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Old 07-14-2011, 11:11 AM #1
Earl Earl is offline
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Default Ok, I'm in a really bad place right now

***first and foremost I do not want pity, this is not a pity party, it's just how I feel***

I'm in a bad place. Times are REALLY rough for me right now. It seems like nothing is going right. ANYWHERE in my life, except for family and Laura.

Laura has been out of work for 3 months and can't find a job. She surfs the job websites for hours every day. She can't hit the streets much because it's $50.00 to fill her tank and we can't afford the gas.

I'm really about to drop Facebook entirely. I noticed about a month ago that people didn't really reply to my posts, and I reply to almost everybody else's. Starting today I won't post a single ting on FB, I won't reply to ANYONES posts (except prayer requests) for 30 days, I will see if anyone notices I'm gone. I have like 94 "friends" and nobody IM's (chats) with me. Google has a new site, I'll open another thread about that, maybe that will be better.

Only TWO of my friends call me on a semi-regular basis. MANY friends haven't called me in months. I know everyone has busy lives but don't they ever say to themselves "I wonder how Dave is doing" They know I suffer with pain, I would think they would call or send an email. I am tired of being the only one to reach out. So I'm not doing it anymore.

Money is SO tight. I can't even afford to pay attention. our $199.00 in food stamps doesn't feed us an entire month.

Pain level wont let up. I cant' get out much at all with triple digits on the thermometer, that's no surprise, I don't go many places during the summer anyway BUT I'D LIKE TO BE INVITED!!!!!!

I've only just realized how many friends , some from church, from other places, have NEVER invited me to their homes for dinner. People used to do that. What has happened to America?

I even posted a short rant like this on April 15th in notes on my FB page and only 4 people replied. OUT OF 114 at that time!!!. I know I have a fantastic family who loves me more than many families do. I am very blessed in many areas of my life. Because of a frugal and loving grandmother I don't have to worry about my home, it's paid for. I don't have many bills which is good, because I'm so broke.

I'm sorry for this rant. I really don't want replies saying you are sorry or anything like that. This is a rant and, I guess, a pity party. I'll get over it... just don't know how many bodies I will leave in my wake afterward.

I am thankful for you, my Stumble Inn friends, you are always there. I just REALLY wish my friends IRL would be there. I honestly think if I lived alone, and my family was not included, I could lay dead in my house and would not be found for MONTHS! It's just a very lonely feeling.

Again, sorry for the rant.
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Old 07-14-2011, 11:33 AM #2
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I can relate to how you feel, Dave. Since I've become "homebound" for the most part it's usually me that does the reaching out. One of my closest friends (I thought) hasn't contacted me in over two months. I know she's busy and her job takes up much of her time. But just a short call to say "I'm thinking of you" would just make my day.

I know I'm more sensitive about these things since I've been home. More time to think about it, I guess. But I know exactly what you're saying. I know I wouldn't accept numerous invitations to go out or do things - especially in the evenings - but it's nice to know folks are at least thinking of you. I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, people!

That's why I love this place, too. I don't feel like I have to explain myself or offer excuses as to why I "can't" today.

Plus, money problems seem to magnify any other distressful feelings. Money is always an issue for me. I don't like it but I am very grateful for what I do have as I know you are, too.
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Old 07-14-2011, 11:54 AM #3
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preaching to the choir! I have recently cut off soooo many friends or so called friends from FB. All they wanted was a farmville neighbor or some one to read their blog and add votes to it. You have seen my family drama lately and I have cut them off! I have cut off some neighbors after them using me like a property manager while they run off to their winter homes. My circle gets smaller and smaller.

The best you can do is weed your garden my dear. those weeds for friends that simply want to choke the life out of your healthy plants, need to be pulled up by the roots. Who cares if you only have 10 on your friends list, as long as they are friends who care, listen, or can give and take? Why do we need hundreds of folks on our list anyway?

