I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug: :(

My heart was crying already then I saw what you wrote about he knew you were there and leaned into you. My heart goes out to you and your SO.

This thread reminds me of our recent losses too.

Since Oct 2010 we have lost 4 kitties. Sheba (24) who was very very old, and Tippy, who was not quite as old, but 20, recently Oreo (14) with her year long cancer struggle, and little Houdini (8mos) who disappeared one night with no warning--and not knowing what happened eats at me still.

Each has been extremely painful, but each in its own way.
The grief with Houdini is the worst for me. The others had long happy lives, and I have wonderful photos of them to remind me.
So the sadness I feel for them is very different from the recent loss of Houdini.
Houdini, left me with GUILT...that I it was my fault somehow.

I think that people who connect well with pets, share a bond with them, that is very difficult to break. As a result of all this, I have become overprotective of our new kitties. And I spoil them terribly. I won't let Maya out at all. And Weezie is only going out in daytime, for short periods, and she is slowly accepting an indoor life now. I do let them on the screened in porch however. Eventually they will both be all indoor, I hope.
Maya however, is quite a character, and I don't know what the future will hold for her. She may become difficult to restrain indoors 100%. She comes from barn cat background and displays alot of hunter behaviors. I just don't know what will develop next year.

We can only do our best for our furry friends. Love them, give them food, acceptance and respect. And there are so many out there suffering right now needing a home, as well. I can tear up now almost from nothing, and I was never like that before.

I'm the same way mrsD. And those ASPCA commercials just send me over the edge! I'm frantically looking for the remote to mute the TV until I can get the channel changed. :o

I think (and know) that all of us here do the very best we can for our beloved fur families. Just like with humans....things happen and we can't always predict the outcome. :( But we do give them our best and I believe they know this. In a way I almost think they have a better deal......because we won't let them suffer needlessly and for prolonged periods of time just for our own selfish needs. Nobody likes having to say goodbye - especially at a time like this - but I choose to believe that our furbabies know that we're doing what we feel in our hearts is the best thing for them. :hug:

Yes, Kitty. Oreo "knew". When I took her in that last time and
the Vet said, "now"...and retracted his Okay for vacation...
she knew. I have her face etched in my memory as I put her back in her carrier.

I brought her home, because hubby was going to take her in for "it" later in the day. She was really HIS cat, and she wasn't bonded to me quite in the same way. But when I said goodbye to her that afternoon, she looked at me that way again... she knew... sigh...:Sob:
We both thought it would be better for her, if he took her in. I was the one who had to do the painful vet visits for the cancer.

It never gets easier, and time does help ease the pain. Dog or cat, was your baby, and it hurts. The good memories will surface and crowd out the pain.

And I felt with the past 2 fur kids they would want me to have another. Not to replace them, couldn't anyway, but to keep an eye on me.

My sympathy to you.

So sorry for your loss, Ann. :hug: And the education about this awful disease.

Are your other kitties loving a hugging you more today? (((((ANN)))))

Sally brings up a point...but not the one she intended, I bet.

When we put Oreo to sleep 3 days before our trip upNorth, we didn't expect Weezie to be very affected. Oreo was a loner, and only interacted with Weez now and then. Oreo did however "protect" Weez outside--and I witnessed that myself.
But Weez had the indoor domain, and Oreo the outside for the most part.

Well 3 days into our vacation, Weez became very ill. Coughing, sneezing running eye, high fever, and finally a light coma (she stopped eating). The Vet up there thought she had feline herpes at first, but then days later, a bite appeared on her left back neck.
We took her back to him, and he explained to me how cats grieve, and react to stress. (he has cats of his own).

He said Tippy's sudden illness could have been a stress/grief reaction to Sheba's passing. And Weezie seemed to have 2 things going on that the coughing, etc didn't reflect on a bite.
So he wouldn't allow us to adopt Maya, yet. We had to wait 3 weeks before we could.

So the loss of Ghandi, may shake up your feline household somewhat, Ann. It may be subtle, and not necessarily what you would think even. I couldn't imagine Weezie missing Oreo (who seemed to dominate her). But she seemed to react to Oreo's loss in her own way. When hubby came home with Oreo in her funeral box the vet provided....he put it on the picnic table out back, where Oreo used to sleep. Immediately Weezie was there standing vigil over it. So when he finished the burial hole, in our wildflower garden area, he came in and we decided Weezie should come in and not watch that part. Who knows what she could be thinking about THAT!

Dr. Groover upNorth, therefore provided us with more insight into cat physiology than I understood from before. He explained to me that any STRESS (perceived by the cat's point of view), can lead to illness or erratic behavior. In our case, Oreo died, right before a long car trip (2nd stressor), and Oreo was not upNorth to protect/dominate Weezie, and she sensed that and became ill. Her bite from the mystery animal, may not have turned into such a mess as it did therefore. Cats get into a "routine" type behavior pattern, and a severe change of this they perceive as highly stressful. So just the absence of your Ghandi, may provoke some other "thing" in the near future. Just be prepared for that. Feline herpes is very common and latent in cats, and will come out like human herpes viruses. Running eyes, sneezing and coughing are signs. Treatment involves the amino acid L-lysine and there are Vet products now that have this in them. If not treated properly it can lead to loss of eyeball, pneumonia or worse. Dr. Groover says, he thinks just about all the cats in the Eastern UP of Michigan have herpes and get it from their mothers. (Do not therefore, allow treatment with steroids if you suspect feline herpes--doctors give cats steroids often to help with pain. But in this case it will flare the herpes, and lead to
an awful outcome!). There is a new drug out for trauma and emergency pain in cats...it is called Onsior. Maya got this with her spay.
Dr. Groover gave Weezie Rimadyl by injection..the dog NSAID. The new Onsior is a feline safe NSAID for emergency pain/fever, and I guess was not out yet, last Aug when we needed it. Maya only needed one pill and I never used the other two. It is a 24hr acting medication and very new still...I didn't trust it 100%.
You can look this up on Google further. I really didn't know about feline herpes until just recently myself. Not all vets know about this, so it is up to you to watch for signs, etc.

Hopefully, your other kitties will adjust. It is just we had two deaths, and two emergencies that followed and that had never happened to us before.

Sorry, this got longer than I thought it would be. But I think the information we learned this summer, would be very helpful to other feline households here. :o