The Stumble Inn The place for social chat for our M.S. community. The Stumble Inn


advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-28-2016, 02:00 PM #1
Starznight Starznight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 970
8 yr Member
Starznight Starznight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 970
8 yr Member
Default Anyone dealt with a compulsive liar???

I know this isn't particularly the place for this, but I am at the end of my rope with my step-daughter. Her lies are completely out of control and she is just keeping me stressed out 24/7. She's back to living with us after getting kicked out of my friend's house for not paying rent in the 8 months she lived there where it's not just the rent money but she ran up the electric bill that he was paying, he was paying for her internet too though he cut that off after 6 months. And worse of all she had 2 friggin' roommates that she charged rent, swore they didn't pay her rent, both girls she was living with I know and both showed where they had paid her rent.

I don't know if she's working or not working right now, there's no telling since on several occasions we have watched the DGD for her to work and yet have run into her out in town clearly not working. And she never seems to know when she has to go to work, supposedly has gotten her first paycheck yet, but if you ask her to do something then suddenly she has to go to work. And even though it's a computer repair shop that closes at 6pm she won't come home until midnight or later.

She's "borrowing" some guy's truck and driving around at least 2 other "boyfriends", the ninth and tenth that I know about of love of her life's in the past 15 months since she moved to GA. I just have visions of her ending up shot on the roadside, from these guys that she knows nothing about but this one and that one and of course this guy too and that guy as well are all the loves of her life. I mean we live in a military town, she knows nothing about all these guys but 10 to 1 they know about each other and one of them is likely to take exception to being slept around on, like the one whose deployed for the next 3-6 months and is letting her drive his $40K truck to chauffer the rest of her boy toys around in.

But it's not just the big things that she lies about, I swear if I asked her to look outside and tell me what color the sky was today she'd come back with green. But unlike a pathological liar, she can't even keep her lies straight!!! Her story changes more often than a flea hops. So it's not even as though she doesn't know she's lying. She refuses to go to counselling for it, and I can't even manage to drag her down to the church.

I just don't know what to do anymore but it's reaching a point where I just can't deal with her any longer. I am ready to kick her out of the house, but there's still the grandkids to consider at least until the DGD's father gets off his duff and gets full custody of his daughter. Which sad as it is, I advised him to do, and worse of all even gave him the number for DFCS so he can get a copy of the reports that have been made against her along with her non-compliance with her ordered parenting classes and home visits.

I mean seriously what do I do????????
__________________
Side Effects: may cause dizziness, drowsiness, bleeding from the brain, heart explosions, alternate realities, brain spasms, and in rare cases temporary symptoms of death may occur.
Starznight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (12-29-2016), Kitty (12-29-2016), St George 2013 (12-30-2016)

advertisement
Old 12-28-2016, 02:09 PM #2
TheSleeper's Avatar
TheSleeper TheSleeper is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: About 35 miles southwest of Cleveland Ohio
Posts: 499
15 yr Member
TheSleeper TheSleeper is offline
Member
TheSleeper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: About 35 miles southwest of Cleveland Ohio
Posts: 499
15 yr Member
Default

Fool me once? Shame on you! Fool me twice? Shame on me! I don't have much trouble cutting ties with anyone that doesn't know how to act.
__________________
ditched the witch
.
TheSleeper is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (12-29-2016), Kitty (12-29-2016), St George 2013 (12-30-2016), Starznight (12-28-2016)
Old 12-28-2016, 05:15 PM #3
Kitty's Avatar
Kitty Kitty is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Deep South
Posts: 21,576
15 yr Member
Kitty Kitty is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Kitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Deep South
Posts: 21,576
15 yr Member
Default

Sounds like she needs a good old Come To Jesus meeting.

She sounds like she's just going to keep taking advantage of you and her Dad as long as you allow her to. I'd make sure the grandbaby is taken care of but her stuff would be packed up and waiting by the front door for her the next time she comes home.

