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Old 11-15-2008, 03:53 PM #1
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Default Empty nest is creeping up on me

DD is turning 19, and leaving to serve in New Orleans with a church organization which repairs and rebuilds homes damaged by disasters.

I am so proud of her. I recently found out that, in 5th grade, she wrote a paper for school regarding plans for her future, in which she already indicated that she wanted to do some voluntary service after high school. She will be the third generation of people in my family who has spent a significant amount of time volunteering through a church agency.

But, it's hard to let her go. She plans to go to college out-of-state next year.

I grew up in Canada, met a Kansas man, and have spent my adult life in Kansas. It's often been hard to be so far away from my family, and, I know that, when my daughter leaves home, that it is possible that there will be events which may also lead her not to return permanetly to her home town. I've already spent a couple of decades away from my family. I hate to consider spending another couple of decades doing this with the next generation.

My son is a senior in high school, so he will likely be going off to college soon, too. However, he plans to stay closer to home, and remain in the state.

Thank goodness for cell phones, and email, and other things that make keeping in touch over long distances easier than it used to be.

~ Faith
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Old 11-15-2008, 05:19 PM #2
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Faith, I'm glad your daughter's found something that she wants to do and which makes you proud of her.

As my kids have gotten their own lives and have matured, I find that they find ways to stay in touch that surprise me. Both have married. Now I have a DIL who calls me "Mom," something I won't let my kids call me and I like it from her. She's a sweet girl and my son loves her a lot. And I have a SIL who will send me a text or e-mail me and he'll call me occasionally just to chat. So it's strange--they've gone away but I've gained so much more from it.

And though they've had to stretch and grow and we've had our bumps along the way, things are ok. They're good. And we've come to terms with the fact that we're different people and that's fine.

So don't think that they're going to forget to come back or not think of you when they're not there with you. They won't. You don't have that kind of relationship with your kids.

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Old 11-15-2008, 05:33 PM #3
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Faith sorry about the empty nest blues(catchy title for a song). I know it isnt the same but do you all have web cams you can chat via web with yahoo and other servers and skype which is a free phone calling service via the internet and you can web cam chat via skype too, again sorry about the blah feeling, but at least you know you know ya did things right by the kids
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Old 11-15-2008, 05:54 PM #4
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faith I too am sorry about your blues...and I have a few I could send you for weeks at a time...hehehehe I have five kids...one is crying right now...as I type....so your pick....ages 15, 13, 9, 3 and 18 months...for a week, month or heck maybe few months..not sure I could handle too long...hehehe but wanted to sacrifice for you and your empty nest lol...

all kidding aside...hugsssss and love, think of the things you can do for YOU..once empty nest time comes.....things maybe you couldnt accomplish..or time alone to read....or whatever may be..hugsss,sarah
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Old 11-15-2008, 06:22 PM #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gazelle View Post
. . .

So don't think that they're going to forget to come back or not think of you when they're not there with you. . .
Glad you're enjoying having adult children. Hope you're right, that there are things that I can gain when they are grown, even if they are far away.

~ Faith
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Old 11-15-2008, 06:25 PM #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weegot5kiz View Post
Faith sorry about the empty nest blues(catchy title for a song). I know it isnt the same but do you all have web cams you can chat via web with yahoo and other servers and skype which is a free phone calling service via the internet and you can web cam chat via skype too, again sorry about the blah feeling, but at least you know you know ya did things right by the kids
DD just got a web cam as a going away gift from a family she's done a lot of babysitting for, and, I know that she uses "Skype" with some of her friends. My DH is more technologically literate than I am, and I bet they've got these technologies figured out so we can use them when she's gone

Those are some good ideas; thanks!

~ Faith
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Old 11-15-2008, 06:29 PM #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sabimax View Post
faith I too am sorry about your blues...and I have a few I could send you for weeks at a time...hehehehe I have five kids...one is crying right now...as I type....so your pick....ages 15, 13, 9, 3 and 18 months...for a week, month or heck maybe few months..not sure I could handle too long...hehehe but wanted to sacrifice for you and your empty nest lol...

all kidding aside...hugsssss and love, think of the things you can do for YOU..once empty nest time comes.....things maybe you couldnt accomplish..or time alone to read....or whatever may be..hugsss,sarah
Hey, Sarah. Send your kids on over!

I've dreaded, for a long time, my kids growing up and moving away. I always especially enjoyed the little kid stage, but also enjoyed the middle school and teen years. (Although, I gotta tell ya, age 18 was sorta tough sometimes. They think they're entitled to all kinds of extra privileges, and, haven't quite grasped the concept that, with privileges, comes responsiblity.)

I'll miss not only her, but also her friends.

~ Faith
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Old 11-15-2008, 08:43 PM #8
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I hear ya faith...I will so miss it..all...well I have lots of years though to go...but wow does it go fast...as my oldest seems like the other day was a baby...and he is sophmore year at high school...your right the friends thing too...you get attached in their lives with the friends and all....youngest is 18months...so I got 17 years left haha....so I will surely feel your feelings though..I just know it...but some of me will be ready for golfing with hubby more often....( if I am not too disabled..with whatever I have that is undx lol)

hugssss, sarah
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Old 11-15-2008, 08:52 PM #9
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Time to volunteer at the child care facility at your church . . . or to get a puppy.

Be thankful there are no grand-kids yet.

You have raised them well, they are caring, and they are healthy. I pray I do such a good job, and my kids are always well enough to go where-ever they want that brings them peace of mind.

I understand how lonely it is though, as my kids are not home much now. They both travel a lot, and are very involved, so my house is often without much activity already. Mine are only 12 and 16.

I live vicariously through them.

Cherie
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Old 11-15-2008, 10:19 PM #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lady_express_44 View Post
Time to volunteer at the child care facility at your church . . . or to get a puppy. . .
I'm doing that. Well, we don't have a child care facility, but I teach Sunday School and Wednesday night.

I also volunteer 3x a week at a local elementary school in the 5th grade classroom. And, I'm looking into applying for a substitute aide position at a local child care center.

We have a cat; I'm not a dog person.

~ Faith
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