[Starznight]

Okay, I have not raised a child from infancy to adulthood. My DH and I had sole custody of his daughter for about 2.5 years before the courts felt it wise to ignore DCFS and give custody back to the mother who was in a polite way to put it bat$#*@ crazy and not in a good way by any stretch of the imagination.

Needless to say, as much as I adore my grandbabies. They are just as cute as can be, somewhat sweet (a good bit mouthy) and can be good (for the right price) my step-daughter is lacking a bit in wholesome parenting. She does try with all her might to be a great mother, but she's a good deal lost.

She doesn't know about naps, she doesn't think the kids need a bedtime until they start school (which we got custody just as she was starting school so you can imagine where she determined that) she has no clue about regular meal times though she does a great job at watching the nutrition they receive.

The babies are 2 and 3 yrs old. And she should be down here soon with them. I do know about nap times and regular bedtimes, regular mealtimes and the like. But what about the other things? At what age do you start 'prepping' kids for kindergarten now a days. And what all information do they need to know before they start?

I went to a private school, so I had to know a bit more than the other kids in my school district but it was still only the 8 main colors, the basic shapes, my ABC's, address, birthdate and name. As the baby of the family I couldn't tell you when my folks started 'prepping' me for school, it was all information that I knew and picked up from my older siblings and their friends.

Should some time be set aside in their day for 'school work' even at their young age? She does read to them every day, and the kids have books galore. But I wonder if I shouldn't find some free activity printables for the kids. And set aside an hour or so in their day to work on them. But at the same time they still think puzzles are for eating at their ages....

Ugh when did child care become so backwards, it used to be the school's job to teach the kids and the parent's job to raise them, now the school's are parenting and the parents are teaching...

So anyone with toddlers or just past the toddling age as grandparents or parents able to give me what should be a rather typical day? Aside from 15 hours of sleep, 3 meals and 2 snacks a day filled with the major food groups, and avoiding too much sugar or empty calories. Not to mention plenty of time playing out of doors and breathing in plenty of fresh air.

[Jomar]

My niece's kids count & know ABC's at age 3-4 , and colors, basic words/spelling, they know how to write name & some simple words/sentences pre kindergarten, simple adding & subtracting. Often for that showing with toys or snack is a good example.. take away one cookie and how many are left..etc.

But it all depends on how much time and consistency is spent.. and some kid just pick it up easier than others..
But if they know some solid basics they will be a step ahead of many.

[Hockey]

As a parent, with experience as an educator, I feel that, for toddlers, too much emphasis is placed on formal instruction, at the expense of unstructured play. Play is really undervalued.

Play really is a child's "work." The brain develops so much from jumping in puddles, banging together pots and doing other seemingly "unproductive" things. Parents who get in the way of this necessary and natural developmental stage, with flashcards and drills, are, in my experience, doing a lot of damage.

I have seen parents waste endless amounts of time trying to cram "information" into a child's brain. Information that the child would learn in minutes, at the age appropriate time.

Seriously, by the time children are about eight, it's impossible to tell the difference between the one who started to read in grade one or two and the one who was compelled to learn at three or four. All aggressive, premature tutoring does is create a child who dislikes instruction and an annoyed parent. In short, it's bad for brains and relationships.

I'm not saying not to teach your grandchildren. What I'm saying is that they will learn a lot from their own play and playful interaction with you. Finger paint with your grandchildren a few times and I guarantee they'll know their colours just from you saying, "Please pass me the blue pot." Fun and games, not flashcards and drills.

You can always pick out the young children who have had time with a fun, caring adult. They are well-advanced and eager for formal instruction when they arrive at school.

[NurseNancy]

i was going to suggest a lot of what hockey said.
kids can also learn from experiences; like going to the zoo.

you could call the school where they will be going to kindergarten. they should be able to tell you what they should know before entering.

kids do learn from play and being exposed to different experiences.
just enjoy them. setting limits will help them feel like there's control in their environment.

[mrsD]

I think toddlers must be also taught (shown by example) psychological skills that will prepare them for the structure of school.

If one does not show empathy, and reward for it when the child is very young...they will not develop it well and become self centered and demanding. This then leads to poor skills for working with a group and poor understanding of the feeling of others.

We see so many cases of bullying today... this just was not the case decades ago.

I think the effort of parents should be on teaching self calming, empathy and character building in toddlerhood. When a child is feeling settled and safe, they will turn to learning naturally. When the parents demonstrate a love for learning themselves, by reading, discussing events with child that occur at the store, or on TV...then the child will pursue reading and learning themselves.

Our son was reading by age 4. We didn't do any learning formally. The only thing I did was teach him the Eye chart the eye doctors use, because he was blind at birth, and had many visits to get his glasses adjusted (his first pair was at 8mos). I found a large black board at a garage sale and taught him on it. Otherwise he was free to draw or scribble what he wanted. When he was three, the eye doctor said...lets try him on the chart because doing it manually was a laborious and long task for him. My son just zipped thru that chart...his little index finger pointing away..up down, left, right while he sat on my lap looking at the big E's. Both doctor and nurse were amazed.

