The Stumble Inn The place for social chat for our M.S. community. The Stumble Inn


advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-07-2012, 06:08 PM #1
doydie's Avatar
doydie doydie is offline
Elder
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: southern Indiana
Posts: 5,533
15 yr Member
doydie doydie is offline
Elder
doydie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: southern Indiana
Posts: 5,533
15 yr Member
Default Mother in law very ill

We knew she had kidneu failure and sometime it raised its ugly head and sometimes she was OK. But it has been bad lately. She has COPD really bad and right now has pnuemonia in both lungs. Then her blood count came back this week and her hemoglobin was 3 So she was taken to the hospital today. She has some really strange antibodies that make getting blood pretty difficult. So I have been at the hospital all day. She has a daughter that comes around about once a year and at that time tries to take total control. She is the dutiful daughter doing everything for Mom. My husband and one of the brothers are the ones who take care of her. The brother is hard of hearing. So in this hospital room is the daughter, her two kids, who all rank of cigarettes, a hard of hearing son and his wife who just tried to stay out of the way and my husband and I. I just had to leave. This daughter and kids are always asking for money for rent, medicine, food, etc. But they are all covered with tattoos, and stink. I am sorry if I offend anyone but they look worse than trailer trash. But she immediately dismisses me at MIL bedside and lets me know I am the in law. I would knock her teeth out but she has none, wears no dentures and is only 50 years old, wears bad make up and the color she put on her hair is terrible. Can you tell I am about ready to spit nails right now. This is the only parent I have left. I know she is my MIL but she has been that for 40 years and she wants me to call her Mom. When she was able to get out and go out with us when I assisted her out of her wh/ch to stand to get in the car we would stand and give each other a big hug and kiss. Then there is the other son that just doesn't see her, call or anything. One year the nursing home let us know she was accumulating to much money in her account so MIL wrote us all checks. You better believe the two of them got there to see her real quick. But where are they now?

OK, I think I am done. I am just really tired. Between yesterdays drama and today my brain is gone
__________________

.

Last edited by doydie; 07-07-2012 at 06:31 PM.
doydie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Blessings2You (07-07-2012), Jappy (07-08-2012), jprinz99 (07-07-2012), Judy2 (07-11-2012), Kitty (07-07-2012), Koala77 (07-14-2012), SallyC (07-07-2012)

advertisement
Old 07-07-2012, 06:15 PM #2
Blessings2You's Avatar
Blessings2You Blessings2You is offline
Elder
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Vermont
Posts: 6,726
15 yr Member
Blessings2You Blessings2You is offline
Elder
Blessings2You's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Vermont
Posts: 6,726
15 yr Member
Default

You'd like to think a situation like this would bring out the "best" in people, but sadly it usually only brings out the "real" in people. I'm guessing a good part of your anger is because of the disrespect being shown to your mother-in-law, and I don't blame you. How very sad.
__________________
*
*
*

**My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26)
Blessings2You is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
doydie (07-07-2012), hollym (07-09-2012), Judy2 (07-11-2012), Kitty (07-07-2012), SallyC (07-07-2012)
Old 07-07-2012, 06:39 PM #3
Kitty's Avatar
Kitty Kitty is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Deep South
Posts: 21,576
15 yr Member
Kitty Kitty is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Kitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Deep South
Posts: 21,576
15 yr Member
Default

I agree with B2Y....you have every right to be hurt by this behavior. These situations do bring out the worst is folks. Guess it's their guilt making them behave badly.

Getting all stressed out won't do you or your MIL any good. She knows who's been with her in good times and bad. Believe me, she knows.

Just take the high road and show those fair-weather family members how a "real" family member behaves. It's hard....probably one of the hardest things you'll ever do. But the One who's most important will see it all.
__________________
These forums are for mutual support and information sharing only. The forums are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.
Kitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Blessings2You (07-07-2012), Judy2 (07-11-2012), SallyC (07-07-2012)
Old 07-07-2012, 07:33 PM #4
doydie's Avatar
doydie doydie is offline
Elder
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: southern Indiana
Posts: 5,533
15 yr Member
doydie doydie is offline
Elder
doydie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: southern Indiana
Posts: 5,533
15 yr Member
Default

Thanks you guys. Between the heat and all this I am just kapoot. Is that a word?
__________________

.
doydie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Judy2 (07-11-2012), Kitty (07-07-2012), SallyC (07-07-2012)
Old 07-07-2012, 08:58 PM #5
Sparky10's Avatar
Sparky10 Sparky10 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,094
15 yr Member
Sparky10 Sparky10 is offline
Senior Member
Sparky10's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,094
15 yr Member
Default

It is a word! I spell it kaput but it sounds the same and means the same. And feels the same. Hope you get some rest and recuperate quickly.

