I am onto something else to think about.

You are not alone sal. you are not alone. We all have those thoughts.

You are definitely not alone, Sally. I swear I look for things to feel guilty about . How useless is that!?

I don't have any good suggestions but here's a from me to you.