Where is her biological mother? Is she in the picture? What does her Dad have to say about this?
__________________
These forums are for mutual support and information sharing only. The forums are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.
Kitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (12-29-2016), St George 2013 (12-30-2016), Starznight (12-30-2016)
Old 12-28-2016, 07:43 PM #4
doydie's Avatar
doydie doydie is offline
Elder
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: southern Indiana
Posts: 5,533
15 yr Member
doydie doydie is offline
Elder
doydie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: southern Indiana
Posts: 5,533
15 yr Member
Default

I don't know if you can do anything at this time. It's your husband who is going to have to pull his big boy pants on and write a contract up and stick to any and all consequences. He may need a family counselor or a lawyer to help with this.
__________________

.
doydie is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (12-29-2016), Kitty (12-29-2016), PamelaJune (12-29-2016), St George 2013 (12-30-2016), Starznight (12-30-2016)
Old 12-29-2016, 07:17 AM #5
Kitty's Avatar
Kitty Kitty is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Deep South
Posts: 21,576
15 yr Member
Kitty Kitty is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Kitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Deep South
Posts: 21,576
15 yr Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by doydie View Post
I don't know if you can do anything at this time. It's your husband who is going to have to pull his big boy pants on and write a contract up and stick to any and all consequences. He may need a family counselor or a lawyer to help with this.
That's a good idea, Doydie.

I can give out advice all day on someone else's kid but, being a Mom, not sure if I could follow it with my own. Just thankful mine never needed "tough love".
__________________
These forums are for mutual support and information sharing only. The forums are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.
Kitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (12-29-2016), St George 2013 (12-30-2016), Starznight (12-30-2016)
Old 12-30-2016, 12:22 AM #6
Starznight Starznight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 970
8 yr Member
Starznight Starznight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 970
8 yr Member
Default

The biological mother is somewhat in the picture, she's currently taking care of the DGS who the daughter basically threw away immediately following him cutting his sisters hair. Poor little guy broke my heart when I went to visit and he asked if he could live with mommy again after his sisters hair grew back . But the biological mother is also clinically insane. Not the usual crazy ex kind of thing but suffers from a multitude of mental disorders and is on disability for them. So she's not much help, especially when she goes into her paranoid phases.

As for the DH, he feels like he's stuck between a rock and a hard place. At the end of the month the DSD has custody back of the DGD and legally social services can't classify her as unfit until such time as she is found to have placed the DGD in direct physical harm, if we kick her out she takes the kid and disappears and we have no way of knowing what is going on with the DGD. If we let her stay, then at least the DGD is under our roof and we can keep an eye on her make sure she's fed and given proper attention and all that jazz, unfortunately as with all legalities, so long as the mother has the child in a place where she is receiving the proper care and nutrition then she's not an unfit mother even if she is not directly responsible for providing said care to the child. Which means if she stays with us, she can't be found to be unfit, but if we kick her out who knows what will happen to the poor grandbaby.

I mean she already trashed one place to the point of having rats and snakes inside the home, we're not talking the pet shop variety either. She let the DGD go almost a month with constipation until I got the kid into see the doctor and still battled with it for another month afterwards because she refused to feed the kid an even halfway decent diet and eventually it ended with my 2 year old grabdbaby in the ER getting an enema while her mother wanted to go home and take a shower, and still thinks my mother and I were exaggerating that the kid could have died. Her little stomach was so swollen and hard it was like she had bricks just below her skin, the pediatrician didn't even wait after taking one look at her stomach she immediately called the ER and sent us over and only didn't call the ambulance because we could get her to the hospital quicker, but of course my mother and I were overreacting.

Obviously you can see my concern for letting that child any where out of my sight with her mother. But legally I have no choice. And if she takes off someplace with the kid because we kicked her out, it could be months before she gets back in touch with us or deems it worth to try and finagle something out of us by contacting us and who knows what will have become of the DGD in that time frame.

