As a paramedic nurse we usually suspected that the bone in the hip would be so fragile it would break causing the fall, not the fall causing the break.

Hugs to mom and yourself. Please let us know.

Hugs to you and your mom. Perhaps some of this explains her recent decline and the pain that she has been in. I hope that you get some answers soon and that she will come through this OK.

Doydie,

As said already, this is a lot to deal with for an 86 year old. I know you are very concerned waiting for the surgical report. This is a lot for you to deal with also.

You both are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us informed.

Doydie - Keeping you and your mom in my prayers. Please let us know the outcome.

Doydie, thinking about you and your Dear Mom.

I haven't checked in tonight. I am very grateful for such caring people here and on face book that don't even know me. I mainly keep in touch through all this on face book because most of my family can keep in touch.

OK, so how is she. Her surgical pain is being well controlled with Lortab. But she has these severe spasms in her groin and crotch area where a lot of her pain was before surgery. In my 30 years of nursing I never saw any spasms of pain as hard as she has had. Only Dilaudid IV has taken care of them.

Today my DH,SS and I toured 4 nursing homes. We do have an actual rehab center here but they do 3 hours twice a day of therapy. Mom can't do that. Mom has said for years that us kids should never hesitate putting her in a nursing home when the time came. Then she saw my mother in laws room. Her tune changed a little bit. Our favorite place accepts only Medicare and not Medicaid. She is not on Medicaid, yet.

Our conference with the oncologist is at 6:30 tonight. She had a CT scan of the chest today to look into the density in one of her lungs

My prayers are still with you and your Mom, Doydie.

The oncologist talked to us tonight. It was a huge surprise when he told us she had stage 4 KIDNEY cancer. We were prepared for the stage 4 report and I knew they needed to find the primary site. It has spread to several area in the bones including a couple of small pelvic fractures and the liver. The lungs are OK. He gave us 3 options. #s 1 and 2 were either a pill or IV that would cost about $3000/month and give a life expectancy of an average 11 months. The 3rd option was to do nothing and it's life expectancy was an average of 8 months. So for $3000/month she may get 3 more months of life. So we will start with the standard 3 weeks of therapy for the hip repair and go from there. She says she is ready to go yet she isn't ready to talk about hospice. She thinks she is going to have 3 weeks of therapy and go back to her life of 4 months ago.

To me I just don't know how my sister and I can do hospice. My sister has had to use a wh/ch to get to my Moms room at the hosptial but she says she is willing to stay 8 hours a day with her to care for her.

hospice is amazing! the nurses are so caring, so helpful and willing to educate you and hand hold the entire family thru whatever lays ahead.

I am sorry for that diagnosis. if I can help in any way, please write me.

I am also sorry about the dx. I went through lung cancer with my Grandma just 2 years ago and know what you are going through. We also got the dx in the hospital after Grandma broke her hip. We tried a round of chemo for Grandma, but she just didn't respond well and I think it did more harm than good. The particular chemo they gave her affected her ability to swallow and things just went downhill from there. I have often questioned that decision. If you want to talk more, you can PM me.

I agree with Deb that hospice is an amazing service. Just so you know, hospice can be done even if she is in a nursing home. The hospice people just take over the meds and supplement the nursing home care. All meds through hospice are free and they advocate for the patient. If it is 1 AM and your mom is in pain, the nursing home isn't going to be able to do anything, but hospice will. I seriously had a hospice nurse on the phone at 1 AM who had their doc on the other line ordering new pain meds for Grandma and then having them dispensed and delivered from a special 24 hour pharmacy.

Perhaps your mom just doesn't know that hospice isn't just for the very end stage. There are people who have hospice care for years and who are not bedridden. I think if you talked to someone from a local hospice, you could show her the benefits.