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11-16-2011, 12:23 AM | #1 | |||
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Elder
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I am one of four siblings. My Dad was a minister and my brother who is the next youngest to me inherited that totally self sacrificing soul that my Dad had. When Dad died this brother imediately took it upon himself wheich we all took natutally to be the caregiver. He is the one who will always call and aks us how we are, can talk for hours about our problems, help my son in law with all the problems he had with his tours in Iraq and how that changed him. He drove over 300 miles twice a year to come over and stay with Mom even though there are 4 families that live here. Mom seemed to expect it. His own in laws have severe health problems. He drives his father in law to his dialysis treatments, his mother in law has Alzheimers. He is a chaplain in a hospice.They have only one child, a son. They have always pretty much catered to his needs and their son took total advantage of it. He was a twin and they lost one of the babies during the pregnancy and almost lost his wife during the delivery. But he is strong. God knows I can handle this. He only gives us what we can handle, right?
So during high school things starting going sour, rebellion, bad grades, no discipline. Then the drugs and alcohol. He has back problems so in pain. He discovered heroin and there was no going back. You then have all the problems of being on heroin, health, you have to deal in order to get your own fix. So he has had numerous felony charges. He has managed only very short jail times but this last time he was given the choice of jail or rehab. He chose rehab and then immediately checked himself out! He somehow got to his parents house, took some of his Moms checks which by this time he was pretty good at forging his Mom's name, one of thier cars, a laptop and some jewelry. So for the past month they ahve not known where he was or whether he was alive or dead. So this week he decided he had had enough of life. Somehow he got some sleeping pills. They must have been pretty weak because he took 56 sleeping pills. I know he mus have been crying out for help because he did it about a block from an ex-girl friends work. When it didn't kill him he got out of his car, walked to where she worked and she took him to the motel where she was living. Sounds like she was a outstanding citizen also. It was there that some one saw him lokking around the cars and called police about a suspicious guy in the parking lot and he was picked up. So now he is finally in jail, under suicide watch. He had written a very sincere sounding and graphic suicide note and going to going through withdrawal. He won't speak to his parents although he did mouth to his Mom as they were leaving that he loved her. They don't know whether he is facing prison or state hospital time. This Thanksgiving next week wias going to be hard enough on us all this year because of Mom dying in March. Now my brother and his wife won't be there. But his wife wasn't going to be anyway because her Dad has only about a month left to live. I just don't know what to do. My brothers therapist says he has caregivers stress syndrome but he can't take any time off. His son has completely wiped out all thier life savings. But we are so glad that my nephew was found alive. I'm sure he isn't happy. Oh, we have some good freinds that we haven't seen in a while. Her husband up and left her, says she is disabled and doesn't want to be with her any more. He is living with his preacher and thier family. And thier one and only child who was brilliant, had gotten a doubel masters. One in amrraige counseling and the other in sex therapy. Seems as if the things she learned in sex therapy doesn't hold to well with her and God and with her and her husband so they got a divorce and she is living with a guy. It's jsut been a bad week so far and it's only Tuesday.
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11-16-2011, 02:14 AM | #2 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Sheesh, Doydie!
Many hugs to you, my dear.
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Rochelle . . I've lost my mind ... and I don't miss it! LIFE HAS NO REMOTE -- GET UP AND CHANGE IT YOURSELF! |
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11-16-2011, 02:53 AM | #3 | |||
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Legendary
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I'm so sorry that you and your family are suffering right now Doydie. Thank you for trusting us enough to share your story with us.
Please know that we are here for you ... as always ... if things start to get any tougher. Sending hugs and wondering if there's anything we can do for YOU?
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Eastern Australian Daylight Savings Time and my temperature . |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | doydie (11-16-2011), Kitty (11-16-2011), nemsmom (11-16-2011), SallyC (11-16-2011), Twinkletoes (11-16-2011) |
11-16-2011, 03:17 AM | #4 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Doydie
Sometimes there just aren't any words......and a hug has to say it all. You're in my prayers.
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These forums are for mutual support and information sharing only. The forums are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here. |
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11-16-2011, 05:55 AM | #5 | |||
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Elder
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Oh Doydie, you and your family will be in my prayers. It's so hard not to demand "why?" when these hard things happen, isn't it? God be with you.
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* * * **My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26) |
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11-16-2011, 10:26 AM | #6 | |||
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In Remembrance
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Take a deep breath Doydie and stay strong. Sending much love and many s
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~Love, Sally . "The best way out is always through". Robert Frost ~If The World Didn't Suck, We Would All Fall Off~ |
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11-18-2011, 07:34 AM | #7 | |||
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Member
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WOW Doydie! Nothing like having the problems of Job all within one family. What a heavy burden. Remember to control only that which you have control over.
May Peace be with you all.
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Craig ~ NeuroNixed Living Life On My Terms No Excuses No Regrets . Richmond, VA USA |
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