Vikki, that was beautifully said.

Dej
She had no right, no one had any right and that little girl only deserved love and the best.

As a child, I found my world confusing. I simply wanted to fit in with my momma, but knew she was asking me to do bad things.

As a teenager I knew other kids didnt live the way we lived. I was embarrassed by them and their antics. I was ridiculed for them and about them. No one wants to be the friend of the daughter of the woman who is the whore at work. eeek! no one wants to be caught seen with the weird family.

As a grown woman I learned better, and therefore I did better. I chose better, I desired better. I craved better, and i figured out I deserved better. it took me years to realize that something was mentally wrong with my mother. it explained so much and gave me an excuse to hang onto to be able to forgive her actions, and inappropriate behaviors.

As an adult woman I simply dont have to do this anymore. I am a loved, respected member of my community, my profession, my church, my friends, and my loved ones. The only one in this life who cant see me for who I am is my mother. Thats really sad.

I do wonder how I became half the woman I am. Why did I not stay in the back woods and lead the same life my sis leads? Why did I not become a drug addicted, shoplifting, social service hog?

I really am good with my choice. I sent my mother away with love. I really do hope the best for her, and pray good things go her way. I wish her much more love and respect be given to her than she has given to others. I pray she is treated with kindess, and respect and decency. I dont think those are things she has treated herself to, and therefore has not allowed them in her door very often. I pray she finds them, but it wont be by my hand. Im tired, im out of spoons, and she will have to carry herself to the river for water.

((((HUGS)))) Dej..no advice, just know I am thinking of you.