we live on a beautiful lake front street. The folks at the other end assume themselves to have so much money that most rules dont apply to them. One neighbor has a bad habit of inserting herself into EVERYTHING! She believes herself to know fancy people that in real life they wouldnt know her is she spit on them. She assumes to be so well educated, and well bred that hers is the end all be all of information and guidance. She treats DH and I as if we are her help or staff. They winter in SC and while away she thinks nothing of phoning me to say "could you run down and check on the thermostat. we got a low reading on our computer and want to be sure all is well." or "could you wrap our japanese maple the 2nd week of November before the heavy snow?" or thinks we are going to check on her place twice a week the whole winter...HAHAHAAH anyway.

While they are here in the summer my phone never stops! I have her # set to a special ring so I know its her before I look at the caller ID. She called yesterday while I was nursing a headache and screamed into the phone "its raining! my outside cushions are getting wet! run down and take them in, we will be home in 30 mins or so." I FLUNG the phone at DH who DEMANDS that we make nice with these folks and said "its HER! again, she wants someone to run out in the rain to put away OUTSIDE cushions before the rain gets them. YOU TAKE IT"

There is ALWAYS something going on. I was snotty on the phone, so I wrote a quick, "didnt mean to bite your head off, but I was in bed with a h/a and didnt care about any outside cushions getting wet, not even my own, so im sorry but its hard to simply drop what I am doing every time you call." Her response is always to blame her husband (who is a demanding litle man and to plead with me to understand what a bad spot he puts her in, and that "I didnt notice if you did snap at me, but need you to let the dogs out on the 14th. we are going away at 8am, and wont be back till well past 6 so they will need you to feed them supper." THat is how she responds to my letter!

My husband desperatly wants peace. HE said its easier to just shut up, play nice, and soon we will find another house in our dream city, and we will wave so long to them. If folks are scouting our house, they dont want to see a street full of folks that dont talk to each other. They want a street full of friendly folks that are always inviting you down to their dock to fish, boat, or whatever. To be part of the rich life at the end of the street will help sell this house. Make it a war zone and folks will stay away. UGH! I know he is right, but there are days I want to strike this woman and say DONT YOU KNOW I HAVE MS?! NO I dont want to feed your dogs, let your dogs out, watch your house, wrap your tree, sign for your packages, or anything else!

She is constantly telling us about the lobster festival dinners and fireworks dinners and boat parades they are having with the even richer neighbors, and sort of rubs your nose in it, while not realizing we were invited but turned it down! we dont want to soicalize with thieves, or dishonest folks who think themselves above the law because of their last names.

HELP ME! How can I make peace, and not blow my top? I really need to find a way to be nice to this woman, and I am so close to snapping her head off. What say you? Please dont say dont answer the phone, if she sees my car here, she will drive down here, so a phone call is the lesser of two evils. I can get her off the phone, once she arrives at my door I have to chew my arm off to get her out of my house.

Blech, I'm not a social butterfly at all, but what about just "being busy" whenever she calls.
No need to declare war but more of a "Oh I'm sorry, but we just can't do that right now..we're busy."
and just don't respond to any of their requests anymore... maybe if there is a house a fire /emergency or something like that then it would be good to check on
she'll get the hint sooner or later.

I completely agree with Jo*mar. You don't to have a make a big declaration about it or anything, just politely say NO the next time you're asked. You can say you're busy ....or you don't have to provide any excuse or explanation at all ...and you don't have to pick up the phone, either.

There's nothing about your personal relationship with these people that will really help sell your house. The potential buyers will be interested in buying your home, not your friends. And they're not really friends anyway - they're they're just a couple of neighbors who've found an easy-cheap way to get work done around their house at someone else's expense.

they'll keep on taking so long as you keep on giving.

I say "We are busy, sorry" and DH says "we can fit it in, dont worry." so its as much a DH problem as it is a neighbor problem. he is now doing 99.9% of all of the errands, and quick trips they put on the schedule, but it really irks me that this woman treats us like chattle.

If you have your phone set to a special ring for her just ignore it. If DH wants to answer it and do what she asks then let him.

I've found that people like her.....arrogant, look-at-me type people are very insecure and need the approval of others all the time. They act all high and mighty but in reality they're scared of not being accepted. They think they have to show off....be bigger than life, better than you, etc. It's their problem. You choose to react to it. And that's what they want (and need).

Make yourself unavailable to her.....always. You can set your phone to not accept that particular number and they will get a message that says you're busy. Eventually they'll get the message unless they're really that thick and then you'll just have to not answer at all. I'm assuming your phone service has this. If not, just don't answer or turn the ringer off and instruct those you want to hear from what you're doing so they can leave a message or call your cell.

It's inconvenient and really unnecessary that you should have to "hide" in your own home. But.......it doesn't sound like she's going to change her ways so you'll just have to adjust yours.

It would drive me up a wall, too, but if you know you're moving at some point in the future just know it's a temporary aggravation. Good luck!

You REALLY don't need this. I see you're in New Hampshire. Born there? Are these neighbors locals? I'm sure you know where I'm coming from here. I was born in Massachusetts. New England is different.

I don't think she'll ever "get" hints, even the most direct, because she doesn't want to. I think you're right. She thinks you're socially beneath her, & for the hope of social favors in the future she thinks that you'll willingly do any number of "little" favors.

I hate to be mean but, if your husband is so in favor of making nice, how come he doesn't take on these chores she wants done? It may be easier for him to just shut up & play nice, but it's tearing you apart. Doesn't he see this? Are you you really planning to move from this place, to "another house in our dream city," just because of them? How sad.

I don't think you need to worry about what to say to the rude neighbor. She's way beyond hope. How about a nice dinner, a quiet night, & sharing your post with your husband? Don't throw phones or yell at him, just hold his hand, look into his eyes, & say gently, "Please, honey--help me. I need you."

So now are you rolling in the aisle? Is this farwayout freaky? I don't know you or him. But it just seems that you are so against each other in this that she's bound to win. & I'm afraid wherever you move there's likely to be someone else very much like this woman. Among the social elite, among the rich, she's a type that's always looking for free help.

Hope I've not offended. I so wish you better days.

Smack..

LMAO Sal Pal I LOVE your smiley!!!

I have found myself in a similar situation with my neighbors, but I have begun to use it to my advantage. I ask them for the same things they ask for me.

I would not bother answering my phone when she is out of town. And as far as the dog request I would respond that you and DH are not going to be in town that day you have planned a small getaway and she will need to find someone else to do it. Or you could send her a flyer with your rates for pet and house sitting on it. DH can make some money off the deal.

And when people buy your house they don't go meet the neighbors first they usually just want to meet you and see your house.

Imo, this is something you really need to talk about with your dh. He has to know how much this is bothering you. What does he want you to do if he isn't home to handle her unreasonable demands?

I think legz has a good suggestion if your dh isn't going to budge on this. Ask them for favors in return. Ask her to run to the store for you because your MS is acting up ALWAYS ask for something, anything in return. make her into the bad guy when she refuses you (which she most likely will). I know I wouldn't want to ask them for anything but what else can you do in this situation?

You could also say that you're charging for caretaker services now, like legz said. Other than that, I have no clue. Good luck, Dej.

Talk to DS and see if he's willing and what he'd charge to do it. Then, when she asks tell her DS would just love to make some extra money and give her his rates!