There is a very interesting video on YouTube right now with a little boy at Chuck E Cheese's behaving very badly there (no parents or guardians seem to be around either).
Granted we don't know the details of this tantrum video...but really we don't want our kids like this entering kindergarten: Obviously this child in the video is too young to function in the stimulating environment of the games area, and should have been removed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THl7fbizJSg

Logical consequence parenting used to be very popular (in my day), and it teaches the child at appropriate levels what limits and boundaries are. It maintains respect always as a goal.
http://www.extension.umn.edu/family/...-consequences/

So instead of structured learning for small children, I think that energy should be spent on socializing them, and having respect demonstrated and reinforced instead. Calm children will then be able to be curious and explore and learn from their environment before school starts in a natural way.

[Hockey]

Originally Posted by mrsD

I think toddlers must be also taught (shown by example) psychological skills that will prepare them for the structure of school.

If one does not show empathy, and reward for it when the child is very young...they will not develop it well and become self centered and demanding. This then leads to poor skills for working with a group and poor understanding of the feeling of others.

We see so many cases of bullying today... this just was not the case decades ago.

I think the effort of parents should be on teaching self calming, empathy and character building in toddlerhood. When a child is feeling settled and safe, they will turn to learning naturally. When the parents demonstrate a love for learning themselves, by reading, discussing events with child that occur at the store, or on TV...then the child will pursue reading and learning themselves.

Our son was reading by age 4. We didn't do any learning formally. The only thing I did was teach him the Eye chart the eye doctors use, because he was blind at birth, and had many visits to get his glasses adjusted (his first pair was at 8mos). I found a large black board at a garage sale and taught him on it. Otherwise he was free to draw or scribble what he wanted. When he was three, the eye doctor said...lets try him on the chart because doing it manually was a laborious and long task for him. My son just zipped thru that chart...his little index finger pointing away..up down, left, right while he sat on my lap looking at the big E's. Both doctor and nurse were amazed.

There is a very interesting video on YouTube right now with a little boy at Chuck E Cheese's behaving very badly there (no parents or guardians seem to be around either).
Granted we don't know the details of this tantrum video...but really we don't want our kids like this entering kindergarten: Obviously this child in the video is too young to function in the stimulating environment of the games area, and should have been removed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THl7fbizJSg

Logical consequence parenting used to be very popular (in my day), and it teaches the child at appropriate levels what limits and boundaries are. It maintains respect always as a goal.
http://www.extension.umn.edu/family/...-consequences/

So instead of structured learning for small children, I think that energy should be spent on socializing them, and having respect demonstrated and reinforced instead. Calm children will then be able to be curious and explore and learn from their environment before school starts in a natural way.

This is so, so true.

People can learn to read, or identify the works of the Northern Renaissance Masters, at any age. If empathy is not acquired, in early childhood, the opportunity, it seems, is missed.

I have always thought that my number one job, as a parent, is to raise my child to be an honest and caring human being. Without that, knowledge is only dangerous.

[Jomar]

I wasn't suggesting drills or aggressive tutoring at all.
Make it an added fun thing during play time once in awhile, but let them learn to play and entertain themselves also.

I think many kids don't know how to play without some sort of "thing" to entertain them.. less electronics and more imagination is my preference..

[Hockey]

Originally Posted by Jo*mar

I wasn't suggesting drills or aggressive tutoring at all.
Make it an added fun thing during play time once in awhile, but let them learn to play and entertain themselves also.

I think many kids don't know how to play without some sort of "thing" to entertain them.. less electronics and more imagination is my preference..

Yes, spot on. Electronic toys are a bane, especially for young children. There is ample evidence that they actually rewire the brain. The consequences of this are unknown. It's like we're engaged in some huge social/cognitive experiment - with not controls or guidelines.

I am a big, big fan of outdoor time. The child gets exercise and all the stimulation nature has to offer. And, wow, it's free.

I didn't think you, personally, were advocating drills. I just see a lot of intensive "parenting," where mommy and daddy are convinced that junior won't get into Harvard if he can't write code and play Chopin by two. For the parents that don't buy into that, there's a whole Preschool "educational" industry trying to make them feel negligent.

If you're looking for ideas to keep your little people happy, check out "The Toddler's Busy Book: 365 Creative Learning Games and Activities."

[Starznight]

Thank you guys so much. Glad to know I don't have to go through the dreaded task of drilling information into little heads. I saw my cousin doing that with her little ones and talk about some fussy babies. I mean she even taught them sign language as infants . And not just a little, I mean she taught them the American Sign Language full course.

I was left to run amok as a child, the more time my siblings and I spent outside the better (for my folks who didn't want 3 screaming kids running around inside our tiny house) and I out preformed my peers in the kindergarten 'pre-test', and continued to do so all the way up to and including college. (In all fairness college was only into bachelor's level courses so nothing spectacular there, far too easy.)

So I'll definitely forget any idea's of 'schooling' babies, and opt for infinite "RECESS!!!" until they're ready for actual school .

I have a yard, pets, a garden and even a bird feeder. We'll let that be their school. Minus of course the mandatory bedtime and naptime stories for which I have books aplenty.

[Hockey]

Perfect, Starznight! And yes, read, read, read to those little people.

Children LOVE books, and the attention they receive from the adult reading them.

But don't take my word for it. Just go to the public library, sit in the kids' section and start reading to your grandchildren. Books are like magnets: within moments, you'll be surrounded by a sea of eager little faces, jostling for position.

Reading to a child builds cognitive capacity and strengthens the bond between parent and child. It's so important that the hospitals in my province send every newborn home with a bag full of board books.

There are so many great books out there for kids. I think you'll enjoy them as much as they do.