they took away her Physical therapist, says it was Medicare rules. So I guess that's not thier fault. But they have given her an occupational thepatist and new RN. These two ladies think that Moms prioity should be to get in the bath tubl. Mom hasn't got in the bath tub for a long time. She prides herself in a good stan up 'sink bath' for a long time. So this woman who can't even raise her leg to walk, it just painfully shuffles along slkowly, asked for help in learning how to turn over in bed. So she gets a lady in that think s that Mom doesn't need to turn over in bed. She needs a shower!!!! So I talked to the agency tody. I asked if they had care conferences, they do but they tlak about all the clients. If need be they will have one just for Mom and I will be invied So thi sperson is going to pass along that Mom needs to learn how to turn over in bed, not learn how to raise a leg toi get in a shower chair. It absolutley ruins her for about 2 days to try to do that. She only has two days left with this occupational therapist and it's not two day to soon. Between Mom Mom's ailments and my not feeling well, I am really down.

Doydie,

You're doing the right thing for your Mom. Dealing with the medical and insurance community we are called to stand up and kick butt on "too" many occasions, but it is necessary.

I would think they would first to a full assessment of your Mom's current status and abilities, determine a plan of action, review it with you and her, then proceed in a professional manner.

You may wish to look into other provider options for your Mom and definitley check into the Medicare excuse.

I find it really hard to turn in bed. I wear only underpants and a tank top, too much cotton clothes on cotton sheets make me feel even more stuck like "velcroed" there. I use only satin fitted sheets. Some people have complained they "slide" right out of bed, but they make it possible for me to turn more easily without interference. They kinda make my bed look like a bordello or similar ( and colors they come in! I have Gold on bed right now. It's kinda funny), if I sit on edge of bed they are really slippery and I can imagine slipping right off if I had less upper body strength and awareness, but they allow me a little more independence in napping and bed. I get showers infrequently. I'm in a chair, have a large roll-in shower and DH helps me transfer to shower chair, but it's still hard and shower is tiled 4x8 room (I'm very lucky to have). But I require DH and often he just doesn't have the time needed.

Satin sheets work for me, but they really are slippery and could prove a danger to other people. They require caution on part of user and may depend on strength of care-taker.

I use a silk pillowcase, hair stays better and I think it really is good for preventing some face wrinkling.

Satin sheets may not be answer for mom, but maybe a Sateen cotton style or polished type sheet might help. A silky finished nightgown? I find I slide better in nylon undies (I once only would wear cotton). Experiment. Nylon undies and new sheet can mean I REALLY glide. WWWHHHEEE-Whoa!!!!!

Yo! Kicker! Wayyyyyy too much information there. ;D

I too dont wear pj pants to bed. if I wear panties I find they bunch and what not or dig into my leg, so I prefer a short nightie that I can lift to not interfer with my roll over. I find cotton clothes make me feel stuck to the sheets as well. I dont want effort when I want to roll over, I just want to do it without thinking about it.

For my mom I tied a rope to the bed frame, and draped it across the bed. she can now pull on the rope with her arms to help her scoot to where she needs and wants to be in the bed. She loved the cheap idea. Her arms are much stronger than her legs.

You did the right thing to speak to the nurse manager even if she wont share info with you, it can be shared with her. Good luck.

I find being handicapped I'm always looking for ways to compensate. Craig, TMI!!! You obviously aren't reading Brazilian Waxing threads or Bra Threads. Being a woman is, like, so complicated! DH (who I must rely on so much now) sometimes is just so mind boggled by the female way. Shoes! How I miss my heels and more complicated ones. And bras that really do do stuff. Bordello sheets and bed turning are just the tip of the iceberg. 8-O

First of all, I am sorry for you frustration, Doydie and hope a solution pops up to help you and Mom.

Second of all.... @ Kicker and Craig.

Talked with the director today. Apparently there have been severe cutbacks on physical therapists and what with Mom going down hill, Marty has helped her reach her optimum. This lady says they like to teach the family how to do the treatments but my sister and I can't do them. The other option would be private pay but all the families are financially supplementing her income just so she can stay where she is and the facilty isn't charging her yet for the assisted living fee. She has been living there for over 6 years as independent living. She is going to be able to keep the same nurse that she loves and is hard core. If Mom
isn't feeling well, she picks up her cell phone and says 'are you calling your doctor or am I?'

She was successfull in putting her own pain patch on yesterday so that was a positive step.

That is good news! I am so happy you made headway. Sometimes its hard to get simple information. Your mom is lucky to have you.

I do read posts each day and I found this one. I took care of both my parents during their decline and deaths. I had home care and hospice, nursing, extra help, it still came down to me and how I could help my parents. I did have to make my mother take a shower. I am sorry to go just a bit against the grain. Older folks as a rule do not like to take showers at all. I understand this from their view point, and it is very upsetting to them It still can be done with a minimum of fuss. Being clean, especially where your older parent may not reach is important. Smelling clean, keeps people close and hugging more too. The parent usually feels better when all is said and done. I made it a routine, and their objection lessoned. Parents can be stubborn too. Good luck with your caregiving. It is one of those things like raising your kids. A very hard job. Families need each other alot. ginnie