I recently learned my mother is quite sick, has had some heart issues, and is struggling. I suspect that if I dont get down to visit that I will miss seeing her one last time. Its awful tho! My druggie sister is already gearing up telling me how much of the momma load she has carried over the years, and wants me to reimburse MY share of the expenses she has had to carry over the years.

I KNOW my mom cashed in her life insurance policy to give cash to my druggie sister, so there is NO money to bury her. My bible thumping bro said he doesnt want to hear anything about her, unless its where the service is. The germophobe said that he may or may not show up even if he does know where the service is, but probably wont, unless he recieves a full and complete apology from that old lady before she dies. its HER move! he says. She has one sister who is alive, but she is so horribly, devestatingly poor and abused herself by her own family that she cant/wont make the service let alone contribute to it. I have a bi polar neice and nephew who are so dysfunctional and dependant on my mom for goodies and staples that they are going to really suffer and fall apart when she dies.

All of this drama BEFORE I even look up air fares, or rental car rates makes me want to shink back and not go anywhere near any of it! Right now, my mom tells me on the phone that she is fine! We all know that she isnt, and I struggle with letting go of so much garbage simply to go visit with her one last time. Even if she survives for the next year, I doubt I will have it in me to visit again. Its too stressful, too much drama, and too heavy to carry. I have fought for the last 48 years to get this woman to see me, love me, acknowledge me, comfort me. I guess I have to treat her badly to get her attention and I refuse to do that.

My question is. Should I go? Should i push thru my own pain, worry, stress and bitterness and go visit the old woman. If I go, I would FLY. the stress of seeing her, and just my family is too draining on me to sit in a car and work myself up to get there. Plus I would be so exhausted for the ride home that I would be dangerous on the road. I HATE my family! they make even the simple things so hard.

So, give me your opinion and then tell me your family story, and then give me a hug please.