I read just a headline the other day that was about how hospice care is letting seniors die...uh, in my experience, that is what they are hired for-to make a terminal situation comfortable for the dying without any extraordinary measures...

I am going to stop drinking liquids when I feel it's time to go. You can last for weeks and weeks without food, but not so long without liquids.
I know that when FIL stopped drinking and eating he only lasted a few days...same with MIL. It was against my instincts, but they were "leaving" anyway...a water-dipped small sponge kept their lips and mouth from discomfort. It was still so sad

I will never forget my Mom's time in hospice. It forever changed my veiw point on the dying, as a nurse I was supposed to take care of patients, keep them alive, not help them die. These nurses were saints. They nursed Mom and they nursed me.

Very sound strategy but make sure your family knows your wishes and don't allow artificial nutrition or hydration.

I swear if anyone comes near me with a feeding tube or intubation equipment I will rise up from the grave and snatch them bald headed! And that has been in place since I was in my early 20s!

Yikes, Karen!!! I just checked in my area and it's a little lower than yours but man... Just having someone in my home is just under 3 times my annual income. That's just crazy! I am on my state's medicaid program, for now, but should they make changes who knows what will happen. Of course, in a skilled nursing facility, I would end up with such high medical bills that I would qualify for state aid or something.

I don't have any long term care insurance and apparently don't qualify for my states program right now. I don't know what the qualifications are for that.

Sadly, when the time comes, like Sally, I will live with one of my DDs and just go to the hospital as needed.

I know that I would have to give up everything entirely to get Medicaid if I ever had to have long term care in a nursing home but I just don't want to give up my children's inheritance. We own our home fair and square, nearly own our second car and the other car ha been paid off for quite a while. Yes, our cars aren't new. We have worked hard to be able to give our home and all possessions to our girls and I just don't ever want to give that up. I know that neither one will probably live in it but they cans ell it and have the profit. We paid $58,000 back in 1978 and have made improvements. I know my husband just wants to give up and die if it ever comes to that time. But we don't get that choice. Well he could decide to go like out next door neighbor did but I an still remember the sound of that gun shot to his head. I don't want my kids to have to live in a home their dad commited suicide in.

I'm not eligible for the federal government's LTCI program. Item number 4 in small print - MS diagnosis is not eligible.

Tom

Have you asked your children what they would prefer? I personally don't want one dime from my parents. I hope they have spent everything they earned on themselves and would much prefer they are comfortable in their last days.

My Dad says he did his job as a parent by raising us to be independent and self supporting so if there is any money left over he will donate it to charity. (I'm hoping its an animal charity. )

Lol, that was one of the reasons I jumped through all the hoops to secure a federal govt position a few years back. Much to my surprise they now do a fairly standard 403B for retirement and I was ineligible for long term care, thanks to MS.

Heck if the government isn't offering LTC insurance to us I'm pretty sure no one will.

Jules, I'm sure if I asked my girls they would tell me that they would say that they would ant me to be taken care of. But they also love this house. I know my oldest daughter wouldn't move here just to live here but I know at this particular time my youngest sure would. She has 3 dogs and they would love our yard vs her postage stamp size yard. But she would have to buy her sister's half. Of course I don't think the older one would mind at all if younger one didn't. That's the kind of kids they are. If one needs something and they can help, they do it freely. Or if it's like I was with my Mom and Dad's things, I really didn't want things. I wanted my parents.

Doydie, the hospice nurse that cared for my in laws said the same thing you did...she used to work in a hospital. She said, "We all were taught to keep people alive no matter what. When I joined the hospice group, I found out how wrong that can be for some people."

She was so great...helped us help FIL go peacefully and made sure he didn't suffer...she was on vacation the week MIL passed, and we had a tough time with one of the nurses refusing to give her morphine for pain. We made sure she didn't come on duty for us again
Once we made sure we wanted MIL to be comfortable, they made sure of it, and she also passed peacefully.

That's the way we all should be allowed to pass on. FIL used to say, "We treat animals better than we treat humans when they're dying." He was so right...