Mom had her second epidural last Wednesday. The first one did nothing. On Thursday morning she woke up realizing that she could move her left leg easily!. By Friday she was walking pretty comfortably!!!! Praise the Lord. But she woke up Saturday morning back to the same totally disabling pain and barely able to walk. She had her routine check up with the pain specialist today. Since she no longer has the strength the lift her back and legs out of a car, she uses a lift chair at home, my DH has to do it. So my sister can't take her places anymore. There has been no doctor that has ever asked my Mom to walk so they could see how she can or can't walk. They just take her word for it that she walks with a slow shuffle. LISTEN DOCTORS, THE LADY CAN'T PICK HER LEFT LEG OFF THE FLOOR!!!! So I tell this guy he has to see this. Of course his answer after watching her painfully trying to walk 2 feet was 'how long has this been going on?'. She had been going to him for 2 months!!!!!

Some how my Mom has had adequate pain relief for her severe degenerative arthritis, ostoe-arthritis and spinal stenosis with extra strength Tylenol. She has not accepted narcotics because she gave them to my sister when she was dying of cancer therefore pain needing a narcotic meant you are dying. These were her words. But today Mom accepted a Duragesic patch. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep just knowing how much pain Mom is in. I go over to her apartment and find that there are dishes all over the kitchen, food spoiling, bathroom and bedroom a mess. Mom is an immaculate housekeeper. She had been able to hide all of this from even my sister and I who live here. I just caught her apartment at a bad time when she hadn't hobbled around to pick things up.

So at Christmas if this patch and the epidural hasn't kicked in again hasn't helped all of the family and her are going to have to have a talk. I don't know how long Mom can take care of her apartment. She lives in an assisted living apartment complex but she is there as independent living. They do basic cleaning of the apartment and change linens once a week. If she wants assisted living it is another $500/month. She is down to bare bones in her saving account now and we are all pitching in on her account each month.

Sometimes I just wish God would take her home and have her and Dad and my sister back together again

Here in town are my sister and myself. My sister has fibromyalgia and recently got a scooter herself but two epidurals have helped her. My two brothers live in Ohio and Alabama.

You're carrying a heavy load. I'm praying for your mom, and you also, of course.

i'm so sorry for what your mom is going thru.
she sounds like a fighter with strong opinions.
the road she's on can be tough.

i wish peace for both of you and your family.

Can you find an attorney who specializes in Elder Affairs? When my mom had to go to a nursing home, I contacted one, he was able to get her on MediCade, and preserve her assets. I don't remember his fee now, was about 12 years ago.

If there is an attorney referral service, that would be a place to start.

I'm holding out hope that her pain and immobility issue can be resolved and she can maintain her apartment with the help of the apartment complex and physician care. She makes way to much money for Medicaid. Two years ago she was accepted for Veterans widow pension benefits which is a good check a month. So far today she hasn't had any pain relief and tomorrow I have to go out and find a commode extension since she doesn't have the strength to get off the potty herself.

Praying for your Mom and also you.

no advice just hugs

It really stinks when somebody makes too much money to qualify for assistance, but not enough to meet expenses. Grrrrr.

Sending Prayers and love to You and you Mother.

That's why I got the lawyer for my moms care. It was legal, of course, but he arranged it so the nursing home got all but $30 of her SS check, her assets were turned over to me, as I was now her caregiver. I don't have siblings.

Really, after I did that, everything relate to her care became much easier for me. She was also diabetic, she got better treatment for that, foot care especially. Eye exams, dntal care.

It's worth trying. Maybe hard to accept, but do try!