I'm not ready to share what the specific "disappointment" is......but perhaps I will some day. My question to you all is this. Have you ever been so incredibly disappointed in the decision of somebody you love and not been able to voice it without alienating them or causing hard feelings?

I was told of the actions of one of my boys today......actually my youngest son.......but he's 24 and not a child anymore. He's an adult and able to make his own decisions without Mom butting in or voicing her opinions (especially if I haven't been asked).

Anyway, it's not anything illegal or morally corrupt.....so I guess I should be thankful at least for that.....but I just cannot help but feel profoundly disappointed and just a little hurt. I'll get over it. And thinking back on my own life I'm quite sure my Mom and Dad are snickering and saying "what goes around comes around, honey"!

I think it is inevitable that sometimes there will be a huge disappointment in a loved one.

I've been through 3 biggies .... survived them, and moved on.

With time, you might find the disappointment is not so large anymore. This is not to minimize yours, at the moment. But I do understand.

I consider these, "bumps in the road".

Who was the big tattle taler? That's who I'd be angry with.. Why do people tell you something that will hurt you and yet be something you can do nothing about.

(((((Kelly)))))

Thanks, MrsD. In the big scheme of things I'm apt to think it's really not that big of a deal. But.....given my circumstances and limitations I just would have thought that he'd have made a smarter decision. Or at least thought it through more thoroughly. Or at least thought of me!

But, it's not all about me. Not really about me at all. As a mother I tend to first think of my children - and I guess that's normal. Kids don't always think of their parents (or in my case their parent) first and I guess that's normal, too.

I get so mad at myself for even feeling disappointed. Because my kids have been so good to me and helped me immensely over the past ten years or so. Maybe I just expect too much from folks and then feel disappointed when they don't live up to my expectations. It helps to put it in writing, though.

Well, YES! I have been stunned, shocked, and quite dissappointed by choices that both my children have made. Look at the latest fiasco with "sticky head" My son chose to stay in a relationship that he knew was abusive. He knew she was doing illegal, immoral, and unethical things, and yet, he chose to turn his head and stay! Broke me in bits to leave him there, or watch him drive off with her in tow many times.

Watched as my DD experimented with some drugs because a few high school girls wanted her to be "more popular" it was a hard lesson to learn, and she learned it well that you cant be popular by being stoned.

Dont even get me started on my mother. For years I keep hoping that she will simply let go of my drug addicted sister, and yet she keeps funneling money her way. She allows her to steal from her, use her, and be abusive of her. I used to beg her to move in with me so I could keep her safe, and provide safe harbor. When I did speak up, it only caused hurt feelings.

In the end, you can only control your own behavior and choices. You have to lean back and hope that all of that upbringing you did for those kids will stick. that the little voice inside his own head will lead him out of deep waters and back onto the shore. Keep praying. Let him know you are there if he needs you. We are here if you need an ear, or a shoulder. Im sorry you are struggling.

Yes, I have been in that situation. It's like a punch in the gut, but of course you can't look at your clueless offspring and say, "What do you MEAN it's nothing personal? Hello, I'm your MOTHER! Did I raise you so stupid you don't know you're breaking my heart???"

So you look at your clueless offspring and say, "It's your life, dear, you have to do what's right for you." Then you cry all night.

That's been a hard thing for me to get my mind wrapped around, that a parent automatically thinks, "How will this affect my child?"...but not vice versa. At least not very often. *sigh*

Been there more times than I like to think, Kitty...but I disappointed others plenty of times, too. I feel blessed that I was forgiven...

We as humans learn the easy way, by taking others' lessons to heart, or we learn the hard way, and cause ourselves, and our loved ones, immeasurable pain.

I hope in time that the disappointment eases for you, dear...

I'm sorry, Kelly . And yes, I've felt that disappointment too. Hopefully, he'll come to you and discuss it on his own when it hits him that 'this may have an effect on mom'.

Sometimes we just expect a little bit...more...from them. A thought would be nice. Many .

Thanks, ya'll, for all the replies. I'm sorry so many can relate to this but glad I'm not alone in the way I feel.

I actually feel better and know that he's not doing anything to me. It's me that's making me feel like this. I know there will be times when I think my kids could make better decisions. But.......not every decision will be made based on what I think or want. And they shouldn't be. Now I feel very selfish for even feeling disappointed in the first place.

I think there should be a warning at the beginning of the "How To Grow A Kid" manual that states no matter how old your children are you'll always be affected by what they say and do!

when i look back at myself in my teens i was still so naive and inexperienced in life. i remember being self centered and thought my parents were there to cater to me. after all, they'd been doing that for so long.

i know as more time passes in both your lives this too shall pass.