I just bought my mom a sweater vest as an early Xmas present. Brought it home, showed it to my dad first, and we gave it to her.

She was nice about it at first...it's not exactly a Xmas vest, it's more "Winter" (snowmen, robins, and it's red. I got one for myself, and it's got Xmas trees on it, but it has similar snowmen on it)

She was about to try it on, and all of a sudden, she's yelling at me that it's "cheap, and smells". (I sniffed it...it smells like brand new clothing usually smells...clean, but with a hint of "store" to it...not offensive at all to me...she is on steroids for some allergy problems, maybe that's what makes her think that it smells?)

ARGH!!! I cant stand it! I bought it for her, because I thought she'd like it, and then while she was about to try it on, she screams at me. Screw it. She's just turned me into Scrooge when it comes to buying anything nice for her ever again. (she's done this before...when I've crocheted her stuff...which actually hurts my feelings a lot more)

My head hurts, my legs are lead weights (stupid MS crap) and my brain has this weird fog following it around.

At least I'll save money, time and energy not buying my mom anything else for Christmas. I think I'll go return the vest I got her and the one I bought for myself...(thankfully not matching)

Yikes...........Im sorry your mom hurt your feelings. Do you think
she could be feeling a little "roid rage"???? I dont know...I just wanted
you to know Im sorry you are feeling bad.

sorry Erin does sound a bit like roid rage, I tend to get a wee bit snappy oh my on steroids. Sorry your feelings got hurt

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, Erin , and I know this is not the first time she's done something like this.

She has brain damage though, and even if she wasn't on steroids, she's very unpredictable. Well, she is actually quite predictable . . . just not in a "normal" sort of way.

The only thing you can change is your reaction to her behavior. She is not going to EVER get better, and will likely only get worse as she ages . . . so try not to let it upset you too much.

Cherie

I'm sorry your mom hurt your feelings (again). Sending hugs.

Cherie always makes so much sense. Seriously.

I'm only beginning to know you Erin, so I am less familiar with the past situations, but that must be really tough to deal with.

She's always been kind of "ragey". You know when someone says that things are getting on their "last nerves". I dont think she has any "last nerves". Stuff sets her off if she's in just the right mood.

I cant exactly tell if it's 'roid rage, or if it's her normal kvetchiness. I do kind of think that she throws things across the room a bit more since she's started the steroids. (watching her rollator go flying is kind of funny tho...since she'll usually need it back to stomp out of the room)

I'm too tired to take the sweater back. My dad said that he'd deal with it. I decided to keep my sweater, and I think my dad is going to probably convince my mom to keep her sweater. (she did finally try it on while I was shopping for Wii games for my nieces on Amazon)

It's just irritating that I cant keep up with her rapid cycling bad/good moods anymore. Seems like everything can set her off. Things she likes make her mad. ("here Mom, I brought you some coffee..." "You did what?!?!" ~anger~)

I'm starting to discover the "joys" of MS fatigue this week....which I think is why I cant keep up with her changing moods. I havent been sleeping well (again) and it's starting to affect me physically now, rather than just the normal mental fatigue. My legs are sooooooooo tired. At least they dont feel the painful burning anymore...they still burn, but it's weird...it kind of feels good sometimes. (that sounds like a slightly masochistic statement...doesnt it?)

At least I'm getting my Xmas shopping done a lot earlier...usually I wait till the second week of December. Instead I started yesterday. I just have to order all the fun stuff for my dad from Amazon, and then take my mom shopping (oh...please no! she'll just say no to any of my suggestions and then tell me that I wouldnt let her look at stuff...at least I can buy some stuff and then tell her she was with me when I bought it...she probably wont remember)

I think later this week, I'm taking my mom to WalMart, put her on one of the electric scooters and let her loose with her credit cards. If I can get her in the right mood, she'll buy half the store for my dad.

((Erin)) That must be really hard. Was she like this when you were little or is this a more recent thing? I'm glad you came here to vent and get some support from your friends. For your own peace/piece of mind, have you ever considered moving out of her home? In any event hang in there and do what you need to protect your self.

Erin, I learned a long long time ago that money cannot be returned and is loved by all. Get her a gift card and if she complains tell her why you bought it.

You raise a good point, Sandy.

I have a sister who HATES getting gifts and is always miserable when she gets one. Her b/f used to buy her flowers, and she'd get mad because they were "cut one's and will just die". If he bought her diamond earings, they were "a waste of money when the cheap one's look just as nice".

She scoffs whenever a friend tries to buy something original, and says "what a weird present, etc.". If you give her money or a gift certificate, she says "that didn't take much thought", and if you take her shopping to let her pick, she says "now I have no surprises".

There is NO winning with her!!

The ONLY thing that works is if she picks things throughout the year, and you PAY ATTENTION to what she says. That's the only way you can get something she likes, AND it will be a surprise. Of course she has very expensive tastes too . . . so I could never afford what she wanted anyway. That seems to work for her husband though.

I just stopped buying for her.

Cherie