It's a completely muddled mess, that has me stressed beyond my limits and ready to simply kidnap the DGD and DGS and just run away to a non-extraditing country. Problem then since I can't work is convince the DH to come with me, kind of need his ability to earn an income, especially since it's hard to run from the law and collect disability.
__________________
Side Effects: may cause dizziness, drowsiness, bleeding from the brain, heart explosions, alternate realities, brain spasms, and in rare cases temporary symptoms of death may occur.
Starznight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Kitty (12-30-2016), PamelaJune (12-30-2016), St George 2013 (12-30-2016)
Old 12-30-2016, 01:05 AM #7
Jomar's Avatar
Jomar Jomar is offline
Co-Administrator
Community Support Team
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 27,678
15 yr Member
Jomar Jomar is offline
Co-Administrator
Community Support Team
Jomar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 27,678
15 yr Member
Default

Is she getting any money /benefits from the state with having the child?
Is that one reason she drags kid around and has not dumped somewhere with a family member?
Maybe offer to take the kid if she signs off parental rights?

What about drug testing her if she is going to be in your home.. her actions are more serious than just a liar...
And she could also be "self" medicating /acting out due to mental/emotional health - it can be hereditary..
Require a full checkup and include mental health, it might be tough to make it happen, but could save her, the kid and your family sanity..
__________________
Search NT -
.
Jomar is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Kitty (12-30-2016), St George 2013 (12-30-2016), Starznight (12-30-2016)
Old 12-30-2016, 06:57 AM #8
Starznight Starznight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 970
8 yr Member
Starznight Starznight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 970
8 yr Member
Default

She is collecting support from the state for both children, even though her son isn't living with her. Her biological other begged me not to report her to the state for not having her son and collecting benefits for fear that the daughter would take the son back. Right now she has guardianship of the DGS but it's "given" by the daughter so she can revoke it at anytime. And she has been tested for drugs and it came up negative, her form of self-medicating is alcohol. Which is stupid, but not illegal unfortunately.

I desperately want to drag her down to the Catholic Church, let them put some of the Old Testament teaching on her. But honestly we have a "family meeting" at least once a week and immediately following she's out the door and off doing what she just said she "understood *sniff, sniff* and I'm sorry..*sniffle* I'm trying... *sob*" okay lets go party and hook up with random guy of the week. I mean she's 25 I can't very well put her over my knee (well I did beat her butt when she borrowed my moms car and got ****faced and had some random guy from the bar drive her home in my moms car) she got a tanned backside for that and was so shocked that I actually struck her backside that she behaved herself for a good two weeks afterwards. I mean even when she was a little kid I never gave her spankings. But then my rule for spanking a child has always been only if they are doing something that can seriously injure them or someone else. Slap your brother, go stand in the corner, throw a knife even just at the floor in a tantrum your better be covering your backside. Run off in a parking lot, especially a full one and it's a quick snatch, swat now hold my hand like you're supposed to. Random guy driving a borrowed vehicle because you're passed out drunk and I don't care if she's 50 years old, she'll get the belt next time.

I'm ready to start treating her like child she is acting like, stand her in the corner, swat her when she's endangering herself or her children. Maybe spending 25 minutes a day standing in the corner will do her some good, at least that's 25 minutes a day that she isn't on her cellphone looking for her next hook-up. I wanted desperately to make one of her house rules to be copying the house rules 10x a day, but the DH wouldn't go for it. It worked when she was a kid though. She had her set of 10 house rules, any time she broke on she had to sit down and copy the rules 10x each. It gave me at least 2 weeks off from her breaking a house rule.

I was clearly brought up Christian, Ten Commandments in the Bible, ten commandments for MY house. Break one of the commandments and you're in far more trouble than if you're just being a mischief maker. Even the DGD has her list of 10 rules and everyday she asks for them to be read to her. About the only one she still can't remember is number 4, no running in the house . But as she's started to remember that one she'll "skate" in the house, it's not running . Now she's only 3 and cannot only remember that she has house rules, but can also follow 9 out of 10 of her rules. Her mother has 10 rules and has yet to make it a day without breaking every last one of them. The DH's idea of "talking" to her every time she breaks a rule is not working. But there has to be a middle ground between "talking" to her and throwing her stuff out by the roadside and telling her she has until trash day to come pick her stuff up.