Your MIL knows who really loves her. I hope she feels better soon!
__________________
RRMS, diagnosed '00

Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not yet the end.
Sparky10 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Judy2 (07-11-2012)
Old 07-07-2012, 11:05 PM #6
jprinz99 jprinz99 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: at home, of course
Posts: 1,140
15 yr Member
jprinz99 jprinz99 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: at home, of course
Posts: 1,140
15 yr Member
Default

{{{Doydie}}}

too bad we can't choose who gets to be our family. You & your husband do what you think is right for your MIL. The rest of them be damned (pardon my french)
__________________
Jane

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
jprinz99 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Judy2 (07-11-2012), SallyC (07-08-2012)
Old 07-08-2012, 07:57 AM #7
Dejibo's Avatar
Dejibo Dejibo is offline
Elder
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 7,332
15 yr Member
Dejibo Dejibo is offline
Elder
Dejibo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 7,332
15 yr Member
Default

Your sis in law is MY sister! Stands up to take control in public when she wants to look good, or if she thinks the will may come into play, but close the door and she flops back in the chair and sticks her hand out. No teeth, tatooed, stinks of an ashtray, hasnt washed her hair in days, no clean clothes to her name, and yet screams how its HER that takes care of that old woman, its HER that will be in charge of things when she is gone. UGH! you can HAVE IT ALL! Just step away from her while she is alive. You are really not helping! So, I know exactly what you are saying.

Can you visit during off or less than peak hours? Early AM is a good time to avoid the lazy bones. This gives you time when things are quiet and calm around the hospital. Dinner time is an awful time because of how many show up then, and how many orders get changed during the day.

You have worked really hard with her, and in-law or not, its YOU that has shown up day or night, sick or well, and you dont need to prove yourself to the likes of her or anyone else.

Hang in there.
__________________
RRMS 3/26/07
.

Betaseron 5/18/07
.

Elevated LFTs Beta DC 7/07
Copaxone 8/7/07
.



.
Dejibo is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Judy2 (07-11-2012)
Old 07-08-2012, 12:12 PM #8
doydie's Avatar
doydie doydie is offline
Elder
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: southern Indiana
Posts: 5,533
15 yr Member
doydie doydie is offline
Elder
doydie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: southern Indiana
Posts: 5,533
15 yr Member
Default

My time in nursing lets me rationalize why why she is is the way she is when she is with the family. She feels guilt and this is the way she has to be when she is with her Mom and us. Yes, I can rationalize but that doens't mean I have to accept.
__________________

.
doydie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ANNagain (07-11-2012), aussiemom (07-08-2012), Blessings2You (07-08-2012), Dejibo (07-08-2012), Judy2 (07-11-2012), Kitty (07-08-2012), Koala77 (07-14-2012)
Old 07-09-2012, 09:01 AM #9
jprinz99 jprinz99 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: at home, of course
Posts: 1,140
15 yr Member
jprinz99 jprinz99 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: at home, of course
Posts: 1,140
15 yr Member
Default

the hospital staff knows who really cares for your MIL. They see the acting by family all the time.
__________________
Jane

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
jprinz99 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Dejibo (07-09-2012), Judy2 (07-11-2012), SallyC (07-09-2012)
Old 07-10-2012, 11:26 PM #10
doydie's Avatar
doydie doydie is offline
Elder
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: southern Indiana
Posts: 5,533
15 yr Member
doydie doydie is offline
Elder
doydie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: southern Indiana
Posts: 5,533
15 yr Member
Default

Mother in law is doing very well. It has made me brush up on some nursing knowledge that I had forgotten but there is nothing wrong with that. I had forgotten a lot about kidney failure and how it relates to anemia. She had enough spunk in her today that when we got up there to see her that she had both legs out of the bed. She would have broke another hip! She has a bed alarm so hopefully it would have gone off before she actually tried to stand. I am surprised that Medicaid is letting her still be in the hospital.
__________________

.
doydie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ANNagain (07-11-2012), Blessings2You (07-11-2012), Debbie D (07-16-2012), Dejibo (07-11-2012), Judy2 (07-11-2012), Koala77 (07-14-2012), SallyC (07-11-2012)
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Here for me and my mother SuzieQ50 New Member Introductions 4 12-11-2010 08:48 PM
mother MaddieMae General Mental Health & Emotional Support 2 09-08-2010 09:39 PM
my mother Yellowfever Trigeminal Neuralgia 1 11-06-2009 04:04 PM
Hello I am here for my mother memaw5 New Member Introductions 5 05-12-2009 01:56 AM
The Mother legzzalot Creative Corner 1 11-18-2008 02:11 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:41 PM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.