I get you Debbie. I would report that nurse that wouldn't give the medicine. That's the whole purpose of hospice. And I think a big part of that purpose is not only easing the loved ones pain but the families pain while doing it. That was 3 tough weeks I had with my Mom and I am so glad for those high does of medicine. My Dad was in ICU behind those sterile walls and we couldn't see him that often. But it was a blessing to see both of them as they finally joined the Lord in heaven.

I sometimes wish I could be a volunteer in a hospice but I know I couldn't handle it. But they gave so so much to me as a person and a nurse in those 3 short weeks. My brother has been a chaplain in a hospice now for years. I don't know how he does it.

Jules, you can't guarantee what the med system does to you as to your final medical wishes unless you have it in writing. Yes, definately tell every family member of your final wishes - and put it in writing.

But also fill out your state's Advanced Directives for Health Care (it used to be called a Living Will) forms. That is free to do - simply Google them online for your state's forms and print out blanks, or ask your PCP for them. Often, no Notary is even required, only two impartial witnesses. Give copies to everyone including your family, your signature witnesses, your PCP and your neuro.

Keep your original somewhere safe at home - - not in a bank safe deposit box. Others will need immediate access to it especially if you don't want the things done to you that the hospital may do automatically upon your entering an ER or hospital , thing like CPR, breathing tubes, feeding tubes, hydration, blood transfusions, dialysys and other expensive, unwanted procedures.

I added an Addendum page to mine to put my wishes into my own words, as well.

Also, if you love your family, have a Will for after you're gone. The Will doesn't outline your health preferences; only property and minors' care.

MsBluIs

We both have a will and a trust. Having a trust ensures that our heirs won't have to go through probate; a will does not protect you from that.

I do need to fill out an advance directive form. DH is my power of attorney for health. Good idea about having a copy at home...I need to do that and let one of the kids know where it is.

Yup, got it all! And I want NOTHING, except lots of pain meds, even today at 50yo.

But thanks for the great advice and I love that you used the term safe deposit box instead of "safety deposit box" which for some reason drives me batty.