Hello All, I don't know what happened, but ever since Thanksgiving, I sunk into a deep, deep depression, severe pain an absolute pain in the butt. I had my reasons, lost my morphine pump implant, was on a I.V. for six months, lost my insurance. no big deal, I'll figure all this out later. Xmas really threw me for a loop. Now that Xmas is over I feel like the energizer bunny, my pain level is down. I even want to take the tree down early. Xmas has just become too much of trying to please others and not offend others. According to Nostradamus we only have one Xmas left, so skipping Xmas next year is out of the question. Who else feels better now that Xmas is over? Hugs WTR Nymph

ME! ME ME!

Christmas hit me hard this year. I am not normally a melancholy kinda gal, but this year I rolled up my pant legs and got knee deep in it. From remembrance of birthdays of loved ones lost to thoughts of recent passings and sadness about my child's situation to feeling ding dang sorry for myself and this stupid disease! I didnt want to decorate, I didnt want to socialize. I didnt want to do exchanges of presents or holiday parties. I had to work hard to drag myself out.

Yesterday morning I opened my eyes and realized it was over. Its like someone took a large stone from atop my chest. The parties are still going on in this town, but somehow its different today than it was yesterday. This stupid disease has really kicked my fanny this year, and I for one am glad to see this blasted year go bye bye.

ME! ME! ME!

I had a nice christmas, but I'm sooooo glad it's over!!!

I had a really nice day but I'm glad we're done for another year, too. I even took all my decorations down this morning. I just needed to get everything back in order. I like things to be neat, orderly and in their place.

I remember as a child how much I hated for the tree to come down. And especially the lights my Mom put in all the windows. Blue candles that shown through the window shades we had. I loved to lie there in the dark and look at the blue illumination of the shade. It was comforting.

I've done everything possible this year to "catch the spirit of Christmas." This includes:

• Playing Christmas CD's in my office constantly
• Watching every Lifetime and Hallmark Christmas movie
• Watching my personal DVD's for Christmas
• Buying special cinnamon and Douglas Fur scents
• Buying special Christmas Scented candles to burn
• Lighting the Christmas tree while watching TV at 3:00 AM

The long and short of it........"NOTHING!" I have so many blessings in my life at this time but I have one overwhelming thought I can't shake. Is this my last Christmas? Stupid, I know.

Stop that, right now....we could all think that!!!