yes Sally, she is very lucky!

HS (thank goodness) is hopefully just 3-4 years out of many. DS and DD are just walking on and continuing their lives. DD's friend told me there's no one left in town she really likes (except DD of course). In HS her mom offered $500 for every A she got. She made sure she got none. I told my two to not expect anything and they made honor role. When grades slipped, etc., I always told my kids that grades were not the yardstick I used to measure success. That I LIKED who they were and that was the important part. Maybe that lack of pressure made them put their own pressure on themselves. They are tougher on themselves then I could have been. Graduation is just one day, it's the million other days that count.

Hurumph Kicker!! How unfair of you to be so fair and what undue pressure that fairness put on your Kids..

My son did not walk with his graduating class, even tho he graduated with them. He was in a bit of trouble, and I had him moved to a special school to help him catch up. His old school offered to let him walk with the crowd, but after a long discussion we chose to have him walk with the small special group. It was a long hard 7 months for him to catch up to where his mates were, and by the time he got that diploma he didnt care about standing beside those kids anymore. He simply was happy to have his degree. The high school he went to matched the degree from the special classes and turned it into a real diploma from his old school, so that it wouldnt say "special ed school HS" on it. He did appreciate that.

My kids did receive an allowance, but like in real life if they did a poor job, it was reflected in their allowance, or their freedoms. My son needed a hard line and you had to be firm with him all day, everyday. My DD on the other hand held herself to a higher standard. She was always willing to give her 10% to charity and 10% to savings first, while DS moaned about it never being enough and was full of tales about what the other kids had or were doing. About the time he ran into real trouble in school and knew he was either going to be transferred or held back he changed his attitude. He did alot of growing up in a hurry.

Its hard to be apart from your friends during a special event. Whether thats a prom, or reunion, or graduation, but we are each on separate paths and its work to make your path meet up with everyone elses if that is your goal. Whether thru disease, failing grades, trouble with the law, or family situations that drag you away just at the wrong time. Life is a series of compromises and adjustments. It sounds like your kid has a strong momma to help her thru it all. Im proud of both of you.