[Blessings2You]

Sorry if this is an encore of the pity party thread, but that is how I feel this rainish Sunday morning. No, I don't always feel like this, but today I do.

I miss the days when I could look forward to something with no asterisk next to it: *if I feel like it, if there are bathrooms near, if it's accessible, if it's not too hot that day, if it doesn't last too late, if this symptom goes away, if my shoes fit that morning...

...*if I'm feeling up to driving, if there won't be too much commotion, if there is air conditioning, if I can sit near an exit, if I sleep the night before...

...*if I can bow out at the last minute, if I have my wits about me, if it's not raining so I can bring my rollator, if my other medical issues aren't acting up...

Don't mean to be such a wet blanket this morning, but I just can't remember the last time I purely looked forward to something. I don't mean that I worry all the time that something bad is going to happen. It is what it is, and with God's help I'll try to make the best of it.

It's just the reality of MS for me, that nothing is as simple as it used to be, back when I could plan something, actually expect to DO it, and have reasonable expectations of enjoying it.

Okay, I'm done now.

[kicker]

Ah B2Y.
How I hate realizing the things I no longer can do easily. #$%&. I get so p!$$ed at this disease.

[Dejibo]

I miss those days when you could just yell ROAD TRIP and all pile into the car and drive 5 states away without a blink. no matter what season, what temp, or where the bathrooms were. Now I feel like a toddler when we have to go anywhere away from home. Do we have ice water? do we have cooling equipment? do we have time in our route to get out and stretch to get rid of the cramps from sitting? Do we have time to eat a snack so my blood sugar isnt falling? Can I sit at the end of the row, and not be stuck in the middle of the isle? Will I get cog fog so bad that I dont want anyone talking to me? Will I have to hide behind DH and rely on him to do all the work for both of us?

I know exactly what you mean. I want to set up my home and just stay here. I know where my things are. I know when my show is on, and I know my bathroom is clean.

[Blessings2You]

Even the things I enjoy, and end up being able to do, cause me much anxiety. It's not really dread, but it's precious close.

[Kitty]

I totally understand what you mean, B2Y. I miss being spontaneous. Just doing something on the spur of the moment....with no forethought.

Like you, I'm not complaining. Just nostalgic for those days when I didn't have so much "me stuff" to think about.

[Debbie D]

Sometimes I think I use MS as an excuse not to be more involved in life....

[Kitty]

Originally Posted by Debbie D

Sometimes I think I use MS as an excuse not to be more involved in life....

I know I do. I wonder sometimes what I'd do if I had small children.....or maybe an ill spouse that needed caring for.......or elderly parents who needed my help. I guess I'd just do what everybody else does and suck it up and get it done.

[SallyC]

ME Too!! Dam disease...

I hear you Blessings, loud and clear.

I was never one who realished plans, even before MS, but I loved to decide to do something on the spur of the moment, call my buds and say, "let's go"!!!

In my lazy old age and with my anxiety problems, I feel at ease that my MS keeps me raht cher in my comfy little den.

[doydie]

I think we are so tired of this #$%$^^%$# heat that we are just tired

[Blessings2You]

Vermont doesn't have that excuse...