[Erin524]

Ok, some of you might have seen me mention that my mom fell down the other day and broke her shoulder.

She saw an orthopedist yesterday and the break was worse than the ER said it was. She needs to have surgery to put a plate and some screws in her arm, and to repair a spot where some bone broke off...that piece of bone is still attached to her rotator cuff. So, she'll have surgery in a couple of weeks.

I'm stressing out right now because I'm absolutely terrified that she's going to fall down again. I was home the day she fell and heard the original fall, but didnt see it. Now I'm so terrified that she's going to fall and get hurt worse that I cant relax or sleep or concentrate.

Any suggestions on calming down or at least relaxing a little. I know that if she falls again, there's probably nothing I can do to prevent it...just hope it doesnt happen, but it's just driving me nuts...

The whole "mom's in pain" thing is freaking me out. I dont like my mom being in pain.

The one good thing right now is that I'm so worried about her, that my mind finally has something to focus on other than my MS and the wacky crap the MS does to me. So, the numbness in my arm isnt bugging me as much this week even tho it's still numb.

[RedPenguins]

Oh, Erin...I'm so sorry to hear about your mom....that is truly frightening and anxiety-producing for sure. And you're right - there is nothing feasible you can do to prevent it from happening (other than tailing/shadowing her 24/7!).... I hope she's taking precautions for herself. As for seeing her in pain - I know how tremendously difficult that is to see a parent suffering. Does she have good pain meds? Are they keeping her "comfortable" at least?

Take some deep breaths...try to let yourself know that this will pass....your family will get through it. As you said, this is taking your mind off your own health problems - which maybe is a good thing for the time being? Kinda crappy though that "some peace" comes at the cost of "no peace" in another avenue.

It's hard when we're constantly reminded that there is SO little in this world that we're actually "in control" of!

Take care of yourself....try to rest...know that you're of no good to your mom if you fall apart, too!!

~Keri

[Erin524]

She's got the "good" drugs. (hydrocodone) and my dad just loaded her up with some a little bit ago when we were getting her all settled for bed. (she's sleeping in a lazy boy chair that has an electronic lift in it...she has 3 of those chairs) Hopefully the pain meds will help her sleep.

I had to be the one to go get her settled in the chair because for some reason, she thinks that I do it better than my dad does. I think it's because I've had broken arms before, and with the MS, I've had to figure out how to sleep in weird positions when the MS is making my skin feel weird or numb or hurting.

We were using pillows to prop up her arm until she started to complain that the pillows were too hard and didnt stay where we were putting them. I grabbed a couple of down throws she has and folded the softest one up into a pillow shape and put that under her arm, and she got all excited that it was comfy and the fabric was soft and didnt drive her nuts. (she's got a massive bruise on her arm, I'm sure the skin is sensitive along with the break making things feel funky too) The other down throw is just the right size to put over her to keep her warm when she's sleeping.

I've also been making her use the ice packs. My dad (the nurse!) was not using any ice to reduce the swelling. Everytime I've had a broken bone, ice always helped make it feel better. So, I'm finally getting to use all those ice packs that I collected while I was taking Copaxone. Keeping my mom warm and her broken arm chilled is hard.

I'm just getting a lot of anxiety from worrying that she'll fall again. I've got a bottle of Ativan that has a few left in it that I'm saving for when the anxiety gets really nasty. I never take that full strength, so it's lasting forever. I break the pills into half and quarter pieces...just enough to calm me down a teeny bit. I'm just trying to not use that stuff that often.

[Dejibo]

Breathe, Erin, just breathe. You already are aware that you have an existing anxiety condition, and that is half the battle. Like me, I am sure you can ramp yourself up in a hurry.

Take time out to just sit and breathe, or meditate, or do yoga. As we stress, we get a good shot of cortisol, and that stuff is nasty to your body. As we relax and or meditate we get a nice shot of endorphins, and that stuff is relaxing and good for you.

As you panic or fall into anxiety, just remind yourself that its just anxiety. Take that que to take a deep breath, and concentrate on relaxing your shoulders, your neck, your back, and tummy. take a deep breath, and relax the rest of you. Close your eyes, and consciously let it go.

Panic isnt going to help you, or mom. If you are alone with her, you are already aware, that you cant, and shouldnt pick her up if she falls. The EMTs are close by. Sit by her, and comfort her till they get there. Is she making alot of noise at night? Can you get earplugs? or play soft music? Leave your TV playing?

hang in there.

[tkrik]

In addition to the great advice others have given, try focusing on what you can do for your mom to make things easier for her. Changing your line of thought and taking action is more helpful than just worrying. In other words, take a look at the things that she does around the house and start doing some of them for her; even if they are little things. This will give your mom a chance to heal and less of a chance of falling again and will help you with your anxiety and worry because you are doing something about it.

As you know, my mom has taken a few nasty spills over the past 6 months. While I worry about her, I also make sure I am doing something for her to help her. My dad has been ill due to the chemo so things are really difficult for them. I can't change the fact that they are getting older. I can't take away my mom's instability on her feet. I can't take away my dad's cancer. But I do have a choice in all of this. I can sit and worry and do nothing or I can get up and do something about it - help them around the house.

Also, elicit help from others. Are you a member of a church where you can ask for assistance? What about neighbors, friends, other family members? Your mom is going to need help now and after the surgery. There is nothing wrong with asking for some help. I know your extended family is not the most supportive and there are many issues there but if the ones you all get along with can help a little that would be so beneficial to the 3 of you.

Hang in there, Erin!