[Erin524]

I am so tired of this stuff.

I just talked to my aunt that lives across the street. (my dad's brother's wife/widow) She's extremely ticked off. Why? Because no one told her that my uncle (dad's sister's husband) had died.

I didnt call her because I had thought that my other aunt (dad's youngest sister) had told her about my uncle's death. Apparently aunt #1 found out about the death from the newspaper's obit page on their website.

So, aunt #1 is going to "make changes in her life", after the funeral. I hope they arent drastic changes, like moving, or not talking to me and my parents.

I'm just so tired of all the crap that's been going on for the past 7 or 8yrs. My parents and I moved to our current neighborhood at the same time that my aunt did. My dad's sisters were apparently really jealous about us moving to brand new houses.

The daughters of aunt #1 and aunt #2 used to be best friends. and then they had a fight around the time that we moved.

Then a couple of years ago the daughter-in-law of aunt #2 tried to get my aunt (#1...am I confusing people yet?) fired from her job at a hospital. (the son of aunt #2 was in the hospital and his wife accused my aunt #1 of using her computer sign-on to access his medical records. She didnt go anywhere near them, and proved it. So, his wife has been shown to be a complete <female dog with puppies> that enjoys making trouble for everyone in my family)

Aunt#2 backed her daughter-in-law, and pretty much got that whole side against my aunt and her two girls, and I guess I must have been "guilty by association".

Then my grandmother died...and Aunt's #2 AND #3 along with my now-dead uncle wanted all my grandmother's money. They wanted to fight my dad and aunt #1 for the money. They didnt need to fight, my dad and aunt were about to give it to them, when the other two aunts got sneaky and took some of the money that was supposed to be shared with all of them.

and I know this is all getting boring and confusing. My dad and aunt ended up letting them take the money, because it's stupid to fight over money when someone has just died...instead of grieving, the other two wanted to fight over the money.

So, after all the crap that's gone on, whole parts of the family have not really spoken to each other since my grandma died (about 4yrs) Nobody has offered any apologies to anyone, and I feel like I've just been in the middle of it all, since I happen to like all my aunts fairly equally, and miss being friends with all of them. (I never got any money from the will, so I had nothing to do with it all)

I hadnt felt like I missed my uncle yet until just this second and am suddenly so tired of everything that I dont even want to drive my dad to the funeral tomorrow. (I'm not going in, not even to the luncheon. I dont do funerals, and I'm ticked off at everyone and would not be good company)

I'm to the point where I want everyone to stop kvetching at each other and to go back to being family instead of everyone being mad at everyone.

I wont even go into how my relatives treat my mother, and how I wish they'd stop being so freaking judgemental of her because she's a Methodist and a Southerner and how people think she's whacko just because she had the bad luck to have a head injury when she was a teenager and because of that she's always been a bit...eccentric... (oops..I went into it a little bit, sorry!)

I think I'm going to take a nap, or go crochet or something and ignore all the family BS for tonight. I just needed to vent.

Oh, and while I was sitting here writing this..aunt #2 (uncle's widow) called my dad. She said that she did call Aunt #1, and told her about my uncle's death and when the rosary was. She was supposed to call her back about the funeral plans and such, but has been so busy with uncle's relatives (about 2 dozen of them decended on her house this weekend) that she hasnt had any time to go to the bathroom, much less call anyone...so really, aunt #1 shouldnt even be mad about not being contacted.

I think I'm going to go lay down...I'm sooooo tired and I think something has woken up the MS Trolls that live in my brain matter and they're what's making me tired and all headachy and not wanting to deal with all the infighting. At least my dad stays out of the fight...they leave him alone pretty much.

at least venting makes me feel somewhat better. Hopefully none of my relatives come across this post, confusing as it was...hopefully I didnt put any information in there that would identify me.

[Kitt]

Unfortunately this happens all too often. I never used to think so. I thought everyone would get along Not so - it happens Hang in there

[Erin524]

I couldnt believe it when I found out how much my dad's sisters do not like my mother, or my uncle's widow.

When I was growing up, it always seemed like everyone got along. Surprised the crap out of me to find out that they hated my mom, and I guess me and my sister because we were part of my mom.

It really bothers me, because I always felt like I was friends with all of my cousins...now I think that I'm only friends with my aunt's (#1) two daughters...who I dont talk to very often.

I know that I would be friends with the cousin who's wife went nuts and tried to get aunt #1 fired from her job. I know I would be friends with him if his wife hadnt demanded that he cant talk to my other two cousins or me. His wife wont allow him to visit us to talk. When we moved, before he got married, he was over here, helping us move the entire time. It was fun to have him around.

I miss my cousin, and I'm sad that his dad died. I think he's about 5yrs younger than I am, but the two of us look like we could be twins. (other than the fact that he's male and I'm female, and the hair color...he's blondish, and I've got brown/quickly going gray hair)

I truly dont think he's mad at our family. I think my cousin is probably just as frustrated as I am that there's been this big split down the middle. Partially caused by his wife, and partially caused by the pre-existing animosity that had been going on in my family for years.

