Thankfully, she has never hit him, or thrown things at him, but she does have a very abusive mouth, and she is quite the money bully. All he ever wanted was for her to love him, and all she ever wanted was a house husband with a paycheck. He said she screams and become quite violent in temper if a girl talks to him while pumping gas, but yet she is dragging home men to sleep with now!

I have said from the begining this girl aint right. There is something wrong with her. She has been divorced 3 times, and there is strange stories about some kids that live with another man who had them taken away, but no one has ever seen proof of that. She denies having any kids. All I know is that when he is with her, she isolates him from his friends and family and that is the first move an abuser does. He isnt allowed to talk to me more than once every two weeks or he is called a momma's boy. and he wasnt even allowed to call me when I was in the hospital. So, she is a messed up girl. Once upon a time I had some hope, but the first time she dragged home another boy I knew it was a deal breaker for me.

Thank God there are no children involved. What a mess that would be to have to be chained to her for the next 21 years. ick!

Is he Christian/religious/a believer? I have several books that tie in The Bible and spiritual healing in situations like his I would be willing to share, even send him from my library.

If not, there are many other places that can help him. Please understand this is a loss, he needs to be guided through the 5 stages of grief,

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression and
Acceptance.

It's not just for when someone dies, it's for all part of life to which there is a loss.

He called me to tell me that he is still talking to her. He wont be coming to NH tonight. He said she is crying and lying but also telling him things that make sense, like she doesnt want to accept the room mate he found (her sister) because she is a drinker and they have lived together in the past and fought (picture me and my sis) so since she refuses his room mate that he found, legally he IS still on the hook. He called the landlord and the landlord agreed that if she refuses his choice, the landlord WILL chase him for rent.

it all got tangled past that, and his father offered him 2 weeks worth of work that would give him enough money to buy him that truck he is looking at. He said he will probably live at dads house for 2 weeks while trying to negotiate with her on a new roommate. He also said he knows she isnt capable of behaving herself as she has promised to do while he finds a replacement renter, and the landlord promised him that if she became violent or reverts to her shouting, abusive rants, that BOTH of them would be released (evicted) from the apartment.

Im torn. It is the right thing to do, to NOT walk away from his obligation to that lease. It is the right thing to do to NOT sleep in that apartment while he hunts. It is the right thing to do to work it out with her, even if she is a bit more than nuts. but part of me wants to just have him drop and run.

I will have to let him tie up the strings of what he untied and earn his way out. It may be 2 days or 2 weeks before he finds someone. If she refuses all that he finds in the next two weeks, the landlord says he will see that as manipulative and force her to either accept a replacement or take on the lease for herself.

He had the cable/phone/internet/light/water/power put in HER name. He owes money on those bills, and will have to work to pay off what he owes. He sold his wrecked truck for scrap value today and is doing other things to get enough money to close the door behind him when he leaves, instead of allowing it to swing open like an old barn door.

Im so proud, yet so worried, yet so leary, yet so fed up...make sense? I spoke to his dad and he has agreed to let him stay in his old room (not on the couch this time) for up to one month. His wife really gives this kid a hard time, so I know he cant stay there but at least its rent free space till he can work his way out of the hole he dug.

For those that dont know my son is 2 states away, so he cant just jump in the truck and come visit or even come here and take care of his business there. if he is interviewing roommates he needs to do it in person. The land lord is also looking as well. g/f is ANGRY! she doesnt want to live with a stranger, so she feels as if she is being "put in danger" I suggest she find someone before they do.

Thanks for the prayers and well wishes.

Hey Dej, those book titles I sent you would be great for you to read too. They'll help you to help him :hug:.

As, I think, you know emotional and verbal abuse take much longer to heal from than a punch in the mouth. :hug:

my sons ex is now doing crazy things like sending him text messages that say "im afraid you are going to break in here at night and hurt me again." WHAT???!!! :eek: He never hurt her in the first place! I advised him to NOT respond to such statement. Just ignore them, for she can manipulate his answers, and it wont be worth it. Just ignore her. The fuel pump went out on her truck and he has agreed to fix it for her since its her only way to get back and forth to work. Paycheck time rolled around and all of a sudden she was his friend, and wanted to be nice, and talk and come on over for a drink. He said NO WAY! So, she and her sis showed up at his dads place, sloppy and pushy trying to get him to give up money. Saying they were going to sue him...

DS was ready to go, and got a court summons. LAst november he did a donut in the parking lot of the city park. The police claim he ruined some flower beds when he kicked up gravel. Gave him a ticket, and a fine. He assumed that she had paid off the fine from his paychecks that she had. She didnt pay a penny, so the court said "pay up NOW! or accept probation" what choice did he have? He accepted probation. He talks today to the probation officer to see if he can get his case transferred to NH and how long it will take. I REFUSED to pay this fine for him. He already accepted the courts decision, and even if I stepped forward with money, it would be too late to save him from probation anyway. So, let him clean up his own mess.

He is telling the probation office today his plan to move here. Clean up his life, get away from ex, start a new job, and that he has already given notice at old job. Rumor has it that it can take up to 45 days to transfer probation from one state to the next. As soon as the fine is paid, probation will end, but till then, he will have to check in. I told him its his own fault. #1 for causing the damage, #2 for not making sure the fine was paid, and #3 for giving excuses instead of action. so...yet another thing has jumped in his path.

My DH said that most men are really quite silly when it comes to women, and they will allow a lot of bad behavior. Then he told me tales of his first true love and how she abused him. Made me really angry to think this girl took such a nice guy and treated him so badly. A guy who will hold your hand thru MS, breast cancer, adoption, Celiac of a child and going gluten free for her, and walking with me every morn even tho it slows him down? This is not a selfish man, and she treated him like he was a jerk. Really made me sad. He said he feels bad for the kid because it mirrors where he was all those years ago. Sheesh! scary.

It sounds like your son is caught in the "cylce of abuse" with this sociopath. It's very hard to break free.

If he seriously wants to be free he has to iniate a "no contact" rule with her. None. Nada. No texts, emails etc. He can block her numberr from his cell and change to different email account. He just has to see the light or he won't be able to do this. Thank God he didn' t marry her!! I'll be praying for you all :hug:.