[soxmom]

A parenting question here. I welcome feedback from parents and nonparents
alike....please.

My ds18 is away at college...about two hours away. He called yesterday
and asked if his db16 could come pick him up so he could come home
for the weekend.

Now my ds16 just got his license last week. He has very little highway
experience and this trip requires you to go thru Providence RI and some
other roadwork. He has only made this trip once when he and i drove
his brother to school and I did the driving.

I am unable to go get him myself at this late time. I said no. I dont
think he has enough experience. Well, Im getting it from both ds's.
"I dont trust him." "I think hes a bad driver" and on and on.

Am I being overprotective???? Id love to see my son but Im not letting
ds16 drive. Ive already made my decision but....be honest...was it a
bad one????

[AfterMyNap]

I agree with your decision. Brothers can easily get distracted when together and young drivers are already at risk. No matter how much grumbling they do, you're still the mom. They'll get over it!

[Girlie Girl]

I agree with AMN, he is so new and will be easily distracted. Don't worry, they will get over it. I know it is hard to stand your ground, but you are looking out for both of them. I don't even want to imagine "what if" and you probably don't want to either. You made the right decision.

[soxmom]

thanks girls. you're the best. I didnt even ask my husband, I just made an executive
decision.

[Girlie Girl]

I know the road through Providence and I don't even like to drive it. I love driving but I try to stay away from there!!!! Scary stuff.

[tkrik]

I agree with you 100%.

It is not a matter of your trust in DS16 at all. It is a matter of inexperience as well as lack of trust in other drivers on the road. Maybe you can suggest that next weekend, if it can be arranged, you will go with DS16 to pick up DS18. Let DS16 drive the whole time. This way DS16 can get the experience as well as confidence while you are with him to help guide him. Also, let DS18 know that yes, you really want to see him and would love to have him home for the weekend but this weekend it just won't work out.

Of course, DS18 can take the bus. lol Kids hate to hear that.

You are a good mom Sox! Let them have their tantrums. They will get over it.

[kellijo]

As someone who works in insurance I agree with your decision 100%.

As a mom I agree with your decision 100%.

Grumble as they may they will get over it. I would have done exactly the same thing.

[Debbie D]

I like Tricia's line of reasoning...can't trust other drivers.
I also like the idea posted to go next weekend, have ds16 drive while you watch...it's a great experience, and a nice time to talk about stuff while you have him imprisoned in the car with you
Don't worry about being the "bad guy"...it's your job to be a parent, not a friend. You can be their friend when they're 30, when they realize how smart a parent you were...

[Bannet]

I completely agree. No way would I let my beginner drive drive that far.

My ds just got his license about 8 months ago because I didn't feel he was quite ready.

His sister lives an hour away and as soon as he got his license he wanted to go. NO WAY! After about 6 months of him driving I finally let him go but worried and made him call me as soon as he got there and as soon as he left to come home.

I also told him if I ever caught him driving with his cell phone in his ear I would take his truck away (it's mine until he pays it off)

You made the right decision. Stick to your guns. Mom's really do know best

[weegot5kiz]

I totally agree, this isnt something you can say oh ok maybe you will do better next time, vehicles are deadly weapons and so are highways, at least around chicago they are. And Cindy made a very good point, brothers can become very distracted, and as others mentioned, there does seem to be too many OTHER drivers out there