[PegMeerkatz]

I jokingly say that on a good day I have 2 brain cells that work & on a bad day (most days) they DO NOT work together. While non MS'ers find this funny those of you who have MS cognitive problems like I do know this is anything but funny.

I have been known to put the keys in the freezer, oh I put the phone there once too. More recently I lost one of my landline phones could not find it anywhere. Over 2 weeks later I went in my closet to get a snack before I took my meds when I opened the bag of goldfish cracker - THE PHONE WAS INSIDE.

One of the reasons that Social Services does not feel it is safe for me to live alone (besides the frequent falls) is that I have a history of leaving the stove on or starting to cook something, forgetting what I am doing & walk away only to have the apartment fill with smoke. One of the stipulations of living with my mom (I have been here 10 months) is that I DO NOT light the stove, oven or toaster oven when someone is not here with me. Actually no one lets me cook. Either mom cooks or my PCA. My hands are so unsteady they try to keep me out of the kitchen. I drink a lot of ice coffee & they prefer I do not make it myself because it is always a contest to see if more goes in my cup or on the counter. But anyway, the brain cells or cell as it is most of the time.

Yesterday I had to take my van to a Mobility Dealer who is going to repair my wheelchair lift (another long story) he just needed to get part numbers & measurements. I called him & said I was on the way give me an hour. It is a half hour drive tops but I needed to stop for gas. I have been their many times & it is a pretty straight forward route. I was having what I call a "discombobulated morning" yesterday. Things like not knowing my own phone number, my birthdate etc. So even though I knew the route to the dealer I looked up the directions. Yeah, it all came back to me - I KNOW HOW TO GO. I was going to print the directions out just to be on the safe side. Someday I hope to save enough money to buy a GPS. The printer failed to print it said it needed ink - OK. I DO NOT write well on a good day (my signature is so bad that my bank gives me free bank checks & money orders just so I won't write checks) but if I wrote slowly & carefully I was sure it would work. The only paper I could find was a 2 x 3 notepad. I wrote the directions out as best I could & thought I understood what I wrote. I write large & the directions took up 4 pages. I tore the 4 pages out of the book & put them in the bag of my walker. Yesterday was one of the rare days I was left alone to leave in the morning; my PCA had a funeral & mom had to leave early for an appointment. Before mom left she helped me with the hard stuff; putting on my bra & socks & making sure I had my cell phone & money in my walker.

I left the apartment & got to my van. This is a "trip" in & of itself. I have close parking but "close" IS NOT real "close" in this condo. It was a typical windy fall day (I live right off the Ocean so the wind can be brutal). Getting in the van is interesting. I strap Esperanza (my Service Dog) in her car seat which is in the back passenger seat then I have to get in. I put the walker in the back drivers side & need to use a stool-like device, handle & leg lifter to get inside & even then it is VERY DIFFICULT. I get in the car only to realize I DO NOT have the directions but somehow I DID remember putting the drections in my walker. I can't reach my walker bag from the driver's seat so I have to go thru the whole rigaromole to go out of the van & back in. Ok, review the directions & we are off.

[COLOR=#000000]There are somedays that I refer to a my "discombobulated days" where I can be almost in front my condo & not be sure where I am & it is a distinctive looking building.
[url=http://[/COLOR] MATT DWYER_files -- 000_000_untitled_1.jpg] [img] YESTERDAY WAS ONE OF THOSE DAYS. I drove several miles & suddenly I had NO IDEA where I was. Well I could see from the road sign where I was but where I was in relation to where I should be - - - that was ANOTHER STORY. I pulled off the first exit I could & reread the directions. I sat for minute to drink some of my ice coffee then I was on the road again.
It was 48 degrees yesterday which to "normal" people was cold; I was hot. I had a t-shirt & light jacket on but was sweating (not unusual for me). Before I got back on the parkway I opened the driver's side window & turned the heat on in the back of the van for Esperanza. Naturally the directions blew off the console onto the floor but I was not worried I knew where I was going. Right?
I am driving & driving & suddenly - "Toto I don't think we are in Kansas anymore" - not only wasn't I anywhere near my destination but I WAS IN ANOTHER COUNTY. I get off an exit in a town I never heard of. I pulled into a parking lot & with difficulty reached across the seat & using my "assist handle" & "leg lifter" was able to get the papers with the directions. Well now the pages are all mixed up & as far as I was concerned they were written in hyrogliphics because I COULD NOT make sense of them. I did find one sheet that named a highway I was sure that I just passed. I got back on the parkway & found this parkway - over 1 hour & 20 minutes later (more than 2 hours & 45 minutes after I left home) I arrived at the Mobility Dealer.
Esperanza was dying to get out of the car & do her business. So I took her to a nearby patch of grass before going into the building. I no sooner got inside when another customer came in & described my van he asked if I meant to leave the passenger side door open - "NO but it IS NOT unusual". I didn't bother closing it because I figured the mechanic would be looking at it soon. A few minutes later the Service Manager came to the waiting area, he explained the procedure for getting the lift repaired then he asked for my keys so he could take the van into the work bay. I didn't have pockets in my pants but checked my jacket, my walker - EVERYWHERE - NO KEYS! I told Dan to check the ignition. He gave me a look which was like "this lady must be nuts" . I told him as long as the van WAS NOT running he should not worry about my leaving the keys in the ignition. SERIOUSLY, I HAVE gotten out of the van & left it running MORE THAN ONCE, I even put a "sign" on the horn part of the steering wheel saying "TURN OFF THE CAR & TAKE THE KEYS" - IT DOES NOT HELP!
When I finally finished with the van I still had a couple more errands to run. I DID get everything done though EACH & EVERY TIME I started out on the WRONG ROUTE & had to turnaround.
I went to KFC to get dinner for Espy & I then went home. I was never so relieved as to pull into my parking spot - HOME AT LAST! I started gathering the things together that I had to bring in the house - where are my car keys? I didn't panic I have a hook on my walker for my keys they must be there. Well I COULD NOT find my house keys. Getting from my van to the entrance is a long enough walk but now I would have to go get Security to let me in. I went to the main entrance which IS NOT handicapped accessible & I stood at the bottom of the stairs & called up to the conceigre' explaining my predicament. They called security who let me in the building then into my apartment.
At that point I GAVE UP! Espy & I had dinner & I parked myself in front of the TV to watch the reruns of my soaps that I missed in the afternoon.
And today? Well it appears that only 1 brain cell is working again as evidenced by the 3 people who called me & I had trouble giving them the information they needed. So Espy & I are just going to stay cuddled in bed; take a few naps & chill out -
MAYBE TOMORROW BOTH BRAIN CELLS WILL WORK