Ok, fair warning, I am in a very bad mood and need to vent. If you want to read on, you know what you are getting yourself into.

Okay, I am fed up. I am fed up with life. I am tired of struggling, I am tired of being poor, I am tired of negative bank accounts, I am tired of life.

I try to keep the faith, as a strong Christian I am finding myself mad at God right now. For years we have struggled and can't ever seem to get ahead.

My wife has been out of work since May and the money is just GONE. I am tired of going to family to get help paying the light bill. I am tired of being a burden to them.

I have no idea why I am writing this post. On top of everything else my dog is not well. He was diagnosed with cancer in Jan 07 and they gave him 4 months to live, so we have had the blessing of him doing well for all this time. Yesterday we woke up at 5am with him crying and wincing in pain, wouldnt get up or move. just layed in the middle of the living room crying. I held him for about 4 hours before we had to go to our BBQ for the 4th. we stopped home at 4pm and DW came inside to feed him before we had another place to go. I couldn't do it. She came out and said he seemed much better.

Last night he was almost back to his old self. This morning he is acting fine, I am not sure what happened but I asked God for a Miracle and maybe we got one. I know he is sick, he didn't eat all his food today, first time ever. He is only 9 and since I am home all day, he is my best friend, I am never in a room without him while at home, he was also my service dog for 6 years. The day he dies will be the worst day of my life.

SO, life has really got me down right now and I just want to sleep and not wake up.

I am not normally a "pity party" person but I am just over it. Too many years of the same crap over and over. We do have loving parents and family who do more than they should for us. We do have it better than many we know.I do so many good things for everyone, why do I always get s#% on. My mother jokes and said I am like Little Joe from the old comic Lil' Abner. Lil Joe was Lil Abners friend who always has a rain cloud hovering over him.

Ok, this could go on and on and on, I am just gong to end this thread now.