[Dejibo]

my 50th birthday is fast approaching. All has been quiet around here, and I was almost relieved to think no party was going to happen. my richie rich im better than you are neighbor called today to speak to my husband. He wasnt around, so she not so cleverly started to name suggestions for my husbands list. she started to name neighbors and some friends we have in common. I said "um...whats this for?" and she said "oh, you never mind, you will find out soon enough." and she tittered and giggled. well, clearly this is for my surprise party!

im upset and hurt to think she has such little respect for us that she would blow my husbands surprise. she thought herself to be covert and cute, but I found it mean, and spiteful.

What do you do when you are "clued in" that there is going to be a party? do I tell DH? do I let it slide and act surprised? do I confront neighbor and say "not fair!" What would you do? To give a bit of history, these are the folks that rent to awful people and then leave for the winter season leaving us to deal with the noise, traffic and rudeness. holier than tho, im better than you attitude...grrr....im upset.

What do i do?

[SallyC]

Let it slide..don't spoil it for your DH..

[Jomar]

She is a real piece of work...
I guess be glad she isn't around all year...

[kicker]

Why do you let this person in or near you?

[Dejibo]

they are here six months out of the year. They live 2 doors down. My DH has made friends with her DH. They are both idiots! My DH wants to keep peace in the neighborhood, and thinks that since they are only here a short time, we can grit our teeth and get thru their summer visits. I have said for years now ENOUGH!

They call all the time and say "Hey! what are you doing on Tuesday?!" and we think maybe they will ask us to their fire side lake side event, or maybe out to lunch...we say "dont think anything, why?" and they say "we are going out to a lobster lunch with the (insert another rich persons name) and we were hoping you would let the dogs out while we were gone. " They leave for the winter and no matter how many times we say we WONT watch your house, your yard, your property or your things, they call about once a week to say "could you run down and wrap that japenese maple for us? or UPS said they delivered our meds to that address, could you rescue them off the porch and mail them here? we had a bad snow storm, could you rake the back part of the deck roof so it wont collapse? UGH! They dont hear you when you say no thank you.

I will continue on and act like I dont know anything, but i cant believe she ruined yet another event! As it is EVERY event is filled with her venom for her husband, and her praise of anyone whom she believes has money. Some kid was visiting another neighbor and she kept saying what a nice boy he was because he is heir to the nabisco fortune. I said "he cant just be a nice boy, cause he is a nice boy? he has to be a nice boy cause he goes to Choate private school?" She cant see people for who they are, she always sees them for the labels they wear, or the title they hold. She is a republican and he is democrat so you know their home is always filled with a list of who is who in the political world. UGH. disgusting!

so, I will bite my tongue.

[marion06095]

It is clear that she is a less-evolved earthling.

[Kitty]

They sound like really self-absorbed people. I feel sorry for them. Too bad they can't know true happiness.

[Sparky10]

If I were in this situation, I like to think I could act surprised at the party, and tell hubby later how this neighbor knowingly spoiled his secret.

With your husband friendly with this other man it's hard to avoid uncomfortable situations involving the couple. Does your hubby agree to not handle their house affairs when they are gone? If so, he should stick to that decision.

[kicker]

I have a friend who doesn't do for others unless he feels he really has to (loved ones, etc) who says "I'm middle-aged, I don't have time". Like that. 6 months a year is half your life.

Years ago I made the decision to not let toxic people control my life. Another friend says (see a trend here with me and my friends?) "Vampires can't come in unless you invite them."

[Jomar]

When they call to ask for things say you will be away and they need to find someone else to do it....

Unless dh doesn't mind doing it for his friend...If that is the case let him do all the things until he gets tired of it.


I would be tempted to block her phone number...