Help me re-gift a feminine hygiene product

Twinkletoes · 10-05-2008, 07:13 PM

My DD#2 just came for a visit and brought me a nicely wrapped gift for my (belated) birthday. I'm not sure what message she is trying to send me, but she bought me a Dooney & Bourke wristlet purse. Inside the same box was another "gift".

It began more than 10 years ago when she (my youngest daughter) was still living at home.

A free sample of "Always" maxipads arrived in our mailbox, so I tossed it on DD's bed. Later it was on the hall floor, so I put it back on her bed.

Days later I noticed it again and returned it to its "rightful" owner.

It kept turning up in my bedroom after that. It took awhile before DD and I finally had a face-to-face conversation about the free sample.

She was indignant and said that SHE didn't want it! Well, I didn't want it either!

Fast forward a couple of years.

I had nearly forgotten all about it when, mysteriously, the package turned up again. So I wrapped it up and mailed it to her at college. Next time she visited, it reappeared once she left.

It just so happened that DD#1 was visiting when our family all drove "up north" in separate cars to Salt Lake City. We finished our shopping and agreed to meet at Krispy Kreme Donuts.

Oldest DD and I had been to Sam's Club earlier and bought an INDUSTRIAL SIZE blue box of "things." (Our own private euphemism for feminine products).

DD#2 and her DH were already inside having a donut.

So DD#1 and I decided to put the BIG BLUE BOX inside the car. But it was locked. So we placed it on her windshield and went inside.

I'm not good at keeping a straight face, but somehow managed to be nonchalant while we ate the warm, luscious donuts.

I should mention that earlier that day we'd already had a showdown in another parking lot as we all exited a restaurant. We tried to put a sticky pad "thing" on her wheelcovers, but her DH drove away too fast. They'd easily spotted the one we placed on the antenna and removed it. (In retrospect, we should have put it on the license plate). *sigh

So when it came time to leave Krispy Kreme, DD#1 and I grabbed our purses, ran out ahead, jumped in our car and locked the windows. Then we laughed our heads off when she and DH discovered the surprise on her car and tried to return it, but couldn't.

Today I didn't even bother trying to hide it in her car b/c I knew she would check. So I kept the darned thing. The cellophane has been repaired more than once, and its beginning to look a bit ratty after 12 years, lol.

I'm hoping that my clever friends here at NT will come up with a way to return the "Always" thingie in spectacular fashion. Her DH proposed to her on the Jumbotron at a Denver Broncos game, so not sure I can top that. (Yep, she kept wanting to go to the concessions during half-time, but he wouldn't let her. When it finally showed up -- G**** WILL YOU MARRY ME? -- he dropped to one knee right there beside the bench (nosebleed seats), brought out the rock and proposed. All together now: Awwwwww.

So whaddya think? She lives 180 miles away. I'll be traveling there for a court clerk's conference later this month. She works at a doctor's office. It's hard to surprise her anymore, cause she has come to expect it.

When she first got hired at the doctor's office, I showed up unannounced and said I was there for a shot. "What kind of a shot?" they wanted to know. I said there was a girl from this office who told me to come in and she'd give me a Copaxone shot. It was a heart doc, so the receptionists had NO idea what I was talking about.

I was insistent and they began to quiz everyone in the office. One by one nurses came to the front. Each took a look and denied knowing me, including my DD, who couldn't help but smile. We all had a good laugh.

Her DD works for the Nat'l Guard, but I doubt that he could get permission to deliver a box of "things" in a Howitzer. Actually, he repairs diesel equipment now, so that's out.

C'mon, let's put our collective heads together and do some brainstorming.

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