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Old 11-23-2008, 04:05 PM #1
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Vermont
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Blessings2You Blessings2You is offline
Elder
Blessings2You's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Vermont
Posts: 6,726
15 yr Member
Default Getting used to each other again

I'm looking for some insight from couples who've had to adjust to each other after one or both retired.

I'm fixin' to retire in a few days, and I'm guessing it won't be an entirely smooth transition, partly just because my emotions are so off the wall(s) about it.

But also because Bob retired thirteen years ago, and he's had the house to himself all those years, set up his own routine (Bob LOVES his routine ) and, like most couples, we have different perspectives on things. Such as heat, light, and noise.

I don't want to "pull rank" and say "OK, now I'm home and we're going to do things MY way." But neither do I want to sit in the dark with my teeth chattering, being quiet all the time. I'm exaggerating somewhat to make my point.

Don't get me wrong. I love Bob with all my heart, and he loves me. His lifestyle choice, however, is keeping the thermostat low, the "unnecessary" lights off (read: all of them), and thinking his thoughts.

My lifestyle choice is having every light in the house on (what is this, Bob, a CAVE?), having the temperature at least above freezing, and blabbing every thought that goes through my mind. These are just a few of our "opposites attract" characteristics.

Neither of us adapts really well to big changes, so this ought to be interesting. The biggest pitfall I can foresee is the apology loop. I go yapping on and on until his eyes glaze over, then I apologize, then he says "You don't need to apologize!" then I apologize for apologizing....aaaaargh.

What are your experiences with re-adjusting when suddenly you are both home? I know we'll have to compromise, and we certainly will, but I'd like to hear your stories.
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