If I havent had all the stupid MS crap going on for the past two years, I might have been more outgoing in trying to talk to the relatives that dont talk to us anymore...I think I havent tried because they're the ones who have always called me a hypochondriac, and I'm not sure that they believe me that I have MS. (I have the medical records to prove it, if they doubt me. I got copies from my neuro)

Heck, I proved to them that we've got a congenital birth defect running thru our family...I've even identified at least 5 relatives aside from me that have/had it. They wont listen to me tho. I guess telling someone that you're not a genetically perfect person kind of ticks people off.

I'm trying to do research on my family to find out how far back the birth defect goes, but cant find out information past my paternal grandfather...who I'm sure handed it down to at least 6 family members.

It's just annoying to be cut off from my cousins now. They all have kids, and I know that they look at me weird because I'm the only one of us who isnt married and producing offspring. (at least I've got a boyfriend)

I tried to take a nap, but I guess insomnia isnt just for actual bedtime.

[beautytransforming]

I am so sorry, and can so relate. When my dad died, I found out what a bunch of jerks he had for sisters and brothers. Luckily, I haven't been close to many, and don't associate with any now.

My mom's brothers/sisters are just as jerky. My mom took care of my g-ma in HER (my mom's) home for 4 years when she (my g-ma) had alzheimers. It was bad. They did nothing but cause trouble, and the funeral was a joke. Again, I choose not to associate with them.

They are all so unhappy and so unsatisfied with life that they have to make others feel that way. Well, I ain't goin' there =)

Hope you can move on and find some centeredness (is that a word?) with your family...

Also, sorry about your uncle. Losing someone we love sucks!

[Erin524]

Originally Posted by beautytransforming

I am so sorry, and can so relate. When my dad died, I found out what a bunch of jerks he had for sisters and brothers. Luckily, I haven't been close to many, and don't associate with any now.

My mom's brothers/sisters are just as jerky. My mom took care of my g-ma in HER (my mom's) home for 4 years when she (my g-ma) had alzheimers. It was bad. They did nothing but cause trouble, and the funeral was a joke. Again, I choose not to associate with them.

They are all so unhappy and so unsatisfied with life that they have to make others feel that way. Well, I ain't goin' there =)

Hope you can move on and find some centeredness (is that a word?) with your family...

Also, sorry about your uncle. Losing someone we love sucks!

Centeredness? hehehe...well, I know some of my relatives have some centeredness...the selfish kind.

[shiney sue]

To bad we all have to grow up and people forget about the good times.
Take good care of your Mom she raised a good daughter..As for the
rest take it a day at a time..You have MS I have PN both are painful
and it's hard ,don't let them stress you out only make you hurt ,
sounds like they to busy getting into every one's business,we are
suppose to love not fuss. Glad you got to vent hope it helps..
Good luck,be proud and hugs to all. Sue

[Erin524]

well, either the stress just hit me, or the ceasar salad I had for lunch (that I found a sharp piece of plastic in) just hit me with something.

(food poisoning, stress or both???)

I feel like crap, I'm waiting for the icky sickies to really start hitting me, and I'm tired and hot and I feel like I'm getting a charlie horse in my lower leg.


I hope this is food poisoning and not a stomach flu. Food poisoning usually goes away quicker.

I'm supposed to go with my dad to help him find the church for my uncle's funeral tomorrow. (funeral is in another town about 45mins from where I live) Now I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to help him with that. (If I dont go, I'll print out a map from Google)

I feel yucky.

[sugarboo]

Morning Erin,
I hope you are feeling better today. Just remember that there will be ebbs and flows throughout life. This shall pass, good times will come, more bad stuff too....It's always going to be something.

[Kitty]

At a time when you'd think families would pull together and be there for each other just the opposite happens.

I got the wake up call of my life when my husband died suddenly 7 years ago. My MIL turned into the wicked witch of the west and said and did things that I would have NEVER believed if I had not seen it with my own two eyes. The woman's not right in the head (seriously) and I think the sudden death of her only son brought it all to the surface.

I feel pity for her - she's old and very unhappy and has pretty much alienated everyone. Her health has taken a nose dive and it wouldn't surprise me to hear of her death any day now.

Death seems to bring out the worst in some families.....I know it did in my husband's side of the family.

I refuse to let it bother me anymore. I've done nothing wrong and neither has anyone else in my family. Like GJ said...there's going to be ups and downs in life all the time. We have to just go with the flow and not let what we can't fix consume us. It's just not worth it.

[Kitt]

Originally Posted by herekitty1960

Death seems to bring out the worst in some families.....

That is so true. I found that out when first my Mom died and then especially so when my Dad died. I now have ex-brothers and ex-sisters-in-law I could not believe what has gone on Well, the way I've come to think is that I don't need to either see or hear from them again. I do not and did not need all the stress. It certainly did not do my health any good. I know some people think that's harsh but until it happens to them, they don't understand. And it happens all too often sad to say. I certainly never thought such a thing could happen. Thanks for listening