[marion06095]

A few weeks ago Gerry’s ninety-six-year-old dad went into the hospital. He had a kidney infection and had gone into sepsis. That he lived is a miracle. He is now in rehab, and is in pretty bad shape.

Late last winter, Gerry’s ninety-four-year-old mom cut her leg. It still hasn’t healed, so she is going into the hospital within the next two weeks for some vascular surgery to increase the circulation in that leg.

Gerry is down in Florida (we live in Connecticut) now and is due to come home on Tuesday of next week. He went to the store for less than an hour yesterday, and when he came back, mom was on the floor in the kitchen. She wasn’t hurt, and it certainly isn’t the first time she has fallen, but she couldn’t get up. I guess when you weigh somewhere near 80lbs, you just sort of float to the ground. Gerry has decided, and I agree, that mom needs someone with her pretty much all the time.

To make a long story short, it looks like I will be going down to Florida. Gerry and his brother have to make a living. I’m the only one left. I’m afraid I’ll be going down there for an undetermined length of time.

I swear the heat will kill me.

[Momma's Kids]

Saddened to hear of Gerry's parents. The heat can be almost unbearable at times, I stayed indoors most of the time and used a cooling vest when out for long periods.

Hope they both get better so all of you can get back to normal.

[Debbie D]

So sorry to hear of this...I look after my in laws, both in their late 80s. We moved them 5 minutes from our house so I could be available in 5 minutes; they live in an independent living facility that also has assisted living if needed.
It's quite a responsibility, and sometimes I get a bit resentful that DHs sister, who lives in AZ and has quite a career, can go golfing, on vacation, etc without ever worrying if her parents are all right

There are benefits...DH and I have learned about growing old together, and watched his parents' devotion to one another, which has deepened our relationship. They are so appreciative for all that we do for them...in the long run, DH and I will have gotten more out of this experience than my in laws.

Keep your chin up, dear, and know that you're doing a very good thing.

[Kitty]

Praying for you and your DH. It's a tough job but so rewarding. Bless you for being there for them.

[Jules A]

This is very sad but I guess expected when people are fortunate enough to have lived such a long life.

It may sound harsh but when the time comes I am not going to attempt to provide this type of care for my family or inlaws, especially so far away from my support system. As a nurse I know what is involved in providing adequate care and it is not something I am equipped to do especially now with MS myself.

I'd urge you to consider moving them up to your area and hiring help or finding a place for them to get the professional care they will need. It is costly but well worth it, imo.

[marion06095]

Actually, they used to be “snowbirds.” That’s a term used to refer to northerners who spend the winter in a warmer climate. They used to live in Florida in the winter, and then spend the summer here in Connecticut in their long-time family home, which is right next door to our house. In fact this is the first year they didn’t think they’d be able to get back up north at all. I was lead to believe that their HMO was a Florida thing with no coverage for Connecticut doctors or services, but I am going to have to check that out. Otherwise they will have to remain in Florida until the first of the year when they can switch Medicare coverage.

[Debbie D]

It would sure be better for you if you could get them back home then...do the research, I guess would be the best advice. Bless you, dear

[Kitty]

I agree.......if they could come back and especially be right next door that would be ideal. You have to take care of yourself so you can take care of them. If you wear yourself out then all of you will need help and that defeats the whole purpose of you being there. Keeping you in my prayers that this will all work out for all of you.

[putterfit]

I recently moved from one state to another where my current Medicare carrier does not operate. Because of this I must change my insurance company.

Here are the procedures that I have obtained from both Medicare and my current carrier.

First check on Medicare.gov to see if their current carrier operates and offers coverage in the state they are moving to, as that may be the case.

If not contact their current carrier once they move to have that carrier dis-enroll them from the current coverage. They may be able to do that just from your phone call or they may require you to mail or fax a letter requesting to be dis-enrolled from the current program.

The dis-enrollment will take place at the end of the current months coverage and they will 2 months to select and new carrier.

I would suggest that if their is a possibility that they would be returning to Fl at some point you may wish to research companies that operate in both states to avoid having to go through this process the next time.

If I can be of any additional help please feel free to send me a private message.

Mike

[Lady]

Marion, we will miss you if you have to move. I hope you have Internet available if you go to Florida. I think staying in Conn. would be better, if heat bothers you. But then you have the Winter and snow to consider.

It sure puts you between a rock and a hard place. At least you might be closer to Skip's. How are you feeling these days?

I took care of my Mom for 12 years and it's hard. Can they afford live-in home care? It's hard being on call 24/7.

Let us know how things turn out. I hope you find a solution that suits everyone.