for those that remember, he is in a bad relationship with a woman that is quite clearly verbally and emotionally abusive. The last time they fell apart she burned all of his stuff in a back yard bonfire with her new b/f. After new b/f got aggressive and left her holding the bag for a bunch of bills, she called DS and begged his forgiveness. He is so stuck on her, and he went roaming back full of hope and love.

She announced yesterday as he handed her a diamond pendant that "I dont want to celebrate Valentines day anymore with you. If I loved you I would, but since I dont, keep your cheap knock off" What she didnt know was that its real. So, after losing yet another job because she calls 40xs a day to see if he is working with another woman, he is devestated. I havent seen him in months because she has made it clear that he isnt allowed to see his family because we are all stupid and out to get her.

I want so badly for this bright, wonderful young man to wake up and understand that no matter what he does, nor how he does it, nor how fast he does it, she isnt going to love him. I have asked him to just stay here for a while and get his head on.

Say a little prayer for this young man. I hope this is the day he picks himself up and decides he wants better. Why do we allow others to behave so badly in the name of love? How is it that we can someone we want to love us to cut us to shreds?

Happy Valentines day! At least he is free for now.

Bless his heart. I really hope he'll stay home for a while and get her out of his system. She sounds like a piece of work (as my dad used to say about people he didn't like). It's so hard to watch as our kids make the same mistakes over and over again. I'll say a prayer for him.

The problem is that its HIS lesson, and I cant learn it for him. I can guide him, and advise him, but I cant learn it for him. I think we all have that one special someone in our past that dumped on us, made us miserable and caused us to learn a painful lesson. This is his. I have pointed out many road signs, and provided rest stops and guidance along the way, but I cannot force him to hear me.

He is sooooo close to being able to see this girl for who and what she really is. Its still hard to watch him with a broken heart. I wish there was a local girl that I could introduce him to. Altho I dont think dating is a good idea. I think building his own foundation is what he needs. You cant be good with anyone else if you are a mess.

Sigh. its hard to watch.

I totally understand what you're going through . Last summer my oldest (he's 23) son's girlfriend decided that they needed to take 'a break'. During that break she hooked up with a lifelong, so-called friend of my son's . We later found out that this relationship started BEFORE they were 'on a break'.

My son didn't find out about this until he was already back together with the girl. He forgave her almost instantaneously and they stayed together until about a month ago. SHE broke up with him AGAIN. He won't talk about it with anyone except to tell his brother that he would take her back in heart beat .

Thankfully, I've kept my mouth shut, which is really hard for me , because I know that my son will be angry with me and not her. I just really hope she stays away this time.

I know it's hard and I know it hurts......and I am so glad that I don't have to deal with that anymore. Not for my kids but for me. I just don't have the emotional energy for it anymore. And drama just makes my head spin. Never in a million years did I think I'd enjoy my solitude but I do.

DAngit! his g/f sent him a text while we were out getting something to eat, and he broke into tears, and went outside. I gave him a few, and followed him. He told me how much he loves her and really wants to make it work. She texted him about "where are you? your g/fs?" he was so broken, and said he didnt know what he could do to convince her that he doesnt/wont cheat on her. After a long talk with him, he became so upset that he chose to return to her apartment for when she gets home from work. He said he wants to "confront her" well, you and I both know that doesnt work. I tried to get him to at least stay one night and rest, but he was so agitated he chose to leave.

Grrrr....makes me wanna slap someone!

Call from DS said he is on his way back. I asked what happened, and he replied that she was expecting him, and handed him his things. He heard talking behind her, and yet again another man is sitting on his spot on the couch, watching his TV, drinking his beer. He broke down in sobs and said he didnt know if he could survive this again. I told him to just come home. Good food, furry cats, and loads of time and space to chill and figure it all out.

I really have serious doubts about this womans sanity, since she is quick to throw him out and move others in.

DH plans on talking to him tomorrow. They will go out ice fishing and figure it out.

Poor DS. No wonder she is always accusing him of cheating, I mean if she is that quick to bring another man into his house you have to wonder how long she has been keeping this guy a secret. But, you are right. You cannot learn theor lessons for them or force them to see the light, you can only offer a shoulder and maybe a beer.

I am so not looking forward to these days with my girls. And I realize now that even to this day I still do this to my poor mother. When the whole world caved in around me, it was my mom that pulled me out of my own pity pool.

I will say i was having a sucky day until DD came home and she helped me cook dinner and then we made chocolate chip cup cakes. Now I feel better. Sometimes we just need our family.

Sounds like she stopped aging emotionally when she was a pre-teen. Old enough to start being interested in boys, but with the attention span of a turnip. Also the age where everything makes them mad because "they know everything".

My niece is 12, and she changes her mind constantly on who/what she likes. She'll be in love with some actor/singer/cute kid at school, but if something even cuter walks by she's like "Oooo...shiny..." distracted and drops whatever obsession she was on to look at new cute thing. Then after a bit, she goes back to a previous obsession.

Wonder what happened in that girl's life that made her stop aging emotionally like that. Bet she's from a broken home, or was abused and doesnt realize that not every one is like that.

DS is home. he looks exhausted and mentally spent. He wanted to start machine gunning plans while here and I said NO! just play with dad and go have fun. no worries. Plenty of food, plenty of rest and some time will be more helpful than 20 plans. Just take 3 days and let go. Then after 3 days if you still want to make plans, thats fine.

Its hard to see them so broken. I tried to explain that this girl has a guilty conscious is why she constantly accuses him. Her last 4 relationships ended because she was caught cheating. DS is the only one who allowed her to come back after the cheat ended badly. I keep explaining that even tho you are a good guy, it doesnt mean that she can see it. Some folks are blinded by their own bad behaviors and it has nothing to do with how good or bad you are. its HER issue and she will have to heal it.

At least he is home and this silly ding dang day is dead! im off to bed.