well, many of you have followed the saga of my DS and this sticky head girl he keeps getting tangled with. She keeps cheating on him, and he keeps coming home to find strange men in the house and his bed being given over to someone new. He keeps professing his love for this girl, and hold out hope on how they can work it out. They broke it off more than six months ago, and he was doing fine until...

he had a horrible truck accident and it completely trashed it. smashed to bits. no insurance, so he cant move on to the next car. He knew to get to work he needed to take 3 buses to get to work. The bus didnt leave his town till 7am, and he had to be at work at 6am. This wasnt going to work. no one would wake up early to take him, so he called sticky head. She was once again being evicted from her apartment and needed a new place to live. They agreed as friends to share a place (picture me rolling my eyes ) They would each have their own room, and neither would bring home over night guests. They would try to work it out as friends, and she would drop him at work in the AM and pick him up in the PM till he got a paycheck or two under him and he could buy a junker to fix and drive. Well, each pay day comes and so does Ms Greedy. She sticks her hand out and takes the WHOLE check! of course, he lets her!

This has gone on for a month now. 2x a week she brings home different men and he can hear them in her bedroom doing unspeakable things. He said its ripping his heart out. He still held out hope that she had missed him, she would have him under her roof and declare how much she suffered without him. It didnt happen that way. She took him for every penny, and now he is quite broke, carless, and doesnt have enough money to buy a tank of gas, let alone a car to put it in.

The job he was working is a temp agency and they told him at 6 months they would hire him full time, give him benefits, and take him on as part of their team. July 1 was his six month line. July 5 the company was about to sign him over, but they were bought by a japanese company and it was decided to string the kid along until they could get their own employees in place. Today he pushed for better answers and was told they wouldnt keep him.

He called me quite upset, hurt, and beaten and said "mom, I give up. Can I come home?" What do you say to that?! Of course! So he is headed my way tomorrow. While I am glad it will get him away from this horrible woman of the past 3 years, I am also upset for him that he feels unloved, unwanted, and is jobless, carless, creditless, and penniless thanks to the antics of this money bully.

Anyone else have an adult child return?

I think I heard that statistics show about one in four children return to the "nest" at least once in their 20's. DD is home going to massage school. College was not a good environment and then she was working in the next city over but I was not fond of her friends.

I was able to convince her to come home and push the "restart" button. Much better environment and she was on a mission to get the school to hire her by making herself indispensable. She has been determined and was offered a front desk job last night.

I hope your son can find his restart button and find something that gives him value.

DD was at a low place until she found this healing institute where others value her each and every day.

Yes, my son returned home about five years ago. He was heartbroken that his girlfriend, which he waited for 2 more years of high school, moved him out of town, and eight months later said she didn't love him anymore. He called one night about 10:30 crying that she didn't love him anymore and was moving out. He was devestated. Went into a depression, lost his job, of seven years. We went up and moved him home. He still doesn't trust any girls, he has dated some, but won't let it get serious. It was hard, but he got his old job back here, and seems to be happier than ever. I hope he finds someone one of these days, that he deserves.
After he moved back, my husband found out two months later, he had cancer, so he has been a great help to us.
I think he'll spread his wings one of these days again!

Glad to hear he is going backhome and away from that stupid girl. Hoping he learns this time.

My oldest son moved back home when he and his girlfriend broke up. This was three years ago. He's moved again...this time with his current gf. He seems much happier.

Both my boys know they always have a place to come back to. I liked it when oldest DS was here before because he parked his police car in the driveway and I just felt like that was sort of a built in security system.

It was an adjustment because I didn't know how messy he had become. We had to have a little talk about that but he kept his room clean. He was hardly ever here between working his full-time job and all the part-time jobs he took......security at the arena during concerts, HS ball games, etc.

It's funny how accustomed we get to our daily routine. Someone moving in can really cause a rift in that. I was also surprised at how much like my own mother I was sounding!

I never left. Stayed home to help my dad with my mom. (she had a TBI when she was 17, and it took a few years for some of the more bothersome results of that to show up) Then I was taking classes and kind of thinking of escaping my parents house...my MS showed up and now I'm kind of stuck here.

Yes, my DD came home. She had finished grad school, was engaged, was all set to settle in the college town. 5 weeks before the wedding, bf called it off. It was all I could do to keep from jumping in my car. DH got me sane again. DH drove up, packed her up and brought her back. She was able to transfer her job, and that helped. I guess she was home about 1 1/2 years, met a guy, moved in and took her 2 dogs too. He is now my SIL. Stuff happens, you can only hope all works out well.

My kids don't move back home, they just keep moving their junk home.

When DD#2 had to quit college because she was only living there and not taking classes she moved home to get a job. I thought I was doing tough love by setting some pretty stiff rules which didn't help this kid who didn't know where she was going. All she knew was that she reached out to her parents. So I kind of drove her to living with this guy. She tried to make it look like she was living at home and 'staying at girl friends house at times'. So now she is married to this guy, only one working so she can put him through college. He is barely passing and has great aspirations of which I don't see how any of them cn work out. They broke up and she moved back home but then got back together. So here she is, working her butt off trying to makes bills and he is still not working, going to school only when he feels like getting up in the morning. I try to tell him that being a social worker is a wonderful aspiration but he needs a Masters and he can't even get an associate yet. But she is still my daughter and I will do anything I can do to help her. In an odd way we still love him to. He was given a terrible childhood and I feel if they ever broke up that I would still have an extra child.

WOW! you guys made me feel so much better. I know our job is to give them roots to be firmly planted, and then give them wings and teach them to fly. I felt like a bit of a failure. My heart breaks for him and the situation he is in, but at least from THIS home base, he can save money, can afford to eat, will be loved, and directed, and is now so low from being beaten down so much emotionally from this girl, that he is ready to be remolded into a real man, and not just her personal ATM machine. She dragged home a washer/dryer combo last night and he said "WTF?!" I do the laundry and I go one block up the street to do it, WHY do we need this? she went on about how she wasnt living without one. He said "how are YOU going to pay for this?!" and she responded "Oh sweetie, what you dont understand is its in YOUR name I signed for it as YOUR WIFE and WE will pay for it by the week. $50 a week for a washer dryer. He had his friend take him to the store, showed them HIS drivers license and then he had them change the paper work or face the cops coming. They put it in HER UNmarried name without his as a ryder and told them that if they EVER used his name again, he would have them all arrested.

He is coming home quite broken, quite sad, quite broke with zero money, and he used to be quite flush with the world. This girl spend a truck load of money in his name, and went many places claiming to be his wife, and got joint credit. We think we have gotten all of those accounts settled as fraudulent, but it will be easier now that he is willing to prosecute should need be. He said he will leave her $50 on the dresser (treating her like a whore) and this will allow her to not lose her job. She needs gas money to get back and forth till Wednesday but its not enough for cigarettes or candy or a weekend trip that she had hoped for. She saved him from losing his job by taking him back and forth, so he said he is repaying the kindess.

Im going to have my hands full with how broken he is, but perhaps it will make it easier to get him dusted off and back in the right direction.

Thanks for the support. its so nice to know I am not alone.