[jprinz99]

Having great anxiety over staying with DHs family over Christmas. Some of you may remember I have not revealed to my husband's family that I have MS. They have preconceived opinions about MS and no amount of education can sway them. He is the youngest of 6 so there are a lot of 'em...

It is harder and harder to keep up the story we tell them. Over ten years ago I crushed my ankle and we keep telling them that is why I am in AFos & use forearm crutches & a wheelchair. I have to have a good nap every day and have other issues due the the monster.

I am really having some dread over this stay and all the prying questions and their frustration at my 'laziness' (fatigue). Please say a quiet prayer I get thru this weeklong stay without snapping or crying.

[SallyC]

I feel for you Jane. Why doesn't you DH, not you, talk to them and take the worry
off your plate, so you can enjoy Christmas too? Why do Fam get togethers have
to be so stressful.

[Kitty]

Would they be receptive to hearing how their behavior is affecting you? Maybe not at the Christmas family get together but at another less stressful time.

You and DH together letting them know what you have, how it affects you and what their preconceived notions do to your feelings. Have you told DH how they make you feel?

I feel bad for you because my late DH's family used to be so opinionated and had no problem letting anyone and everyone know what they thought.....whether they were asked or not. I'm so glad to be away from all that drama.

I hope it all works out for you. The holidays are stressful enough without having to worry about the inlaws.

[Erin524]

Even if they knew you have MS, they might still think that you're lazy. I get that from my family all the time, (not my parents, but other relatives). Even tho I have to use a walker to get around, I still get occasional comments from relatives that think I'm being lazy, or faking.

[doydie]

I am so sorry they treat you like that and you have to pretty well lie to them. Educating the public is so important for us MSers and other unseen illness. It is just so much easier for all around. Could you just roll into the kitchen and ask to help at the table doing something to help. Maybe talk about the medicine and how much it is and what it does to a families budget. Maybe some one will get interested in that and look it up on the internet and if they are like me, looking at one thing just makes me look further and learn more. If you had just one person in his family on your side. Good luck

[Sparky10]

Sad that you have to live a lie. Would it really be different if they knew the truth? Do you see these people enough to be that affected by them? Can you afford a hotel if their inhospitibleness drives you away?

[NurseNancy]

that is very sad that they have to behave that way.

it's up to your dh, since it's his family, to tell them what you're dealing with and why and to insist that they treat you with respect.

otherwise i agree with trying to find a handicapped hotel room so you can keep to your routine as much as possible. but, a wk might be too expensive.

[kicker]

Tell only IF it is necessary - how much do you see them? Maybe divide and conquer? I like my SIL, we are friends. Not crazy about my MIL and neither is she. So we giggle together in corners. If you have to, remind yourself it will end, do these people and their opinions really matter and Christmas is just one day. My Father's funeral totally arranged by my step-mother and it was terrible for me, my sister held my hand and whispered "it's just one day." It's not your job to educate or change these people.

[kicker]

Sometimes educating or changing some people is like trying to nail Jello to a tree.

[jprinz99]

well, we survived by the skin of our teeth. Chose not to inform them (other than the one SIL who knows & keeps her mouth shut as we requested)

My husband told me "Some people are so ignorant they can't listen or be educated. Why waste our time beating our heads against a wall. Who cares what they think?"

Gotta love a man who sometimes gets it

We couldn't find a motel that had rooms available and that we could afford for 10 days. So we made a choice to find some reason to go to the store or visit someone else for the day if things got too bad. Struggled thru Christmas day and finally hit the wall just as I sat down for dinner. They all thought it was due to lack of sleep and "low sugar" LOL

So glad to be home. It took a while to recoup energy... and then we got the flu. Been a rough couple of weeks. Anyone want to take a bet on when we will get our tree packed up & put away