Not every backwoods town is like that, Dej. I don't know why all the churches in your town are struggling, and I'm sorry to hear that you're not able to connect with a congregation that meets your needs.

I don't know if there is an overall comparison between churches in the north and the south. I have brothers and sisters in Christ in both areas. Once again, I'm generalizing, but I do think that people in New England are more apt to be concerned for someone's privacy, more apt to say "Let's make sure she really wants our help and doesn't think we're just interfering."

I've had folks in both the north AND south say "Nobody in the church cares if I live or die" and I've also heard "I wish they'd leave me alone, they're always wanting to come do my dishes or something, I don't want a bunch of people over here all the time." I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all. We're all humans, all imperfect, and sometimes yes, it feels as though you can't win. On both sides.

I think part of it is that so many people juggle work, school, kids, home and the rest.

When I was a SAHM, I volunteered for everything. I love helping folks but you know how those spoons are, lol.

I still do some volunteer work for my church but it is only 2-3 times a year. I don't even have time to do for myself, let alone for others but I would love to do so. The lady across the street from me has cancer and she has teenaged kids so help her. If she were alone, I would find the time to help or send DH or my son over to help her. I know my own limits, however.

My mom was a helper to all, her neighbors or strangers, anyone who needed a hand, and she didn't belong to a church. My dad helped too at times. He found a home for a local orphan once, and helped to connect the young girl with a local wealthy family. He was proud of that because the girl was adored and educated and loved so much and taken out of bad circumstances.

I hope that when I retire in 20 years or so I'll be able to do a lot of good for many people and live to an old age to do so.

I don't atten church any longer, but back when I was having emotional problems, our church had people bringing food over every day...it is a large parish.
Now, though, the founding pastor is gone, and so too is the reaching out...they're more and more about rules. I'm outta there...

I am the right reverend of the first church of me! I approve of my behavior!

I have decided to NOT go back to church. I will volunteer at places like the food bank, the old folks home, the homeless shelter, and give my money to starving kids right here in my own neighborhood, forget ones that are over seas. I will have the First Church of Dejibo. I think it shall be pagan based, with some Christian leanings. We will throw in some Jewish traditions, and maybe some euranchia (sp) book for good measure. its all about ME and MY path to God and heaven.

Im so tired of others disappointing me. I think its time to refill MY cup.

Thank you for letting me work this all out in my head. Its a twisted neighborhood up there, and I wont go in at night without a knife.

I have lived my whole life in New England. I think you are just in the wrong
place.

If someone here needs help....we have a great community. People bring
food , take care of the kids, run errands....you name it. I have been
on the receiving end of this too.

Sometimes I dont know how some of them do it. They work full time,
volunteer and are there on your doorstep before you know it. I am blessed
and thankful.

Sorry you are unable to find this where you are living now.