I know this isn't particularly the place for this, but I am at the end of my rope with my step-daughter. Her lies are completely out of control and she is just keeping me stressed out 24/7. She's back to living with us after getting kicked out of my friend's house for not paying rent in the 8 months she lived there where it's not just the rent money but she ran up the electric bill that he was paying, he was paying for her internet too though he cut that off after 6 months. And worse of all she had 2 friggin' roommates that she charged rent, swore they didn't pay her rent, both girls she was living with I know and both showed where they had paid her rent.

I don't know if she's working or not working right now, there's no telling since on several occasions we have watched the DGD for her to work and yet have run into her out in town clearly not working. And she never seems to know when she has to go to work, supposedly has gotten her first paycheck yet, but if you ask her to do something then suddenly she has to go to work. And even though it's a computer repair shop that closes at 6pm she won't come home until midnight or later.

She's "borrowing" some guy's truck and driving around at least 2 other "boyfriends", the ninth and tenth that I know about of love of her life's in the past 15 months since she moved to GA. I just have visions of her ending up shot on the roadside, from these guys that she knows nothing about but this one and that one and of course this guy too and that guy as well are all the loves of her life. I mean we live in a military town, she knows nothing about all these guys but 10 to 1 they know about each other and one of them is likely to take exception to being slept around on, like the one whose deployed for the next 3-6 months and is letting her drive his $40K truck to chauffer the rest of her boy toys around in.

But it's not just the big things that she lies about, I swear if I asked her to look outside and tell me what color the sky was today she'd come back with green. But unlike a pathological liar, she can't even keep her lies straight!!! Her story changes more often than a flea hops. So it's not even as though she doesn't know she's lying. She refuses to go to counselling for it, and I can't even manage to drag her down to the church.

I just don't know what to do anymore but it's reaching a point where I just can't deal with her any longer. I am ready to kick her out of the house, but there's still the grandkids to consider at least until the DGD's father gets off his duff and gets full custody of his daughter. Which sad as it is, I advised him to do, and worse of all even gave him the number for DFCS so he can get a copy of the reports that have been made against her along with her non-compliance with her ordered parenting classes and home visits.

I mean seriously what do I do????????

Fool me once? Shame on you! Fool me twice? Shame on me! I don't have much trouble cutting ties with anyone that doesn't know how to act.

Sounds like she needs a good old Come To Jesus meeting.

She sounds like she's just going to keep taking advantage of you and her Dad as long as you allow her to. I'd make sure the grandbaby is taken care of but her stuff would be packed up and waiting by the front door for her the next time she comes home.

Where is her biological mother? Is she in the picture? What does her Dad have to say about this?

I don't know if you can do anything at this time. It's your husband who is going to have to pull his big boy pants on and write a contract up and stick to any and all consequences. He may need a family counselor or a lawyer to help with this.

That's a good idea, Doydie.

I can give out advice all day on someone else's kid but, being a Mom, not sure if I could follow it with my own. Just thankful mine never needed "tough love".

The biological mother is somewhat in the picture, she's currently taking care of the DGS who the daughter basically threw away immediately following him cutting his sisters hair. Poor little guy broke my heart when I went to visit and he asked if he could live with mommy again after his sisters hair grew back . But the biological mother is also clinically insane. Not the usual crazy ex kind of thing but suffers from a multitude of mental disorders and is on disability for them. So she's not much help, especially when she goes into her paranoid phases.

As for the DH, he feels like he's stuck between a rock and a hard place. At the end of the month the DSD has custody back of the DGD and legally social services can't classify her as unfit until such time as she is found to have placed the DGD in direct physical harm, if we kick her out she takes the kid and disappears and we have no way of knowing what is going on with the DGD. If we let her stay, then at least the DGD is under our roof and we can keep an eye on her make sure she's fed and given proper attention and all that jazz, unfortunately as with all legalities, so long as the mother has the child in a place where she is receiving the proper care and nutrition then she's not an unfit mother even if she is not directly responsible for providing said care to the child. Which means if she stays with us, she can't be found to be unfit, but if we kick her out who knows what will happen to the poor grandbaby.

I mean she already trashed one place to the point of having rats and snakes inside the home, we're not talking the pet shop variety either. She let the DGD go almost a month with constipation until I got the kid into see the doctor and still battled with it for another month afterwards because she refused to feed the kid an even halfway decent diet and eventually it ended with my 2 year old grabdbaby in the ER getting an enema while her mother wanted to go home and take a shower, and still thinks my mother and I were exaggerating that the kid could have died. Her little stomach was so swollen and hard it was like she had bricks just below her skin, the pediatrician didn't even wait after taking one look at her stomach she immediately called the ER and sent us over and only didn't call the ambulance because we could get her to the hospital quicker, but of course my mother and I were overreacting.

Obviously you can see my concern for letting that child any where out of my sight with her mother. But legally I have no choice. And if she takes off someplace with the kid because we kicked her out, it could be months before she gets back in touch with us or deems it worth to try and finagle something out of us by contacting us and who knows what will have become of the DGD in that time frame.

It's a completely muddled mess, that has me stressed beyond my limits and ready to simply kidnap the DGD and DGS and just run away to a non-extraditing country. Problem then since I can't work is convince the DH to come with me, kind of need his ability to earn an income, especially since it's hard to run from the law and collect disability.