the ex and my DS are leaving Florida. My son called me last night clearly frustrated and angry. I asked what was going on. He said "I AM OUT OF HERE!" I had him slow down and talk to me. I guess his dad has been in search of or clinging to a bottle since they got there. DS is angry that he was not at grandpa's side when he passed, because dad wanted to go to a liquor store. Now during the clean up of the trailor the ex is wandering from room to room clinging to his bottle saying "i dont know what to do. what am I going to do. i just dont know what to do." so, my DS who has been doing all the work told him to just close the door, get in the car, and lets go home. he said he didnt realize how irritating drunks are, and swore to never drink again.

the home is unrentable. not only due to its condition, but the fact that the park has no less than 20 homes for sale/rent in the park and 99% of them are in good shape, clean, bright and in good repair. No one is even looking at them,even tho some are 5k or less in price or best offer. The park rental is $200 a month for parking, and then you have util and such. There is a mortgage on the place because FIL took out a loan to bail out drunk son. There is NO way he will be able to afford the park rent, let alone the $500 mortgage, or the util to keep the place running. My DS is right when he said "what does it matter, the bank is gonna own this place soon anyway" he packed anything sentimental into the car, called good will who came and cleared out all the clothes, extra furniture, and do dads, and then they held a penny yard sale. I am so proud of my DS for being such a man thru this, when his father just showed himself to be useless.

In true ex fashion 90% of the stuff is left undone, the bank accounts are not closed, the bills are not paid, the utilities are still on, the car was not repaired, and now they are limping their way home with him clinging to his bottle while someone else drives. Nice dad huh?

If only your ex could see what he's doing...Ah, well. Maybe it's good your DS is seeing it all for what it is. A shame he gets stuck with so much of the responsibility, though. Bet he's happy to be on his way home!

Amen. A picture is worth a thousand words.....and your DS will remember this picture the rest of his life. If he just heard it from you or someone else it wouldn't have the impact. I'm sorry he's having to put up with his Dad's bad behavior but maybe it will help him (DS) become a better man. It's obviously too late for the ex.

I was thinking the exact same thing. All of DSs life I have shielded him from dealing with exhubbys antics and actions, or lack of actions. I covered for him, and lied to my kids to prevent them from knowing that daddy wanted the bottle more than he wanted to take them to the movies. DS had no clue just how useless, mean and sick this man is, until this trip. At 27 I think I did pretty good to keep him from seeing this till he was of an age to understand it.

From my lips to Gods ear, may this picture stay with my DS so he will avoid that bottle. My dad had alcohol issues, and so does his dad. its thick on both sides of the fence, and I have warned him for years that he has no business with a drink. I think he understands now.

I'm sorry for the loss of your good friend. I know you will greatly miss your letters from him.

Just saw the post that your dear FIL passed...I am so glad he passed the way he wanted to.
Your ex has blessed your DS with the true picture of how low one can go...may your son understand and allow this to become part of his wisdom.

No ideas for you kid, I like my FIL too, and he is on his death bed, but I told him when I booted his daughter I won`t come near the rest of his family. He understood.

DS is back home, and I got to see him last night. He is going to be moving to my state, and is currently looking for work here. He spoke of how angry he is. When all the insurance money comes in his dad is going to keep it. Even tho the letters left to my DS show grandpa wanted him to have some money. ex hubby said its not proof of anything other than an old man who had no clue what he had, nor how to use it. He is going to fix up the trailer, and use it as a vacation spot for all. Its an over 55 park, and ex hubby isnt old enough to live in the park, let alone DS who is under 30! The park will not allow it. ex cant afford the taxes on his current place, and hasnt paid his own mortgage in 2 years! let alone taxes on this place, with park rental, and upkeep, and so on. My DS is right when he said it wont take long for the park to call the tow truck to drag the home out of there, and allow the family to fight with the reclaimation folks about releasing their property to an under 55 park. He wont be able to pay the fines. DS wants to pop a quick sale price on the place, be done with it, split the money and move on with his life. as usual ex is going to mess it up.

DS said after dealing with this nut job screaming at him the whole ride home about which lane to be in, what exit he wants, and constant updates about what every other car was doing on the road, he was ready to pitch his drunken fanny out of the car. He dropped off dad at home and told him to get as far away from him as possible. He is feeling quite used, and taken advantage of. What a horrible lesson to have to learn. Just bruised the kid thoroughly.

Awww, Dejfor DS...
It is so difficult when our parents show us their VERY human tendencies...just let your son know that he is precious in YOUR life and you feel blessed by his presence...and that you are sorry that his dad can't be what he needs in a father...and then let it go...