I wish I could get my fella to get up and walk. His gas, bowels, well everything would feel so much better. If he didn't need to have this wound packed 3 times a day, I feel like just leaving for a day would make him get up and do for himself. No, I dont' do things for him. If he wants a drink, he has to go get it. Same with his routine medicine, and food. We usually eat at the same time but he doesn't want to eat the same things I do, fruit, veggies, light sandwich. So he does get pretty much all his food.

doydie, does he say why he doesn't want to be up doing things?

maybe there's a reason that you could help him deal with this.
i'm glad he's up and around tho. it takes time.

Judy, he just says the gas pains are to bad. Our short walk today didn't do any good that I can see. We will keep it up though since I also need it.

wow Doydie...you have a lot to deal with!! Males can be so stubborn...then they wonder why they often end up in a fetal position in a nursing home
He needs to understand that moving is life!! If he doesn't move, nothing else does...the digestive system reacts to movement too!!
Hope he can begin to understand that you are there to help him heal...prayers for you for strength!

I had the same thought as Judy...Does he say why he doesn't want to get up and move around. Pain would certainly be one reason he doesn't want to get up and move around. Once the pain is addressed, he'll probably start moving around more. Has he tried Beano or something similar for the gas? I had a friend tell me about it after she had surgery. She said it helped tremendously. Was Charlie's surgery done laparoscopically? If so, I have heard that that can cause terrible gas pains. His poor systems is still trying to heal and figure out what the heck just happened. Give it time. He'll come around once he is feeling better.

Hang in there! You are doing a great job of encouraging him and taking care of him. It takes a while to recuperate from such a major surgery.

Again, thanks so much for your concern and help. His surgery was regular abdominal surgery. I know he is depressed but will never take anything for that. His Mom had severe mental health problems and he doesn't want to take ANY medicine that is directly or indirectly related to helping the brain. We have walked two days now and so far he hasn't seen any relief. But we will keep on trying. His appointment with his neurologist is tomorrow and I know he will remind Charlie what walking will do for his Parkinson's.

Went for 1 month check up today and i wa able to hand over the car keys to him!!!! Thank the Lord. I no longer have to be 'critiqued' by him for every movement I make with my driving.

He still does have this hole the doctor had to make in his incision on his first week check up. I am packing it 3 times a day. it is gradually getting smaller but it's still there. But when I finish, we always get a good kiss and that NEVER happened before surgery. Wish I had the money I was saving his insurance since we aren't using home health to do it. Well I wouldn't want him to kiss the home health nurse anyway.

doydie,

Thanks for the update. He obviously appreciates all you are doing for him. You really have quite a sense of humor.


Gerry

Another ostomy bag fail today. I just changed it yesterday. I am beginning to check for poop outside the bag every time I do the dressing change and sure enough my finger found poop at the top of the bag. His poor stomach looks terrible. Will be calling the ostomy support nurse tomorrow. But he still has ultimate trust in me. Maybe it's because he has no desire at all to change it himself. So I guess in his eyes me doing a bad job is better than him having to do it.

Doydie, it's a good thing you're a nurse because any other person would probably be waving the white flag and calling for help!

I think you have discovered the secret men have been using on us women for decades......."So I guess in his eyes me doing a bad job is better than him having to do it".