[Starznight]

Well, my home is growing in number of homeless people... My uncle is living with us, and now my DN is moving in too he's a great kid though he grew up in ga and two years ago my sister moved back to nh taking the kids with her. He's been desperate to come back to where he considers home, and had moved in with a friend, but got booted out by the friend's mom.

So in a last minute save, my DH offered up our guest room for him. It's funny since I keep thinking of him as a kid, but he's 18 already tattooed and all . And my uncle's hoping he'll get picked for the apprenticeship where he works so all will hopefully go well.

I'm just really excited right now, missed my nieces and nephew since they left and now I get one around the house to both spoil and be spoiled by since he's neat as a pin, taking after me towards the OCD of housework. Hopefully we don't end up with a falling out over who used the last of the bleach this year could be fun!

[Starznight]

Okay, now a slight problem has occurred with the DN, sweetheart that he is, he's given to the impression that because I have MS, I might just drop dead tomorrow. Or next week he could be called upon to help change his aunty's diapers.... Poor kid, considering I was up walking around, didn't even need my cane yesterday and he's scared something terrible is going to happen to me. I thought my sister had talked to her kids about it, (she loves drama it would have been right up her alley) but either she didn't, or she did but went to the overly dramatic side.

I calmed him down about the possibility of me dying in the near future, and nixed any thoughts if him "EVER" changing a wet nappy on his aunt... "NEVER!!!" Going to happen. Never...ever...ever........ever....

But while I can explain how it's a degenerative disease, yada yada, here's all the things that 'can' happen with it. I can't really reassure him that today I'll be up bouncing around like yesterday, or even know what state I might be in whenever he decides to fully leave the family nest. I'm finding it a little difficult to explain things to him without freaking him out that there's something 'terribly wrong!' with his aunty or giving him unrealistic delusions that I might not be able to live up to.

The last time we really hung out, I was still the fun aunty, larger than life and more a kid than they were even though I was already starting my decline. But could hide it slightly by their being old enough to take the risks I convinced them to do, rather than continuing to be their personal stunt man. And he's at that awkward age where he's an adult-kid. So he takes the strangest things to heart and can't comprehend other things. Though I guess I need to figure something out soon, since my step-daughter will be coming along next to give me the third degree. She's already desperately saving up money to come and visit just in case anything should happen... When did all these kids start engraving my tombstone?

[kicker]

Time, just time. My 22 year old twins, DH and some of their friends believe that while the wheelchair prevents certain things (like Mom is not coming up stairs to clean that bathroom, neither is she coming upstairs for any other reason!). We've been doing this many years. They do help when asked, but like DH only when asked. In the beginning, falls, some other stuff scared them but this is a journey your Nephew must go on before he "gets" it. Nothing happens quickly, but you'll all get there.

[SallyC]

Good post Kicker!!!

[doydie]

Sounds like he is a very sweet soul. As kicker said, time, just time. I know it took me awhile to adjust to it and all the stages of grief I went through. Since he is now in a living situation that he is just no visiting and then leaving and he is actually living there, he has to adjust to it also and in his own way. He might be able to draw out some of that fun cool aunt again though. I know I have vowed to always be the best Gradnma and aunt that I can be even if it is from a wheel chair or scooter like I have to be when I go to an amusement park with them. And it is enlightening for the young ones to actually know some one who has a disability. It lessens the chance of them bullying some one who has one. They grow up more tolerant.

I loved it when the show 'Growing up Fischer' was on. The Dad was blind but he led his life as a father and husband like he wasn't and his young boy never had to think about his Dad being blind because he was so much fun. Never can understand why they cancelled it after one season

[Starznight]

Thanks, I'm impatient when it comes to something like this, not so much the 'ya know I can't do everything anymore,' but more he's upset and scared for me and I just want him to be happy all the time, accept whatever happens and let's just have some FUN! He too has gone through some things, was bullied quite a bit as a kid and handed probably more than his fair share of family drama, and he's just too good a kid. But the folks and I are taking him out to an old fort today (I must being feeling the need for PAIN) and then off to the beach.

Hopefully, once I'm in the water both the pain will subside and the FUN aunty will make her return with a vengeance (if I'm not too exhausted from the heat)

[SallyC]

Don't make yourself sick now, trying to prove that your not sick.
He should know that you have certain limitations due to your MS,
but it doesn't limit your joy, fun and happiness, while enjoying
his company...(unless you drop dead from exhaustion from
overdoing it)

Small but sure steps.

[Starznight]

Thanks for the advice, something I'm really bad at, but still we had fun at the fort, skipped the beach, and just went to lunch. Came back to the folks house and headed home when CRUNCH! Lady parked herself in the side of my car. DH is fine, shaken and stirred (we spun...wweeee...) and I think I'm fine, no air bags went off thankfully, just a few little bruises slowly peeking out, and driver of the other car and her daughter were fine, slow speed wreck.

But it was my first as a driver, so I guess I can't tell the hubby anymore that I'm the better driver since until today I haven't been in any accidents where I was the driver.... Well now I have, totally not at fault, but was the driver at the time of impact lol. We'll see how both of us feel after a couple of days, but didn't see a need to ride to the hospital today.