I love a good rant. Come sit by me and lets stomp and scream.
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Old 07-14-2011, 12:01 PM #4
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I hear Ya, Dave and am sort of in the same friendship boat, IRL not FB. I only do Family on FB and that is only so I can see what they are doing and thus not feel so estranged. My DD suggested it, when I told her, I felt so left out. I'm so glad I did it.

My immediate family is very caring and attentive....not so much, the outlaws and cousins, but FB has even brought some of them closer.

As far as 200 of my closest FB friends...foughettaboudit.. Most of these peeps just add you as a friend so they can see how many friends they can add to their list, not because they are your true friend. Heck, even some of my family ignore me on FB (if I let 'em..lol)

Most of my friends are right here and this is my home away from home. The attention and love I get here is the best.

I am so sorry for your financial woes. If I were filthy rich, I'd help all of you who are struggling with that, so you could enjoy life a little more. *Damned expensive disease*

Bless you Dave..
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Old 07-14-2011, 12:02 PM #5
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One thing I've learned about FB is that most people like to talk about themselves. They want the audience and like the feeling of folks logging in to see how they are doing and what they have to say. Some of the profiles I've looked at that allow me to view their wall are very self-centered. Well, I guess that's the whole point of FB but I know what you mean about comments you make being ignored. My problem with that is that it's my family that's doing the ignoring! I think if more people realized that the sun doesn't rise and set on them the whole world would be a better place. Whatever happened to the Golden Rule? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Seems one-sided sometimes to me.
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Old 07-14-2011, 01:17 PM #6
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I like other stuff better than FB. On Trivia I get to "see" Sally and others and love the comments and don't care when I don't do so good. Here I see the same crew and some more. It feels more real and friendly. Google+ looks like FB 2.0 to me.
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Old 07-14-2011, 02:01 PM #7
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My house was broken into almost one year ago. I posted about it on Facebook. Since then the people that did the deed have been harassing me and also live next door to me. I had posted about certain things on Facebook to let a few of my family know what was going on and as a sorta release for the stress. I actually had a so called friend say she didn't understand why I was posting such stuff and did not understand where I was coming from. I stopped posting. No one asked how I was doing. Guess what. They are not my friends any more. I have gone thru one of the worst years in my life and they were not there. They did not care. So they could not possibly be my friend could they? So weed out the ones that don't care and don't let the added stress take a toll on your life.
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Old 07-14-2011, 03:05 PM #8
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Hi Earl. That was an excellent rant!!!

I deactivated my FB account back in March and haven't missed it at all--have a 2nd FB account in maiden name and have Dejibo and two others as friends--that's it. Had great nephews/nieces/nephew/nieces etc. on one I deactivated and hell, they haven't said a thing about my being gone and they have my phone number! My husband, neighbors and Dejibo are closer to me than my flesh and blood, and though it is the opposite with you, it resembles the same thing.

I hate what MS does to so many, it really upsets me the way some people behave (John Lennon said, Humanity I love...it's people I can't stand), I'm appreciative of a place like the stumble inn where we can rant and people "get it".

You will be in my prayers. I can't imagine living with constant pain

Vikki
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Old 07-14-2011, 03:19 PM #9
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As Dej said "you're preaching to the choir" Dave. People seem to forget about you or can't deal with illness. It's easier for them to just ignore us. Like my brother .

I hardly ever post on FB. There are many friend 'collectors' on there. Honestly, I don't want to read apost that says something like "I just brushed my teeth" . Gimme a break!
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Old 07-14-2011, 04:24 PM #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joellelee2000 View Post

I hardly ever post on FB. There are many frown 'collectors' on there. Honestly, I don't want to read a post that says something like "I just brushed my teeth" . Gimme a break!
Oops, I posted I need a root canal on FB this week. Joelle was !


Earl, I think many of us can relate to losing friends. My circle of friends seems to be shrinking too. I have four siblings and only my youngest sister calls on a regular basis just to chat. I never hear from my brothers and only occasionally from my older sister. I think they are all (with exception of my youngest sister) afraid that I might need help at some point in the future and do not want to be responsible.
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