I just have yet to find that middle ground, hence the massive amounts of stress I'm under . She has basically her own vehicle so we can't exactly take away her driving privileges, though I will say if she ever shows up at the house smelling of booze after driving a vehicle home, she might be lucky if the cops get there in time to find her body. Even before losing my uncle to a drunk driver it is something I have never once in my life tolerated, I even got stuck in Jacksonville once because our DD decided she could have a drink or three and drive us all home... the cops did not agree and my DH had to drive down to pick the rest of us up from the bar. The girl I called the cops on never spoke to me again, but everyone else when they sobered up realized that I spared us all a night in jail for calling them before she drove the car. I mean the cops were sitting on the corner watching for drunks leaving the bar. My own personal rule has always been not on glass, not one bottle, not one shot or one sip will I operate a motorized vehicle. Though I do admit to riding a horse drunk once.... never again, rule for horse is now the same for vehicles. And that was in an enclosed arena, on an animal that had its own brain and was perfectly sober.... trust me on this though it is still a bad idea. I sobered up and found myself hurting in places I didn't even know existed on the human body.

Anyways going to try and get some sleep, the daughter still has not returned from wherever she went now yesterday afternoon around 1:00 and it's now going on to 7 am
__________________
Side Effects: may cause dizziness, drowsiness, bleeding from the brain, heart explosions, alternate realities, brain spasms, and in rare cases temporary symptoms of death may occur.
Starznight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Kitty (12-30-2016), St George 2013 (12-30-2016)
Old 12-30-2016, 07:13 AM #9
Kitty's Avatar
Kitty Kitty is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Deep South
Posts: 21,576
15 yr Member
Kitty Kitty is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Kitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Deep South
Posts: 21,576
15 yr Member
Default

Starz, I think it's time for a Judge Judy meeting.

I know....it seems like a never ending drama fest with your step daughter but can you at least notify the police or Family and Children Services of everything you've told us here? Could they not do something.....even if it's just scaring her with threats of what could happen if she continues down this path?

If there wasn't a child involved the choice would be obvious.
__________________
These forums are for mutual support and information sharing only. The forums are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.
Kitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
St George 2013 (12-30-2016), Starznight (12-30-2016)
Old 12-30-2016, 08:29 AM #10
Starznight Starznight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 970
8 yr Member
Starznight Starznight is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 970
8 yr Member
Default

Already called the police and family services, along with probate court to see about temporary guardianship of the DGD and the Supreme Court to see about getting custody of the DGD... everyone's sympathetic and disgusted with my step-daughter but legally can't do anything . She is supposed to be working with a social worker but since she went MIA in the beginning of December when the social worker was supposed to visit her, we'll see if her lack of communication to them and refusual to follow the ordered parenting classes and home visits doesn't change the legalities a bit. Because believe me, just as soon as she loses her custodial rights to the children, she's out of my house for good. Or at least until she gets her life together. The assistance stops here, and once I know she can't legally just take off with the DGD, believe me her stuff will be out on the curb for the trash man to come pick up.
__________________
Side Effects: may cause dizziness, drowsiness, bleeding from the brain, heart explosions, alternate realities, brain spasms, and in rare cases temporary symptoms of death may occur.
Starznight is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
St George 2013 (12-30-2016)
Reply

Tags
guys, months, paying, rent, shes

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Hey, anyone dealt with this issue? Jim091866 Parkinson's Disease 13 06-20-2016 09:22 AM
Anyone dealt with Stevens-Johnson Syndrome Sissylou Epilepsy 4 02-03-2014 04:55 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:05 AM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.