[wkikta]

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer,
'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe catches your fancy
and your pacemaker opens the garage door,

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going braless
pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes,
just as long as you don't have to go along

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor
instead of by the police.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting a little action'
means you don't need to take any fiber today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means
you find your car in the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up
to use the bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure these are jokes?

[ewizabeth]

Oh my gosh, I can really relate to those! Thanks for sharing!

[KajunButterfly]

Don't think I'll ever wear a bra again.

[Koala77]

Old is when........you reach the age of thirty.....

I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, and I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

They've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, they live in Utopia! And I hate to say it, but kids today don't know how good they've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter...with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there.

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids' and the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!

Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theatre there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you, you just couldn't see.

Cable television.... what the heck is that? Back then there was only like 4 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!

You were up the creek when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel, and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons! Kids today are so spoiled!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a fire.... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about!

The kids today have got it too easy. They're spoiled!!!!!!!!!

Those guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980! Oh yeah, and a seatbelt was Mom throwing her arm across your chest every time she hit the brakes.

[freeinhou]

Ok Koala, that was funny!

I remember when they first came out with plastic bottles. I was like 8 years old. We got a free sample of shampoo in the mail in a small "unbreakable" bottle. Well, unbreakable really impressed me. I wanted to see this! So I heaved it down the basement stairs. Nope. It was not unbreakable. Shampoo all over the place!

Tom

[Kitty]

Oh, Anne, that was hysterical!! And I know exactly what you mean!! As crazy as it sounds.....I would love to go back to those simpler times. Everything today is done at warp speed....and I can't go that fast anymore!

[Bannet]

LOL. I found this really funny! Especially number 1. Boy can I relate to that hahahaha.

[AfterMyNap]

These are great! I remember the first time I really felt old, I was looking at these newly arrived shoes called "Birkenstock" and I said to the salesman, "Oh, these are like Roots". He looked at me like I had just grown 11 new arms. I said, "You know, Earth shoes, from the 70s!" He looked me right in the eye and answered, "Ma'am, I was born in the 70s."

Boy, if I ever wanted to smack someone, it was right then!

[Bets]

Old is when: you start making the same "getting old" jokes your parent's did when you were in the 7th grade. Only now you think the jokes are funny, then you thought they were stupid.

Old is when: Your sweetie refers to your shoes as sensible (my dbf is soo in the doghouse for this one)

[yeahbut]

I have just one question..... if I think these are funny and I understand them does that mean I am getting old???