Hi Sparky, I've been here intermittently, and I don't remember you, but glad to see you. I too have bad memories, some of them of work, but more of them related to family and university years. I pray God often to "heal my memories". Some days, they go away. Some days they come back suddenly; I'll remember a situation and see it clearly in my mind, and I may start to cry. And so much of these situations were directly related to my physical limitations--probably as in your case? (I don't know what your job was). Because I looked normal, apart from a slightly meandering walk, sympathy was not often forthcoming. I myself did not know what was wrong, and tended to believe reports that I needed mental readjustment. I tried hard to do that mental readjustment, and most of the trying was wasted, but I must say I did learn some things about myself and life through the "wasted" effort.
Hoping the bad memories go away soon and stay away. Yes you are grieving a big loss.
I hope BF is helpful in these times. My husband was so helpful when I was down, just by being there and on my side.