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Old 08-01-2010, 12:03 PM #21
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Default All r8!!
C...

U Guys Rock!




oh and thanks for not at my jokes
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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
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Old 08-01-2010, 12:28 PM #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kicker View Post
Ew, ew. And blonde jokes (sorry Kitty):

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
Groooooooan!!!
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Old 08-01-2010, 12:30 PM #23
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Okay, I remember one...

A rich man from Italy moved to the U.S. He contracted an architect to build him a mansion. He told him, "Just make-a sure you put in a hollow statue." The architect said, "no problem."

When the place was finished, the architect took the man around the mansion to make sure he liked everything. They stopped in the front hall.
The rich man said, "Everything is beautiful. But where's my hollow statue?"
The architect pointed to a statue in the center of the front hall. "There."

The rich man yelled, "That is not what I want!! I want a hollow statue! Take that out and get one in pronto!"

So the architect got another statue put in, and brought the man in to see it. "Is this better?"
"No, no no!!" The rich man yelled. "Why can't you get me a hollow statue?"
"Sir, this is the second hollow statue...I don't know what more I can do."

"You no understand...it's like this...this thing rings, I pick up the part I talk in, and I say, "Hollow? S'tatue?"
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Last edited by Debbie D; 08-01-2010 at 12:31 PM. Reason: typos
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Old 08-01-2010, 02:27 PM #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrkmyword View Post
While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a
walk. "People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears,"
one says, "but we have no one to go to with our own problems."

"Since we're all professionals," another suggests, "why don't we hear each other out right now?" They agreed this is a good idea.

The first psychiatrist confesses, "I'm a compulsive shopper and deeply in debt, so I usually overbill my patients as often as I can."

The second admits, "I have a drug problem that's out of control, and I frequently pressure my patients into buying illegal drugs for me."

The third psychiatrist says, "I know it's wrong, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't keep a secret."
Lots of good ones, this one was my favorite!!
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Old 08-04-2010, 07:19 AM #25
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Default Short shorts
How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I'll tell you at Christmas.

What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end.

Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN?
She didn't know what ONE came first...

Afternoon: that part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.

The best way to realise your dreams is to wake up.

Always try to stop talking before people stop listening.




__________________
DX:June 2007
Plasmapheresis:2007
Cyclophosphamide :07/08
Rebif 44 :2008 -09
Copaxone: 2009 ongoing
atypical RRMS

NEVER assume!
I may not look sick but you should see my brain!
.
.


“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist)
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Old 08-04-2010, 07:30 AM #26
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Default On the house
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something from the floor while you get up.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bar tender turns to the grasshopper and says "hey, you know we have a drink named after you?"

The grasshopper responds "why in the heck do you have a drink named Bob?"
__________________
DX:June 2007
Plasmapheresis:2007
Cyclophosphamide :07/08
Rebif 44 :2008 -09
Copaxone: 2009 ongoing
atypical RRMS

NEVER assume!
I may not look sick but you should see my brain!
.
.


“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist)
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Old 08-04-2010, 08:01 AM #27
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why do they have fences around grave yards? folks are dying to get in!

Ok, I remembered ONE joke.
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Old 08-04-2010, 08:29 AM #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dejibo View Post
why do they have fences around grave yards? folks are dying to get in!

Ok, I remembered ONE joke.


awwwright deej woohoo
__________________
DX:June 2007
Plasmapheresis:2007
Cyclophosphamide :07/08
Rebif 44 :2008 -09
Copaxone: 2009 ongoing
atypical RRMS

NEVER assume!
I may not look sick but you should see my brain!
.
.


“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Anna Quindlen(American Author, Journalist)
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