Ok, fair warning, I am in a very bad mood and need to vent. If you want to read on, you know what you are getting yourself into.

Okay, I am fed up. I am fed up with life. I am tired of struggling, I am tired of being poor, I am tired of negative bank accounts, I am tired of life.

I try to keep the faith, as a strong Christian I am finding myself mad at God right now. For years we have struggled and can't ever seem to get ahead.

My wife has been out of work since May and the money is just GONE. I am tired of going to family to get help paying the light bill. I am tired of being a burden to them.

I have no idea why I am writing this post. On top of everything else my dog is not well. He was diagnosed with cancer in Jan 07 and they gave him 4 months to live, so we have had the blessing of him doing well for all this time. Yesterday we woke up at 5am with him crying and wincing in pain, wouldnt get up or move. just layed in the middle of the living room crying. I held him for about 4 hours before we had to go to our BBQ for the 4th. we stopped home at 4pm and DW came inside to feed him before we had another place to go. I couldn't do it. She came out and said he seemed much better.

Last night he was almost back to his old self. This morning he is acting fine, I am not sure what happened but I asked God for a Miracle and maybe we got one. I know he is sick, he didn't eat all his food today, first time ever. He is only 9 and since I am home all day, he is my best friend, I am never in a room without him while at home, he was also my service dog for 6 years. The day he dies will be the worst day of my life.

SO, life has really got me down right now and I just want to sleep and not wake up.

I am not normally a "pity party" person but I am just over it. Too many years of the same crap over and over. We do have loving parents and family who do more than they should for us. We do have it better than many we know.I do so many good things for everyone, why do I always get s#% on. My mother jokes and said I am like Little Joe from the old comic Lil' Abner. Lil Joe was Lil Abners friend who always has a rain cloud hovering over him.

Ok, this could go on and on and on, I am just gong to end this thread now.

(((Earl))) Oh man, I hear you loud and clear! Being a single mom, unable to work, trying to make it on SSDI and the little I make from working at home I too get sick of just barely making it and/or not making it.

Additionally, to get any sort of help from the state even in an emergency, you have to be completely destitute before they will help. Before I got SSDI, I was trying to support the three of us on around $800 a month. Thank goodness for food stamps. However, it was really difficult as $800 a month took care of utilities and rent. There were no extras. I called to see if I could get family assistance. Well, guess what I could but they would take the girls child support (which isn't regular) and give me less per month! I talked to one of the supervisors at DES and he told me that I would be worse off taking the assistance.

Have you applied for SSDI or SSI? How about any other programs available? PM me if you want info on some of the programs. I learned a lot yet, I don't know how to work the system like some do. I am willing to share what I have learned based on my experiences.

Did your wife ever go to the State Vocational Rehabilitation office? Like I mentioned in the thread regarding this, they have a great program and it is worth checking in to. They help financially while you are going to retraining and such as well as pay for the retraining.

I am sorry to hear about your dog and will pray for a miracle as well.

Hang in there!

Earl,
Ditto to most of it and I FEEL you pain!

Sorry ya'll are having such a hard time, Earl. Will your wife start back to work on the 7th? You had mentioned that in another thread. Hopefully that will give you a little breathing room.

I'm so sorry about your dog, too. I will say a prayer for him. It's hard when the pets we love like family are sick.

Don't feel bad about venting here - we all need to vent otherwise we'd keep it all inside and that'd be even worse! We all do it so you're in good company here.

Wish there was something more I could do to help. I was just approved for LTD and have not had a paycheck since April. I'd love to be able to work but apparently that's not in the plan.

Hang in there, Earl. Lots of us here can relate to your predicament.

Earl
I too teared up reading your post. Here we don't have the answers, but we certainly can feel your pain.

Unfortunately life is not fair. But I make a point of focusing on the good. I would be lost without my family support. They don't really get what I going through, but they keep me housed and loved.

I wish I could be of more help, but I just want you to know you are not alone. I will keep positive thoughts for you, your wife and your dear pup too.

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I hear you, Earl. This is the perfect place for you to vent...with people who know what you are going through.

Special prayers for you, DW and DD, are on their way..

Earl,

I am sorry you have to go through such turmoil. I hear you. to you and your family.

"8)...those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. 9) So don't get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. 10) Whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone..."
Galatians 6:8-10 New Living Translation

I was becoming very discouraged, as you, with never coming out ahead... much of the time putting other first financially, etc. My husband and I talked... God has really provided for us for the past couple years... just at times we didn't have grocery money, he would come through... we have learned to get along on a lot less and be thankful for many little things we used to take for granted.

It's so hard. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Don't give up hope. But it's okay to get down. We are only human. I'm glad you spoke out. It's time for you to let others lift you up!

Hang in there!

Earl, I don't know you at all but your post really got to me. I guess it got to me mostly about your dog. That dog is your life and you have every right to grieve. God is there with you, holding you when you don't have any more strength. I hope tomorrow is a little better. And you don't ever have to apologize about venting here. This is the place to do it.